Wednesday, December 31, 2008

We Don't Need No Stinkin' New Years Resolutions

I don't actually have any New Years Resolutions. I could vow to lose weight and exercise more but I think we ALL know that is probably not going to happen. Although I do plan to cut back on the Christmas candy and cookies. But that is only because I already ate all of them.

I could vow to watch less TV but what would be the point? I am constantly learning all kinds of vital information from the TV shows we watch even though, at this particular moment in time, I can't recall a single one. But I'm pretty positive they exist.


I could vow to take fewer naps but then what would I blog about? Because when I searched for a blog post to put here as an example, I found TWO PAGES of posts. About napping. So, obviously, they are an important part of my writing repertoire.

I could vow to cook more meals at home but someone has to support the economy and what would all the employees of those restaurants do if everyone stayed home and cooked? They would go out of business, that's what. So, I'm actually being pretty darn noble here.

But I felt pretty strongly that I needed to have some sort of inspirational New Year-type resolution message here. Something that I could actually accomplish. Something to show you that I am not actually the slacker/napper/no-home-cooked-meals preparer/ individual I might appear.

And then I noticed this.


And I thought. That can be my resolution! I will clean and organize my desk!

And then I remembered the two books Tom got me for Christmas. And how I have only finished one. And that I have basically nothing to do all day today. And that. Well. There might actually be a few cookies left. That are in serious danger of getting stale.

So I got in my recliner with a quilt over my legs and I read a book. And ate cookies. All afternoon.

I'll get to the desk.

After all.

It's a resolution.

Right?

Tuesday, December 30, 2008

Try It Tuesday: I Paint My Face Every Morning

Perhaps you think the title of this post is a use of figurative language and I don't mean that I LITERALLY paint my face my face, but FIGURATIVELY. But no. I paint my face. I use this.

That's a foundation brush from Estee Lauder, but you can get one from most of the makeup companies.


A while back when I got a makeover, the makeover person suggested I try a foundation brush. When she explained that you put some foundation on the back of your hand, then use the brush to pick it up and paint your face, I thought she was insane. Not FIGURATIVELY insane but LITERALLY. Who paints on their foundation? That's just crazy talk.

Only. It's not. The brush is big and soft and actually feels really nice as you put on your foundation. You also don't get any dirt or oil from your fingertips which can happen if you use them to apply.

It might sound insane, but it works and I love it. If you don't want to invest in a brush without trying it, go have a makeover. Most of the department stores have makeup counters that will do one for free. Let them use the foundation brush. And let me know what you think.

You can learn a lot about people in the parking lot of a mall the day after Christmas, can't you? That most people are actually pretty nice. That most people will give a little bit, let someone pull out in front of them, take that extra 60 seconds to pause and let people walk across the lane in the front of their car. Read more at my Herald-Leader blog here.

Monday, December 29, 2008

He GETS Me

Well, it's only taken 31 1/2 years.

Years of getting presents carefully shopped for and purchased from a list I painstakingly created for him.

A list he asked for every year because he had no idea what to buy for me.

This year I added a little something to the list. At the bottom, in small print, I wrote "Surprise me".

And so, for the wife he has known for almost 40 years, for the wife who spends an INORDINATE amount of time getting massages, manicure, pedicures, locating the closest spa on vacation, shopping for herself and generally pampering herself to the UTMOST. He bought.

A gift certificate for a massage. And a gift certificate for a pedicure. WENT to the locations and purchased them. Tucked them in my stocking.

I think I'll keep him around for another 31 1/2. Don't you think?

Friday, December 26, 2008

For Fun Friday: December 26, 2008

Play and create with dominos.

http://www.drawminos.com/

This gets harder and harder. See how you do.

http://www.freeworldgroup.com/games8/gameindex/mindcards.htm

Turn off the music and just enjoy the fire. No mess. No cleanup.

http://fauxfire.com/

Thursday, December 25, 2008

Merry, Merry Christmas!

I have my turkey in the oven, presents piled under the tree, and my table set with Christmas dishes. The house is quiet as I sit here in my robe writing this note to my wonderful and loyal readers. My children will be here soon and we will open presents, have a delicious meal and laugh and talk and just enjoy being together.


I am so lucky. I realize it every single day.

I hope you are having a holiday that makes you as happy as you can possibly be.

Thanks for reading. I truly appreciate it.

Wednesday, December 24, 2008

It's Just A Good Thing I Am Not In Charge Of Getting That Heart Transplant There On Time

So, I had plans to meet up with some of my girlfriends for lunch the other day. A friend emailed and we planned it right up and I made a mental note and, even though I was going to have Moose that day, I knew I could arrange everything because I am so ORGANIZED and SO AWESOME and I PLAN EVERYTHING so well.

I knew we would have to leave town at 11:30 to be there by 12:00 so we ran our errands, then went to the mall where we exchanged some sleeping pants, went to several stores to find little boy shoes with laces (per mom's instructions) with Spiderman on them (per Moose's instructions) and, although we had to go to four different stores and had to compromise on lace shoes with ELMO on them, we managed and everyone was happy.

And it was 11:15 and time to coat up and head to the car so we could be at lunch just in time. We popped in Red Robin for a corn dog and fries since I didn't think Panera would tempt a little boy's appetite and then, there we were. At Panera. At 12:00. I was marveling at myself just a LITTLE BIT. Because I had planned things SO WELL and I was SO ORGANIZED and so totally AWESOME. I may have even tossed my head. A little. Because I was that FULL OF PRIDE.

And then I looked around and saw none of my friends. God. I can't believe they are late. Don't they realize how ORGANIZED I am? How I PLANNED EVERYTHING? How I am TOTALLY AWESOME???

So, at 12:10 I called Debbie to see where everyone was.

And she informed me we were getting together TOMORROW.

Not TODAY.

So Moose and I had lunch at Panera.

He was great company.

Just not precisely the lunch I was visualizing for someone who is so organized, awesome and such a great planner.

Not PRECISELY.

Stumble It!

Tuesday, December 23, 2008

Try It Tuesday: Sister Schubert Pre-Baked Dinner Yeast Rolls

We have been huge fans of the Sister Schubert frozen yeast rolls for years. They are a staple at any holiday dinner and I often use them for our family dinners as well. Just pop them in the oven in their aluminum pan and they are just as good as homemade. I was grocery shopping the other day, decided to pick some up and noticed a bag of the Sister Schubert pre-baked dinner large yeast rolls, so I thought I would give them a try.

You MUST go the store and IMMEDIATELY and buy these. They are FABULOUS. Not only are they already baked, so you just heat them up for about 5 minutes, they are better than any homemade or restaurant yeast roll I have EVER had. Seriously. They are a nice size and 3 2 1 goes very nicely with any meal. If you have some willpower. If not, you can easily heat up more. Let me know what you think!

Why, yes. That bag IS empty. Huh. Guess I should have taken the picture before we PIGGED out on rolls.

Does anyone else have an ISSUE with these dark tinted windows in vehicles? I'm not talking about a lightly shaded window that helps block the sun and keep the car cool, I'm talking about a pitch black window that is as dark as being inside the stomach of a possum...read more at my Herald-Leader blog here.

Monday, December 22, 2008

Well Played, IPHONE, Well Played

Tom sent me a recipe to try the other day.

Yes. That is NOT a misprint.

My husband sent me a recipe. This is the same husband who can't throw away trash and is incapable of throwing away the heel of the bread and, just this morning, asked me if the dishwasher was full of clean or dirty dishes because he JUST CAN'T TELL. He sent me a recipe. By email. From his Iphone.

At first, I thought it was joke. A recipe? Seriously? And then I realized. It was the IPHONE. His new Iphone. With all the new apps. Which he loves and adores and practically croons over as he uses it. No. Wait. He DOES croon over it. We skip over the commercials every night when we watch the DVR but when an Iphone commercial comes on? We have to pause just to make sure it is not app he does not already have.

Now, if there was only an app that would actually teach him how to make that recipe on his very own as I lounged in a hot bubble bath and then had dinner served to me on a tray?

That would totally be a worthwhile app.

Friday, December 19, 2008

For Fun Friday December 19, 2008

Took me a while to figure out the technique with this one.

http://www.miniglobz.com/games/twin_en.html

We all know we have to DUCK AND COVER when an atomic bomb hits. Because we know THAT'S going to work.

Thursday, December 18, 2008

Velveeta Revelations: Velveeta Fudge

So, we are still workin' the whole Velveeta thing over at our house and can I just say? Every single recipe I use calls for a POUND of Velveeta. What's up with using a whole POUND of processed cheese PRODUCT in your food? And what does this say about those people who actually eat Velveeta? Of which I am one? I'm not going to think about that. I'll think about it tomorrow. And Scarlett never would have maintained that waistline if Velveeta had been invented a little sooner. Read more at my Herald-Leader blog here.

Wednesday, December 17, 2008

I Can Wear Pajamas To Work

One of the nicest things about working in a school, besides this of course:




is that we often participate in fun, silly events. Like Storybook Character Dress-Up Day, which was announced the other day. It didn't take me long to think of the PERFECT book. "The Polar Express", by Chris Van Allsburg. The characters are all dressed in their pajamas.

I wore sleeping pants, a long sleeve t-shirt and slippers to school.


Seriously.


Could life BE any better?

Tuesday, December 16, 2008

Try It Tuesday: ABC Fun Shapes Tater Tots

The three nicest words in the English language? I love you.
But a close second? SNOW. DAY
.

My grandson is a big fan of corn dogs and tater tots and, really, who isn't? At the grocery store the other day, I stopped in the freezer aisle to pick up some tater tots and found these. ABC TATER TOTS!

How fabulous is that? He gets his favorite food AND an educational experience at the same time. As he ate his lunch, we talked about the different letters, what words started with those letters and the sound they make. And then he dipped them in ketchup and ate them. Not very often you get to eat your learning materials! I sampled one and they are just regular tater tots. Only in ABC shapes.

Check them out and let me know what you think.

Today I have a darling arts and crafts basket to give away. I'll give you the details in a minute but let me catch you up on the book giveaways for the last few weeks. Read more at my Herald-Leader blog here.

Monday, December 15, 2008

Oh, And Coincidentally...

At lunch the other day in the teachers lounge (which, incidentally, is a complete MISNOMER because it is extremely difficult to lounge when you have 25 minutes to eat lunch) someone mentioned how their daughter was participating in this yoga class at college they called "Hot Yoga". Not nearly as sexy as it sounds, apparently they keep the room at a toasty 105 degrees while they do Yoga. It aids in the stretching and, I'm sure, in the sweating. She said it had another name but she couldn't remember what it was.

Huh. Interesting. Never heard of it IN MY LIFE but interesting.

I came home that night and was browsing through blogs when I found this quote on a new blog (Camels and Chocolate) "I’m in my Bikram yoga class, the kind where the room is kept at sauna level, around 105 degrees, and reeks like moldy socks."

Seriously? Hot Yoga? Something I have NEVER HEARD ABOUT IN MY LIFE? And I hear about it twice in one day? Does this ever happen to you? I'm telling you, it happens to me all the time. I will hear about something and then immediately hear or read about it so quickly, it is just unbelievable.

Does this happen to you?

Friday, December 12, 2008

For Fun Friday, December 12, 2008

List of restaurants where kids can eat free in every state.

http://www.familyfriendlyamerica.com/kidseatfree.html AND
http://coupondivas.com/kids-eat-free/

Could these puppies BE any cuter?

http://www.ustream.tv/channel/shiba-inu-puppy-cam

I'm sure there is an easy mathematical reason for how this works. But I can't imagine what it is.

http://www.numberguess.com/

Thursday, December 11, 2008

Velveeta Revelations: Velveeta Shrimp Stroganoff Casserole

As I mentioned last week, Tom and I are not big fans of The Spicy. But there is something I neglected to tell you. Tom is also not a big fan of The Casserole. This goes contrary to everything my world is fundamentally based on because I think casseroles RULE THE WORLD so, I guess what I am trying to say is that, even though Tom is not a big fan of the casserole? I am. And since I am the cook...read more at my Lexington Herald Leader blog here.

Wednesday, December 10, 2008

Polka Dots

I love polka dots. Seriously. If it has polka dots, I will more than likely purchase it.

I think it's heredity. My mom likes polka dots too.

I came home from work the other night and it was cold and wet and yucky and thin, silky pajamas just weren't going to warm me up, so I pulled out a light blue polka dot pair lined with flannel. Admired them for a few minutes. Then put them on. And they made me mull over all the polka dot fashions I own. I have 2 3 5 7 polka dot dresses. Green, brown, red, black with white, white with black...why, yes. I have a white dress with black polka dots AND a black dress with white polka dots. What's your point?

I actually have two pairs of polka dot strappy sandals also. One black and white and one rose and white. I haven't worn the rose and white ones yet but when I find the perfect thing to wear them with, I will have them. This is what is known as a back-up fashion plan.

So, I put on my sweet polka dot pajamas. I tidied the kitchen. It was too late for a dinner that required a lot of work, plus I had my nails done ( TECHNICALLY the reason I was late) and they were PERFECT, so I made cheesy scrambled eggs and hot buttered toast. And we settled in to watch "Gilmore Girls". Season 3.

I curled up in my chair and admired my polka dots. And they were absolutely perfect.

Tuesday, December 9, 2008

Try It Tuesday: Broth In A Box

So, last week I wrote about the fabulous new innovation of squeezable sour cream which had, in reality, been around for AGES.

This week it's another new and innovative product which has also, apparently, been around for a while. But I have just discovered it. So, it's new to ME. And, really. Whose blog is this?

That's what I thought.

Chicken (or beef) broth IN A BOX. Who knew? The extreme fabulousness of this product is that, if you don't use the whole container, you can close the lid and stick it in the fridge to use later. No pouring out half a can of broth in a plastic container, then throwing it away a few weeks later when you discover it in the fridge all congealed and busily creating a colony of mold. Not that this EVER happens to me. I'm just saying.

So, broth in a box. Anyone tried it? Love it? Let me know.

Hopefully, you haven't finished all the Christmas shopping for that little girl or guy who likes to help you cook, because I have the PERFECT gift for you. Several publishers have sent me cookbooks for children and related items recently, so I put them together into a basket for you and one lucky mom will win this. Read more at my Herald-Leader blog here.

Monday, December 8, 2008

Now, Where Did I Leave My Glasses?

I spent approximately 5 minutes the other day at school looking for my glasses. I am CONSTANTLY laying them down somewhere while I am shelving books and I figured I must have put them on a book shelf somewhere. With over 8,000 books in my school library, I have a lot of shelves. I walked around, muttering to myself and then I realized.

I was holding them in my hand.

Sigh.

Friday, December 5, 2008

For Fun Friday, December 5, 2008

How good are you at definitions? I got 270.

http://www.eastoftheweb.com/games/DefineTime1.html

I am moving to Mars. I'm only 29 there.

http://www.exploratorium.edu/ronh/age/

Answer trivia questions and the site will donate free dog food to shelters. There is a link to a free cat food site as well.

http://freekibble.com/

Thursday, December 4, 2008

I Tried To Drown My Wal-Mart Bread

So, I bought some cheesy bread at Wal-Mart the other night. I had never tried it before but I had some ham planned for dinner and some red beans and rice and this cheesy bread just looked perfect. I came home with approximately 4,391 shopping bags and tossed the plastic bag of cheesy bread on the counter so I could warm it up in a few minutes.



Wait.

Let me set the scene for you. There was a sink full of water and a few dirty dishes it it. That had been sitting there since morning. What? Don't you dare JUDGE ME.

So. Cheesy bread on counter in plastic bag. Sink full of water and dirty dishes.

I turned around and the plastic bag of cheesy bread was FLOATING IN THE WATER. How it got there? I haven't a clue. I swear I set it on the counter. It somehow magically lifted itself from the counter and plunked itself in the water.

I fished it out, cursing and grumbling but not really worried because Hello? Plastic bag?

Well, I am here to tell you that those plastic bags that Wal-mart puts that cheesy bread in? They suck. Royally. Because my cheesy bread was WET. I managed to salvage a couple of pieces and stuck them in the oven because I was sure the heat would totally dry them out. I had to pitch a couple that were totally soggy.

They dried out fine. It was actually pretty good. Considering they had been dunked into dirty dishwater. Aside from having to pick off some soggy parts? It was PERFECT.

Uh. Tom?

This is TOTALLY not the cheesy bread we had for dinner the other night. This is some OTHER bread.

This is absolutely a FICTIONAL story. Just to entertain my blog readers.

Ha. Ha?


Tom and I are not big fans of the spicy. I have never been a big fan of the spicy and, as we get older, we are even less and less inclined to partake of the spicy. But when I found this recipe for Mexican Cheese Soup for the first week of the Velveeta Revelations, I thought it would be just fine...read more at my Herald-Leader blog here.

Wednesday, December 3, 2008

How To Make A Silk Purse From A Sow's Ear

My nemesis actually came in handy for table decorations for Sunday family night dinner a couple weeks ago.



Now, if only I can figure out what to do with the other 4 skillion leaves.

Tuesday, December 2, 2008

Try It Tuesday: Squeezable Sour Cream

I was SO EXCITED to share this new discovery with you all today. So innovative! So fabulous! So totally and completely brand-new to everyone ON THE PLANET!


And then I went to my trusty pal Google and found information about squeezable sour cream from 2005. Oh. Not so new.

WHATEVER.

It's new to me and maybe to you too. This is truly a great product. I stumbled on the Kroger brand recently and haven't noticed any other brands but, apparently, they are out there. I still buy the trusty plastic container since many recipes call for the whole container but the squeeze bottle is wonderful for baked potatoes. Anyone else heard of this? Been using it for approximately 3 years? If you were in a state of no squeezable sour cream like me, you might want to try it. Let me know what you think.

Be sure to check back on the next two Tuesdays before Christmas. I have fixed up baskets of books and prizes to give away. You will want to register! The two themes are cooking for kids and arts and crafts for kids.
As you can tell from my posts with book reviews and the fact that I am a children's librarian, I like books.
Read more at my Herald-Leader blog here.

Monday, December 1, 2008

Graceful As A Gazelle On The African Veldt

You know how, when you get home from work and you go to the bathroom to pee and your tights and pants are around your knees and you realize you don't want to mess with pulling them up because you need to get into your sleeping pants anyway, so you just pull up your panties and kind of waddle down the hall with your tights and pants tight around your knees and then you kind of slide a little on the hardwood floors because of the tights and then, because you are holding up your pants and tights you can't catch yourself, and you give yourself a good rap on your head against the wall?

You know how that happens?


Oh.

You never do that?

Yeah.

Me either.

Stumble It!

Friday, November 28, 2008

For Fun Friday November 28, 2008

Balloon animal makers are AMATEURS.

http://www.joemonster.org/art/8843/Nie_masz_co_na_siebie_wlozyc

Maybe we will actually see some of these news stories soon.

http://www.nytimes-se.com/

This one is for you, Sarah.

http://www.tankonempty.com/

Thursday, November 27, 2008

Enjoy Thanksgiving With Lots of Processed Cheese Product

I hope everyone is having a safe, relaxing and food-filled holiday with your family and friends. We are headed to our daughter Liz's house to eat a meal completely prepared by her, which I have to say? Is pretty fabulous. Now. About that processed cheese product...

Since today is a day when we will all be indulging and, just possibly, overindulging in food, I thought it was appropriate to write about food. Or something similar to food. Read more at my Herald-Leader blog here.

Wednesday, November 26, 2008

IKEA Ho's, Part #2

To truly understand the fabulousness and absolute complexity of shopping at IKEA, you should read Part #1 here.

So, let's see. Where were we? Oh, yes. Lunch. We had lunch at the IKEA cafeteria which was quite clean and that's the best thing I can say about it. Except you WILL need to brace yourself with food at this place and having food right in the same store is a plus. And the Swedish meatballs were very good. Just not very hot.

So, we ate. Then we headed downstairs with our HUGE yellow shopping bags which were hooked onto these trolley like things which were, I guess, supposed to make it easier to tote the HUGE yellow shopping bags and they would probably work very well if you were not like us because we had crammed those suckers full without any regard to whether we could actually manage to carry the item. Because? In IKEA, you don't go back. You only go forward. They even have arrows on the floors to remind you of this.

With a second wind and some pretty good meatballs under our belt, we (sigh of relief) located the immense shopping carts and each took one. Filled it partway with our treasures and then proceeded to fill it the rest of the way with EVEN MORE TREASURES. A rug, a set of shelves, more kitchen items, and this was before we even found the holiday section, which had fall AND Christmas items all on 40% off. We probably would have bought more but our carts were full and we could smell cinnamon rolls cooking in the FOOD AREA, which is a completely different shopping area and we NEEDED some cinnamon rolls because lunch? Was a memory at this point. So we checked out and the cashier asked if I wanted a bag? I looked at the (immense) pile of items on the belt and said "uh, Duh. Yeah." Only I was more polite. So she got out a huge BLUE bag which not remotely anything like the YELLOW bag. OK, I lie. It was EXACTLY like it only it was BLUE and it cost 59 cents. Yes, we had to pay for our shopping bags. But they are reusable and, at this point, what was 59 cents more? A mere drop in the shopping bucket, as it were. So I went wild and bought three.

Then, we dragged our heavily laden shopping carts...actually, I have to digress here. Digress? Like I would EVER digress. OK, I am the queen of digression. Anyway. Those IKEA shopping carts? Were da bomb. No, really. Those things could turn ON A DIME. If we had to spin in a complete circle because we DEFIED the rules of IKEA and went back? No problem. No sticking wheels on those things. Those Swedes really know how to construct a shopping cart.

So. The food area. It was actually kind of small and I can't tell a lot without revealing some Christmas presents but we did buy some of these, because we felt it was our DUTY to buy some Swedish meatballs in a Swedish store. Don't you agree?

Then, after smelling these for a good 15 minutes while we checked out, of course we had to buy some of these as well. I would like to say that we took some out




of the package in the car and ate them because that was TOTALLY our intent but then we got distracted by a factory outlet mall on our way home and a store that had 50% with an extra 30% off because they were going out of business and that's almost just like they were PAYING US to take those clothes home so of course we had to buy some. But only Christmas presents, of course. We would NEVER buy something for ourselves when we were supposed to be Christmas shopping. Of COURSE NOT.

Of course, we realized after we had crammed our bags neatly packed our bags in the car that we all had to pee. My niece, who is actually a GENIUS, had noticed the 15-minute loading dock so we parked there and ran in. And here's our reasoning. We had nothing to LOAD but we had something to UNLOAD. Get it? And my sister-in-law had neglected to buy cinnamon rolls and, of course, this was unacceptable. So we accomplished all this and then hit the road.

So. That's IKEA. I totally recommend it. And, if you can go with your sister-in-law NANCY (who really likes to see her name in print) and your niece, Jennifer who are fun and funny and will completely GO BACK with you in IKEA even though it is against the rules? That is the best trip in the world. And to all our other relatives who couldn't make it? Sorry you couldn't make it. We love you. But we would not have had room for your packages anyway.

We'll have to rent a van next time.

Stumble It!

Tuesday, November 25, 2008

Try It Tuesday: Clairol Root Touch-Up

Check back for "IKEA Ho's Part 2 tomorrow.



Welcome to "Try It Tuesday"! I think I'm going to give up on the Mr. Linky part of these posts but I will continue to write them since 1)I love to try new stuff and 2)I am EXTREMELY opinionated and like to write about new stuff. So just keep checking back on Tuesdays!

As you know, I have been making some changes in the area of THE HAIR just recently which have included changing the style and coloring it myself. One of the most frustrating things about coloring your hair is that it has the annoying tendency to grow which, within the space of a couple of weeks, causes you to have roots which are a noticeably different color from the rest of your hair.

Well, I am here to tell you - that is NO LONGER a problem. Clairol Root Touch-Up really works. I was hesitant to believe something that was not even the same brand as my hair color could somehow match my existing (fake) hair color, but it did. It was incredibly easy to use; you just comb/brush it in with the little applicator and rinse it off in 10-15 minutes. And your unsightly, different color roots are now the same fabulous color as the rest of your hair. I'm telling you, this stuff is great. Try it and let me know what you think.

Living in Lexington, Kentucky means hearing all about horses, all the time. You can't hardly open the newspaper or listen to the radio without hearing some news about horses. We have Keeneland, the Red Mile, the Horse Park and miles and miles of beautiful horse farms, surrounded by pristine white fences... Read more of my Herald-Leader post HERE.

Monday, November 24, 2008

We Were IKEA Virgins. And Now We Are IKEA Ho's.

You know how, when you read a lot of different bloggers, you start to hear about certain things you would otherwise know absolutely nothing about? Like IKEA. Soon after I started reading blogs, bloggers mentioned how they went to IKEA to get just the perfect set of shelves or a kitchen table that folds down to approximately the dimensions of a fairy's thimble or a toy for their kid that can be passed down to their great-great grandchild; it is JUST THAT well-made. And I wondered, what is this IKEA of which they speak?

Well, I am here to tell that I have been to the mountaintop, my friends. I have seen the light. I have...well, anyway. I have been to IKEA! When I found out that a friend had driven to an IKEA and that it was near Cincinnati, very close to us, I rounded up my peeps and we planned a road trip. It ended up being the same trio who went to the wedding, minus my baby brother who would much rather lie on the couch watching a football game than browse through Swedish furniture. Poor sap.

We got a late start while we printed out the directions and then made the obligatory run through Starbucks. I'm not a coffee fan (sigh of horror from all my readers who are, as we speak, deleting me from their Readers) but I did try the Hazelnut Hot Chocolate, which was sublime. I'm going to have to go back and try this Salted Caramel Hot Chocolate which I keep hearing about. This combination of flavors sounds strangely appealing.

After two hours, which felt like about 10 minutes because of the supremely amusing and entertaining company (No, I meant me - who did you THINK I meant?) we arrived in front of the monstrous IKEA store. Where we stayed for approximately 12 hours. Oh, I exaggerate. It was only 5 hours. But we only left because we could no longer stand without falling over. And we had no more room in our carts.

When we walked in, we paused to reconnoiter, much like zebras on the African veldt pause to get the lay of the land. But there were no lions here waiting to pounce. Only the other shoppers who flowed around us, slightly annoyed at our hesitation, heading to their known destinations, as we tried to make a plan. We decided against shopping carts (FAIL), figuring we could always come back if we needed them. Hint. There is NO GOING BACK in IKEA. Seriously. The elevators only go UP at the front of the store. There is even a sign that says this. Even though this is bending the laws of time and space, the elevators only go up. So. Even if you think you are just in IKEA to PICK UP A FEW THINGS? First of all, I laugh at you. Hilariously. Secondly. Get a cart anyway.

The top floor of IKEA is a showroom which is, just as it sounds, a place for them to show all the furniture and various accoutrements which go along with them in lovely little settings that make you want to clear your house out with a bulldozer and basically replace everything in it with one of those sets. Seriously. They are so beautiful, so coordinated, so organized. I wanted to grab every single pillow and throw and lamp and picture frame and place them just so in my house. And, oh. It would transform it to look JUST LIKE that IKEA showroom. Or this is how I see it. And I don't want to hear anything different.

Although some of the upholstered furniture is a trifle uncomfortable. But it looks great, dammit! And this chair actually IS comfortable. And the coolest thing? You can buy tons of different covers that just ZIP ON and completely change your room. So TOTALLY cool.

The first thing to go into my oversized yellow IKEA bag we had picked up in our extreme naivete, thinking that would hold our purchases, was a darling little blue and white plastic stool for my grandson to use in my bathroom. It was sturdy and absolutely perfect and
darling. Now, how much do you think that stool cost? $8? 12$? Nooooo! $3.50.
We were constantly amazed throughout the day at how IKEA can sell such quality merchandise at such low prices. We were not really in the market for furniture or items to organize your house, which is really what they specialize in. But we were very impressed with all they had, especially the way many of the items folded to take up a much smaller space.

We were more in the market for...well, pretty much anything else. Second item in bag. Toy trains. And can I just say? Thomas can pretty much go back to the Island of Sodor if this train set is as nice as it seems. Just ONE of those freakin' Thomas trains is about $20 and I didn't pay much more than that for an entire train set.

We bought pillows and Christmas decorations (all on 40% off now) and dishes (adult and child size) and a boxed gingerbread house to put together, and a darling oak Lazy Susan for my kitchen table that was $5.00 and candles and I can't even remember what else. But we had three packed grocery carts and we were ecstatic about all our purchases.

Somewhere in there, we had lunch at the in-store cafeteria which was just "EH" on the food but had an entire area of the cafeteria line reserved for items for children, so they get points for that. Juice boxes, carrot sticks, small containers of yogurt, all very impressive. They also have a huge play area for kids which is manned by several IKEA employees and looks like it would be a blast for kids. Finally, we figured out the system and went to the first floor, which is where you actually purchase most of the items they have on display. Although there is some purchasing on the showroom level as well. Just in case you don't get in QUITE enough purchasing time.

And this post is getting quite long, even for me, and I have a rabid snot monster that is trying to take over my head, so I'll finish this Wednesday. Stay tuned for stories about Swedish meatballs and where to park in case, in your excitement, you pack the car to leave and then realize you all three have to pee pretty badly.

Good times indeed.

Stumble It!

Friday, November 21, 2008

For Fun Friday November 21, 2008

Interesting to see which of the Bond girls have aged gracefully. Uh. Not many of them.

http://www.brandnoo.com/2008/11/12/bond-girls-now-and-then/

Muggle Quidditch. Yes. That's what I said.

http://www.bu.edu/today/node/7818

Totally awesome.

http://1000awesomethings.com/

Thursday, November 20, 2008

I Am Very Worried About Veronica

I got an email the other day. It was addressed to "Dearest Beloved" which I think is SO MOVING considering all this person has gone through.

it is my pleasure writing you afetr going through your profile, i believe that you will not betray the trust which i am going to lay on you, my name is veronica diata, 21 years old of age and the only survival of my late parent mr and mrs williams diata, my father was a very highly reputed and a coco machandise who operated in the capital of ivoire coast during his days, it is sad to say that he passed away mistirioursly in france during one of his business trip abroad, but his surden death was linked or rather suspected by one of his brothers who accompanied him on that trip ! but almighty god knows the truth!

I am SO HONORED that she does not think I will betray her trust. That she is going to lay on me. HONORED. Isn't that just so AWFUL that her father mistirioursly passed away? And how his surden death makes one of his brothers suspect. I am so GLAD that almighty god knows the truth.

my mother died when i was just eight years, my father took me soo special after the death of my mother, right now life has became terible for me after the death of my beloved father, i am in a sincere desire of your humble assistance, i want you to help me retreived out $ 7.5 millions dollars, (seven million five hundred united state dollars) which my father deposited in one prime security company here in abidjan cote d'ivoire before his dearth, i know it is very risk to confide in someone you never know before, but i have puted everything in the hand of almighty god because he is the one that made me to come in contact with you, and i realy believe that you will not betray my trust in you,

She will be one wealthy girl if she can get her hands on that $7.5 millions dollars that her dad stashed away. I think it is ADMIRABLE that she has puted everything in the hand of almighty god. And that she thinks I will not betray her trust.

i want you to get back to me as soon as you read this message so that i will gave you the details, may almighty god be with you and also your family, till i hear from you,

yours beloved

veronica diata






Veronica. You can count of me. I will be back in touch with you soon. Very soon. Just as soon as I figure out why someone who has $7.5 million dollars can't spell and doesn't know any grammar. Maybe you should invest some of that money in a good Language Arts class. Just as soon as someone helps you out with that situation.

Keep me updated.

Read my Herald-Leader post today: Of the top twenty shows in the Nielsen ratings recently, we watch...two*. I'm not sure what that says about our viewing habits...read more.

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Wednesday, November 19, 2008

Gone In 30 Seconds

We hate watching commercials. Back in the day before we discovered the miracle that is DVR, we used to mute the commercials. Sit in total silence, waiting for them to be over, just so we didn't have to be subjected to inane chatter about ridiculous products we would never purchase. Once we got our DVR though, we started taping recording virtually everything. We realized recently that we NEVER watch live TV anymore. The big advantage to this, of course, is that you can watch what you want whenever you want to watch it. But the other advantage is that you never have to watch another commercial for your whole, entire, wonderful life.

Well. You do have to skim through them as you fast forward.

At least, that's what we thought.

Until our lives were changed when we discovered the 30-second skip option.

Apparently, you can program your DVR remote (or your fabulously expensive touch-screen remote which does everything but rub your feet for you that I could never in a skillion years program) so that when you push a button, it will skip forward 30 seconds into the commercials. 30 seconds every time you push a button. You can literally ROCKET through the commercials and be back to your show.

Seriously.

Could life BE any better?

Well.

Now that I think about it, it WOULD be kind of nice to have a foot rub.


Here's the web site with the information we used. http://www.dslreports.com/forum/remark,15140353

Of course. That is the "royal" we. Meaning Tom did it. And I watched.

Stumble It!

Tuesday, November 18, 2008

Try It Tuesday: Fish Oil Capsules

Welcome to "Try It Tuesday"! If you have tried an interesting new product lately, please sign Mr. Linky below and link directly to your blog post. You might want to read the guidelines here.



I read recently in a magazine that fish oil capsules are good for you in many ways, including helping your complexion. I already knew that salmon and other cold water fish were good for you, so this only made sense and I immediately went and bought a bottle.I did think my complexion looked better but it wasn't until I read another article that suggested fish oil can actually help with allergies I realized that my fall seasonal allergies had been virtually non-existent. This was actually proven to me when I was in California for four days and never had time to take my capsules. The INSTANT I arrived back in Kentucky, my nose and eyes started pouring. It took a couple of days of being back on my fish oil regimen, but there is a huge difference. If you suffer from allergies, I absolutely recommend trying these. They help with a variety of other ailments as well.


You can sign up for a free sample, here.




Now. What have you bought recently that you want to recommend? Sign Mr. Linky and link to your blog post. Thanks for participating!




Check out my Herald-Leader blog post today: Nursery Rhymes

Monday, November 17, 2008

That Darn Farmer's Almanac

I have Vicks smeared on my lips, thick socks on my feet and I just had to go put another shirt on underneath the one I was wearing. It is COLD. Unusually cold for this time of year in Kentucky.

I have been hearing people saying for the last couple of weeks that we are supposed to have a bad winter this year. The wooly worms say so. The Farmer's Almanac says there will be above-normal snowfall throughout the Ohio Valley.

All I know for sure is that when I look out in the morning and see this? And it's not even Thanksgiving yet?


It makes me glad I have some snow boots in the closet.

Friday, November 14, 2008

For Fun Friday November 14, 2008

Someone has gone to a WHOLE lot of trouble with this food.

http://www.wambie.com/foto_br-272.html

Make beautiful sand designs. (Click on the box in the left corner. Don't sit there staring at it for 5 minutes trying to figure out what to do. Not that I did that. I'm just saying.)

http://thisissand.com/

I am not even going to tell you how many of these fashions I actually wore. What about you?

http://www.guidespot.com/guides/why_on_earth_did

Thursday, November 13, 2008

How To Be TOTALLY Frugal In Your Movie Viewing. Or Not.

I loved and adored the show "Sex And The City" so when they movie came out, I was one of the first in the many groups of women who queued up to pay $8.00 a ticket to see it. Loved it. Loved the way the story just continued on and loved the happy endings they all found.

So, when the movie came out on DVD, I wanted to watch it. But I thought it was kind of silly to BUY the DVD, I would just watch it on On Demand. So, I ordered it for $4.00 on Sunday, even though I knew I did not have time to watch the whole thing. That was OK, I would finish it the next day. I ordered it up at 4:00 in the afternoon. You have it to view for 24 hours. On the way home from school (at 4:00), I realized I would not be able to finish it because my 24 hours was up! Dang. I really wanted to see the first half. So, I settled in on the couch and ordered it up again. $4.00 again. It was wonderful. I really enjoyed it.

But I paid $16.00 to see it, in total.

I could have bought the DVD for not much more than that.

And, also? We have Netflix we pay for EVERY MONTH.

I could have watched it for FREE.



Perhaps I should start my own frugal web site.



Or perhaps not.


Check out my blog post today for the Herald-Leader: Better Than A Solo At Carnegie Hall

Wednesday, November 12, 2008

More About The Manverse

Apparently, I am a genius.

And I don't even know it.

When I wrote the post on Monday about that evil, evil tree, I casually threw out the term "manverse" to explain the universe my husband lives in - a universe that does not recognize the tracked in fall leaves. That term just popped into my head, flowed down my arm and slipped right into that post. I thought that was a word I had read somewhere. I did not realize that I had actually coined it MYSELF until someone made a comment and I searched in on the all-seeing, all-knowing Google. And it does NOT EXIST. At least. Not until now.

As of this moment, I have trademarked this word.

God. I am probably going to be a kazillionaire at ANY MOMENT.

So, I think it is high time we describe the manverse. And all its many, many complex rules. Here's a few. Add some more in your comments.

And I will just wait for the money to come ROLLING IN.

1. In the manverse, dishes automatically go from the table or counter or coffee table into the dishwasher. It's just LIKE MAGIC!

2. In the manverse, you never have to put your trash IN THE TRASH CAN. On top is quite sufficient.

3. In the manverse, steak is the ultimate meal. Basically, you can eat steak for every meal. With potatoes. Because potatoes are a staple in the manverse.

4. In the manverse, if a restaurant has any sort of gimmicks, including but not limited to a patio or any menu items you can't easily pronounce, it is a "chick restaurant". And you would prefer to never eat there. Because they probably don't have steak anyway.

5. In the manverse, you are not napping if you fall asleep on the couch while watching TV. That is just dozing or resting your eyes or pretty much anything except napping. Definitely not napping.

6. In the manverse, there are "chick flicks" and "bazooka flicks". Do I even need to say which one you prefer?

7. In the manverse, you can use the last of something in a box with absolutely no guilt. Because it will automatically be replaced, right?



What can you add to the list?




Now, in all fairness, I must add this. I received my lovely package of goodies for winning the blogging contest the other day and was explaining to Tom that the package was beauty products and he INSTANTLY responded "Baby, you don't need any beauty products. You have natural beauty." And my heart exploded with his niceness. Even though that was a total, out-and-out lie and I have no natural beauty at all. It's all product, baby. SERIOUS product.



Stumble It!

Tuesday, November 11, 2008

Try It Tuesday: Nail Polish Remover Pads


Do you like to shop? Do you like to try new stuff? Well, then write a blog post about something you have tried and sign up on Mr. Linky below to share with all of us. You might want to read the guidelines first.

I honestly thought everyone already knew about these nail polish cloths until I went on a trip with my sister-in-law and niece who had never heard of them. They are absolutely fabulous. They are individually packaged little pads that are saturated with nail polish remover. Just tear open a package and use the pad to take off your polish. They are especially great for travel. Pop a box in your makeup kit and you can take off your polish or repair it while you travel. The store brands seem to work just as well as the name brand sets.









Read my Herald-Leader post today: Big, Bigger and Biggest

Monday, November 10, 2008

My Nemesis

Superman has Lex Luthor.

Batman has the Joker.

And I?

I have this.



Oh, yes, it looks like a fabulous golden blast of color. A veritable fall ICON, as it were. But it is evil. EVIL, I tell you.

Well. Maybe not precisely EVIL. But in a few short days, this happens.


And, really, I should wait a couple of weeks and take a picture because the leaves will be piled up like a huge mass of golden coins. And, even though that sounds poetic. It isn't. If they stayed there, I would have no problem. But they don't. They blow. Right across the driveway and up against the door of the garage. In big piles. So when you open the garage, they blow in. They scatter everywhere. Then they are tracked in.

For the next six months.

Tom insists the leaves are no problem because "they blow away". In what universe is he living? Oh, yes. The manverse. In the manverse, you don't even notice the leaves that have been tracked in all over the frakin' house. For the next six months.

Last year, I finally broke down and gathered up big armfuls of leaves and stuffed them in the trash can. I was not about to break out the rake. But I may have to give in this year.

Because those leaves are blowing nowhere but straight into the garage.

Even if my husband can't even see them.

I hate that tree.

Even if it is kinda pretty.



Stumble It!

Thursday, November 6, 2008

THIS Is What Blogging Is All About

Yesterday, I wrote about my passionate love for Dairy Queen M & M Blizzards.


How I love them. The crunchy sweetness. The total fabulousness of eating them with the long red spoons.


Blogging is all about lots of different things for different people. I could wax all philosophical about the blog friends I have made, like Heather, how I can stay in constant contact with my lovely family, most of whom also maintain blogs, how wonderful it is to have my writing recognized and rewarded, and what a satisfying feeling it is to click "Publish Post".


All great things. Wonderful things.


But when you get a comment like this?


Natalie said...
My weakness is the Heath Blizzard ...with extra candy...Now I have to go get one.


And you learn...that it is possible to get EXTRA CANDY on your blizzard? That you just have to ASK FOR IT?


My friends. THAT is what blogging is all about.

Check out my Herald-Leader post today: The Fairy Tree House

Wednesday, November 5, 2008

Ode To A Dairy Queen M & M Blizzard

The winner of the caption contest for the photograph featured here is Cyndi B. with "Hey! They've got a puppy!" which is perfect because I can just imagine my grandson thinking that as he looks through that fence. Cyndi B., I need an email address so I can contact you about your prize. Thanks to everyone for participating!





Oh, Dairy Queen M & M Blizzard. I do love you so.

Dairy Queen M & M Blizzard, you are absolutely the best thing to have after a long day of work.

I love to pull up to the drive-thru, Dairy Queen M & M Blizzard, and order you. And eat you, Dairy Queen M & M Blizzard, with the long red spoons they only have at Dairy Queen.

I almost cheated on you today, Dairy Queen M & M Blizzard. I saw the sign advertising a Reese's Peanut Butter Cup Blizzard and I hesitated. But then I remembered you, Dairy Queen M & M Blizzard. The creamy ice cream. The crunchy M & M's swirled throughout. And I remained faithful, Dairy Queen M & M Blizzard.

I might just possibly have made one teeny, tiny mistake today, Dairy Queen M & M Blizzard. I was so hungry and tired that I decided I needed a LARGE Dairy Queen M & M Blizzard. And when she handed it to me and it was AS BIG AS MY HEAD, I wondered if I had made a mistake, Dairy Queen M & M Blizzard.

But then I took a spoonful and I realized that was just crazy thinking. You are always perfect, Dairy Queen M & M Blizzard.

Even when I am slightly queasy after I finish a Large Dairy Queen M & M Blizzard.

EVEN THEN, Dairy Queen M & M Blizzard. You are so worth it.

Monday, November 3, 2008

Try It Tuesday: Olay Total Effects Cleansing Cloths

OK. I'm adding a blog carnival TO a blog carnival. Is that innovative OR WHAT? But it fits the category of their carnival, so I'm going for it. You might want to click over to Blissfully Domestic to see all the other links as well, because there is some cool stuff there. Now. About my blog carnival.



Are you a shopper? Do you like to try new products? Well, then write a blog post about it and link below to share with all of us. You might want to read the guidelines first.

Do you HATE to wash your face every night? Yeah, me too. It is SUCH A PAIN. Well, not anymore!! No more going to bed with makeup on because you are too lazy to wash your face.

Uh. Not that I EVER did that.

Just go buy some of these wet cleansing cloths - they also have dry ones that you can take in the shower with you, wet and use, but I like these wet ones at bedtime. Just wipe your makeup off with them (even eye makeup), dry with a towel, put on your nightly lotion and you are DONE. The last time I had a makeover, the girl insisted that you had to rinse after you used these cloths so I went home and read the package carefully. Just as I thought, you DO NOT. I was too polite to insist but I should have because I was RIGHT. All you have to do is dry your face off. If you have a lot of makeup on, you might want to use two to make sure, but I normally just use one. They are seriously great!! Olay has several kinds, but I think the Total Effects with Anti-Aging Cleanser really makes my skin look better.


Now, sign Mr. Linky and make a link directly to your blog post, not just to your blog. Thanks for participating!






Check out my Herald-Leader post today at: I Might Have to Leave The House

Small Pleasures

I found this vase a while back and was waiting for just the right Fall day and the right flowers to put in it. Family dinner on Sunday was the right day. And I found the right flowers.

Friday, October 31, 2008

For Fun Friday October 31

For Fun Halloween Links

Tons of Pumpkin Carving Patterns

http://www.spookmaster.com/

Great Halloween Recipes

http://www.halloweenkitchen.com/

Online Halloween Games

http://www.cavernsofblood.com/

Ideas for Halloween Costumes

http://costumeideazone.com/

Thursday, October 30, 2008

Forget The Dancing Queen. I Am The BLOGGING Queen.

Life is FULL of little coincidences, isn't it? Strange and funny and sometimes wonderful. I put up my post yesterday which, out of all the HUNDREDS of posts I have written, specifically mentioned one.

Not an hour later, I got an email telling me that post had won a contest.And I get a $300 beauty package. Can you think of ANYONE who would like a $300 beauty package more than me? I didn't think so.

Check out my prize-winning post.

I am wearing my crown as I type.

OK. Not really. But I totally COULD.

Check out my Herald-Leader post today: The Vowel Family

Wednesday, October 29, 2008

The Grass Is Always Greener

My daughter, Lizzybee decided to have some family portraits made a few days ago and my lovely and talented niece, who is working on becoming a professional photographer, (and, in my opinion, already IS) took the pictures for them. They turned out quite wonderful. Every picture is an absolute gem.

However. There is one candid shot that is quite, quite fabulous. It is so fabulous that I have decided to share it with the world because this is one photograph that needs A CAPTION. And it is up to you to come up with that caption. Just tell me what you think it should be in the comments and I will look them over on Saturday morning when I roll out of bed (God, don't ya love weekends) and choose a winner. Oh, and a prize? Why, yes, I have a prize for you.

Bloggers have been talking about Etsy for so long, I finally decided to give it a look. My thought was that I would beg someone to provide me with a photo frame to give away for the photo contest. See how I did that? Photo? Photo FRAME? You can see why my writing is world-renowned. Or it will be some day. Possibly.

Anyway. Since I was aware that October was Breast Cancer Awareness Month and had a little scare myself a while back, when I saw Danielle's Etsy store with this Breast Cancer Awareness photo frame, I was instantly intrigued. Not only are these frames truly lovely, she is donating all her profits from any sales to the Susan G. Komen For The Cure. Who just happened to be one of my sorority sisters. Yes. Life is full of coincidences, isn't it?

I contacted Danielle to see if she would possibly consider donating a frame to give away and she replied instantly. Of course she would. So, if you don't win, maybe you could click over to her shop and buy another frame. Maybe one of those Breast Cancer Awareness frames. Or maybe a couple of frames. Thanks. I appreciate it. And thanks, Danielle.

Now the picture. I think my grandson was a little distracted. What do you think? Send me your caption. And thanks for participating.

Tuesday, October 28, 2008

Try It Tuesday: Honey Maid Delight Bars

If you are a shopper and want to participate in Try It Tuesday, just read the guidelines and then sign Mr. Linky!

I am always looking for little cookies or candies that are low in calories but also delicious. This combination is difficult to find, but I managed when I stumbled on these Honey Maid Delight Bars at the grocery the other day.


They come in Cheesecake and Chocolate and I really thought I would prefer the chocolate because..well...who doesn't? But the chocolate was not really that flavorful. The cheesecake is definitely the better of the two. The cheesecake was creamy and really tasted like cheesecake. The chocolate just could not compare. Each bar is individually wrapped and is only 100 calories, so if you can eat just one, that's not bad. If you eat more than that, it's not so good. So eat only one.

Now. What have you tried lately? Write a post about it and link it below. Thanks for participating!





Check out my Herald-Leader post today: Ooh Ooh That Smell!

Monday, October 27, 2008

I May Need To Join A Wedding Recovery Program

I just got up. I went to bed at 11. That means I slept approximately 12 hours. Although I really went to bed at only 8 California time! But, as my niece Jennifer says, you can't have it both ways. You are either on California time or you are on Kentucky time.

So.

I guess I slept 12 hours.

In my defense, I was TOTALLY scrunched between two guys on our flight from LA to Houston and, even though they were very pleasant, I spent the entire flight with my hands in my lap and my shoulders smushed together. I didn't think I was every going to be able to spread my arms wide again. And this could be very important, especially if I ever have to conduct an orchestra.

It could happen.

Then, on the flight from Houston to Louisville, I sat down and nobody seemed to be assigned the seat beside me. YES. I could stretch out, I could get comfortable, I could relax...then this guy came up from the back of the plane and asked if I was waiting for a companion, gesturing to the empty seat beside me.

Oh, if only I had moved over into that seat as I had contemplated. If only I could think faster. If only I was a better liar. Instead I said "Uh. No." And he sat down, saying something about getting away from the laughing, shrieking girls in the back of the plane. Since that is probably PRECISELY what people thought of me, my niece and my sister-in-law on the trip down, I couldn't argue. So he sat. In a rather fragrant wave of unwashed clothes and old cigarette smoke. At least it wasn't body odor. Could have been worse.

So I don't know if it was the smell of my companion, who spent most of the trip hunched forward with his hood over his head or the pollen that hovers over Kentucky in the fall which was apparently just waiting to be sucked into the plane's ventilation system, but I suddenly had an extremely runny nose. Luckily, the stewardess handed over several napkins because trying to find my kleenex in my bag which was stowed under the seat in front of me would have required a better contortionist than me. Although I did manage to dig out the Junior Mints. A girl has priorities, after all.

So I stumbled in the house, took some allergy medicine and fell into bed. And slept like the proverbial log. But we are already planning our next trip to California. To visit the Grand Canyon.

And NOT decorate the entire place with ivy and twinkly lights. Although I may have to fight my sister-in-law on that.

Sunday, October 26, 2008

The Wedding Is At 4:00. Uh. I Mean 4:15. Or Maybe 4:30.

The wedding day dawned bright and clear and warm but who cares about that - we needed to get to IHOP to pick up our breakfast order. My family has their priorities in order. And food is number one. We started making plans for this breakfast while we were still eating our first breakfast at IHOP the day before because, to a Southerner, the planning of the next meal is vitally important. So we instantly came up with our orders and mine was chocolate chip pancakes. Because Hello? Chocolate AND pancakes? Could life BE any better? I didn't think so. We were ready. My sister's life partner and her friends had a little difficulty with the concept of getting excited about a meal that is not actually taking place for 24 hours. This is simply not a problem for us.We like to plan ahead. That is why, in Kentucky, when you attend a wedding, you arrive on time. Actually, you arrive a few minutes before the correct time so you will be sure to get a seat before the wedding begins.

Apparently, this is not quite di rigeur in California. At 4:00 when the wedding was to begin, there were five people standing around and chatting. We were expecting 50. This was not good. I went back to reassure the brides that there were a few people here, the others will be here soon, even though I was not remotely sure that would happen. I didn't want them to worry. I was sure people would arrive soon. SURELY. And they finally did. Sauntered in at 4:15 and 4:30 and finally we had everyone in my seats, thanks to my niece Jennifer who was elected to the wedding planner position by a unanimous vote and did an absolutely bang-up job. Three type-A women could not All be in charge. Although we tried. But we were a great team.

But well before this, the decorations were finished, tables were covered with clean white tablecloths and burgundy toppers then decorated with sand and seashells in various, lovely containers. Ivy and twinkly white lights covered every conceivable surface. The DJ arrived, the caterer began bringing in pans of heavenly smelling food, we were all fabulously dressed in our sparkly dresses and strappy shoes and then. Then. No cake. Someone was picking it up. It's on the way. Be here soon. And we needed to start the wedding. With no cake. We had the ceremony and I cried, it was so lovely and the cake finally appeared. With directions on how to put it together. Luckily, our caterer was obligingly enough to help us put it together although that is when we found out we had put it together upsidedown.

Looked fine to me. Tasted fine too.

The rest of the wedding was quite fabulous. There was dancing and drinking and laughing and hugging and more dancing. And nobody really cared that the cake was late. They were much more concerned that we not run out of white wine. And we didn't.

So a very good time was had by all. Then we had to take down all the ivy and twinkly lights. And maybe Nancy is ready to say we should have used less ivy now that we had to take it all down.

But maybe not. She was pretty happy with her ivy and lights. Even tearing them all down didn't dampen her enthusiasm. Actually, it would take a LOT to dampen Nancy's enthusiasm.

And now back to Kentucky.

Maybe we will see someone famous at the airport. That could TOTALLY happen. We will keep you updated.

Saturday, October 25, 2008

Late Night Report From The West Coast

1. Never, ever assign three opinionated, type-A personality women to decorate for your wedding.

2. If you are one of those woman, just STEP BACK, y'all, STEP BACK and let the others put up as much ivy and twinkly white lights as they want.

3. Contrary to my niece and sister-in-law's opinions, it is, indeed, theoretically possible to have too much ivy and twinkly white lights. I might possibly have had to wrest the box of ivy out of their hands before they started decorating the house next door.

4. No matter how much people tell you to FORGET what time it is back in Kentucky because you are in California now, you can't help thinking that even though it's only 9 at night, it's actually MIDNIGHT in Kentucky and you are EXHAUSTED.

5. IHOP has these new fruit crepes that are TO DIE FOR. Try the black cherry. Seriously. These things are the food OF THE GODS. We had a late breakfast, so we availed ourselves of the Continental breakfast at the hotel ealier. Then we had some snacks during the wedding preparations and then went to a huge and quite fabulous Italian dinner with gelato for dessert. But then we realized on the way back to the hotel that we had never actually eaten lunch today. Score! We will probably lose all kind of weight this weekend.

6. I think we are going to actually find it difficult to eat all the snack food we purchased for our rooms. We might just possibly have gotten a teeny,tiny bit carried away at 7-11. Although if for some unforseen reason, our plane is delayed on the runway for hours, which has TOTALLY happened, we will be in high cotton. We can eat for days. And barter for important items like foot rubs with the rest of our food.

7. So we are ready for the wedding. The tables and chairs are set up, the dance floor is put together, the lights and ivy are draping the altar and it looks quite, quite lovely. We are smugly proud of ourselves.

And I would like to write a little more about the happy couple who appear to be honestly in love and their friends and family who have come enjoy this wonderful time in their life with them.

But I can't keep my eyeyeyeyeyeyeyes open because I am so sleeeeeeep....what was I saying? Oh,yeah, I wanted to say how much I love my family and appreciate them. They are fun and generous and kind and absolutely the salt of the earth. I am so very LUCKY to have them.

Even though they desperately want to hang that last box of ivy I hid in the closet.

Man. I hope I don't forget to light the pool candles. It's my only job. Wish me luck.