Friday, December 21, 2007

For Fun Friday

I'm going to take a little blogging break for the holidays. There are books to be read, movies to be watched, and shoes to be purchased at the after Christmas sales. I'll be back on Wednesday, January 2 when I go back to work. Have a joyous, relaxing holiday with your family and friends. And thanks for reading.

Another fun Friday.

Did you elf yourself last Friday? OK, how about scrooging yourself this time.


http://www.scroogeyourself.com/

What year do you belong in? I was 1981.

http://www.blogthings.com/whatyeardoyoubelonginquiz/

Here's a video clip that is an excerpt from a Philco-Ford production entitled "Year 1999" that projected what technology might be like in 1999. I love the 1960's guy shaking his head about how much his wife has spent. Strangely enough, that happens pretty often at our house.



Thursday, December 20, 2007

Home Late

Tom got home from work late the other night. This is extremely rare. He is always on time and sometimes even comes home early to finish up his work on the computer. But he was late. Normally, when he is late, he will call me. No call. It got later and later. I blogged for a while, then settled into a comfy chair and read. When I looked up, it was quite late. He had never called.


Having a good imagination is a blessing when you are reading a good book. The characters come alive in your head and move around, going through their lives in vividly visualized settings. It's a curse when you start to imagine what could have happened to your loved ones. I tried to read but couldn't concentrate. I decided I would call him at 6:00 if he was not home. It got darker and colder.


Not outside.


In the house.


It was quiet. And dark. And cold. I turned on more lamps and checked the heat. It wasn't really dark and cold. It just felt that way. Being alone would feel this way. Not having him around would feel this way. If he never came home it would feel this way.


And then I heard the garage door open. I felt a little silly when he told me he had stopped at the grocery for a couple of things. And then had to go to another store to get just what he wanted.


I tried to tell him how strange it would be if he never came home again. How lonely. How dark and cold. He hugged me and loved me up a little, then said "You would manage. You are a strong woman." And hopped in the shower.


He doesn't really understand. I would manage. I am a strong woman. But he takes away the dark. He takes away the cold. He...makes me stronger.

Wednesday, December 19, 2007

Book Fair Frenzy

I had a Book Fair in the library last week. We had free gift wrapping for any presents the kids wanted to purchase.

On Monday, I LOVE the Book Fair. By Friday, I HATE the Book Fair.

I answered the question "How much is this?" approximately 8,391 times.

And, finally. I ran across the hall to the office with the library full of very loud students and parent volunteers trying to manage them, to yell "I need a tape dispenser refill. We have an emergency gift wrapping situation!"

And that's how last week went.

Tuesday, December 18, 2007

I Probably Watch Way Too Much TV. Probably.

So, have you seen "Samantha Who?" It's a really cute and quirky new show with Christina Applegate, who I think is just hilarious and lovable. I never watched "Married with Children" but I loved her in "Jesse". Yeah, I bet you never heard of the show or watched it. We were probably the only people in the United States watching it. Might just POSSIBLY be the reason it went off the air. But Diego. Oh, my God, he was cute. Anyway. Back to Samantha.


Tom was really not remotely interested in watching this show so he conveniently forgot to put it on our DVR to record. I almost said tape, but I know it's really record. It's just hard to remember after years of TAPING stuff on the VCR that we now RECORD on the DVR. And could we have just one more acronym to remember, please? Anyway. Again.


I wanted to see it, he had not RECORDED it so I went to my trusty computer and, for the very first time, I streamed a TV show and watched it.


It was. Fabulous. Tom was watching something else - probably that stupid "Survivor" which I gave up on a long time ago. How many times can you watch people get a rash from wearing their bathing suit for 6,591 hours or eat a bug? I have reached my limit, let me tell you. So, I perched in the chair with a cushion on my lap (that laptop can burn the fire out of your legs when it has been on a while), put the laptop on the cushion, plugged in my headphones and streamed the lost episodes. We were both lost in our electronic worlds. So romantic. We did share an occasional laugh. Well. I laughed and he looked over like I was crazy. I guess when someone is sitting there in silence with headphones on and then bursts out into laughter, it might look like they are slightly mentally deficient.


But the point of this post. Whaaaat? Of course I have a point. I found a list of all the ways you can watch TV shows now and it's mind boggling. I'm going to have to go down this list and check out some of the other shows I have missed because Mr. I-am-in-control-of-the-DVR didn't want to watch that show. Just because I don't actually understand how to use the remote we have. Or how to use the DVR. Or, if I'm being totally honest. How to turn everything on.


And finally. Here's the link to the ways to watch TV. Without actually having a TV.


http://lifehacker.com/software/hack-attack/six-ways-to-catch-your-favorite-tv-shows-308538.php

Monday, December 17, 2007

December 17 Christmas Tour of Homes

Christmas Tour of Homes Boomama is having a Christmas tour of homes, so check them all out today. Here's my contribution.

This is my Christmas village. I have been collecting the pieces for years. Some of the houses are from Avon, purchased back when the kids were small. I love the little people, the ice skating rink and merry-go-round. Although Liz constantly tells me the people are proportionally huge and would never fit in the houses. Oh, she's a big ole Scrooge. I still love it. And I'm leaving it to her in my will so she has to put it up EVERY SINGLE CHRISTMAS. Even if the people's big heads won't fit through the doors. So there.

Oh, yeah. And Merry Christmas!



Friday, December 14, 2007

For Fun Friday

Enjoy these tidbits. And have a great weekend.


Ever wanted to be an elf? Did you ever want a family member to be an elf? Well. Here ya go! (Thanks
to Don't Feed Him Crackers for this one.)

http://www.elfyourself.com/

Here's a site where you can come up with 43 things you want to change in your life and share those goals with others (if you want). It's pretty interesting to see what you have in common with others - like visiting Europe. I could only come up with 7, so I'll have to think about this some more. If you choose, the site will remind you about your goals and check your progress.

http://www.43things.com/

Check out this gorgeous Christmas card from Ashland University.

http://ecard.ashland.edu/index.php?ecardYear=2004adm

OK. How well do you know the states? I did POORLY on this test. How did you do?

http://www.blogthings.com/howwelldoyouknowyourstatesquiz/

Thursday, December 13, 2007

Invisible or Able to Fly?

So, I was listening to the radio the other day and the commentators came on with a discussion. They were asking about which super power you would want to have - to be invisible or to be able to fly? So, I got to thinking about it.

I finally decided I wouldn't want either one. They both have their drawbacks.

I can't imagine how being invisible would help you. I guess if you were a criminal, you could walk in places and steal anything you want and nobody could stop you. Although. Unless the stuff became invisible, it would look like it was floating out of the store or the bank and that wouldn't work. But maybe when you touch stuff, it becomes invisible also. Let's say it does. This is our game; we can make up the rules. That still wouldn't work for me because I'm not a criminal. I can't imagine how I would spend stolen money or wear stolen jewelry. So, that's out. I certainly would not want be invisible and hear what people say about me. I would prefer to think that my friends and family think I am absolutely perfect. To hear any different wouldn't help anyone involved. I suppose I could offer to help the government and spy on somebody but I'm such a weenie, I don't think I would be very good at that. I don't think there is anything I can think of that I would want to see or hear or do invisible that I couldn't see or hear or do when I was visible. So, that's out.

Now, being able to fly. I am really afraid of heights, so I can't imagine just lifting off the ground and flying more than a few feet above it. And that wouldn't work too well. Just consider how many obstacles would be in my way. OK, just change the rules again and assume I am not afraid of heights. WHY would I want to fly? Airplanes work just fine for getting me where I want to go and, really, flying myself places is just impractical. Where, for example, would I put all the shoes I have to take with me?? And that's not even considering all my clothes, make-up, jewelry, etc. Just not practical. And I really don't want to fly OVER places I want to visit, I want to walk around and see them. I just can't see the benefit.

In fact, I can't think of any super power I would want to have. All are impractical and have serious drawbacks. And most super heroes are not really very happy.

What do you think? Is there a super power you would like to have?

Wednesday, December 12, 2007

Crank It Up, Soulja Boy.

So, I was talking to a friend of mine the other day. A friend who does not work with kids. And I mentioned "Soulja Boy". "Soldier Boy?" she replied. "Who is Soldier Boy?" I was...taken aback. I thought EVERYONE knew about Soulja Boy. The song. The dance. The phenomenon. "It's not Soldier Boy," I corrected. "It's Soulja Boy. It's...this dance thing." And I referred her to youtube.










It's funny how, when you are surrounded by people who are familiar with something, you take for granted that everyone in the world knows all about it. When my kids were little, I thought everyone knew about He-man figures and Care Bears. In reality, only those of us with small children knew those toys even existed.

I first found out about Soulja Boy when two of my kindergarten students were singing and dancing while waiting for the day care van after school one day. Just this week, some of the tech kids were demonstrating it for Brian, our wonderful university student helper. As I watched them dancing and demonstrating the perfect "Superman" move, I thought about how, in a couple of years, when I am not working in a school anymore and am happily retired, I won't know about things like Soulja Boy anymore.


And it made me just a tiny bit...sad.

Tuesday, December 11, 2007

Classic Is ALMOST The Same As Classy

One of my favorite bloggers, Big Mama, has started a Fashion Friday post on her blog. I always enjoy reading them even though I don't always agree with her advice and personally can't imagine asking someone for fashion advice. I know fashion. I know what to wear and what looks good. I wouldn't say I am on the cutting edge of fashion; in fact, my daughter and nieces might even venture to say that I fell off the cutting edge long ago, back when I continued to wear tapered leg jeans because I know they make my legs look longer and slimmer even though they are completely out of style. I still wear them.

I don't believe in trends because I know as soon as I buy several of that trendy something they will go out of style in about 30 seconds. Plus, everything trendy does not look good on everyone. Some people have a hard time grasping this concept. I wear classic clothes, like jeans and a turtleneck with a blazer. I have been wearing this same style for about 30 years now. It goes in and out of style and I just keep wearing it. It's a classic look that looks good on me and, in reality, never goes out of style.

All this is a prelude to the fact that I have to go to a wedding this weekend. This, of course, required a new outfit. During the course of shopping for this outfit, I came to the conclusion, once again, that it is extremely difficult to find attractive, well-fitting, stylish clothing that does not require you to sell your first unborn child as a down payment if you are over 50 and slightly overweight. It is possible but it requires a great deal of time and just a little common sense.

At this point, I wanted to show you a picture of a twenty-something wearing a mini skirt and boots to illustrate my point that these are not the kind of clothes we should be buying and wearing (and having that said, I'm sure there are some women my age who look fabulous in these outfits), but I got sidetracked when I found that you can actually GET THROWN OFF A PLANE IF YOUR MINISKIRT IS TOO SHORT and also? That you can totally make a miniskirt out of duct tape. The Internet is truly a wondrous purveyor of information, isn't it? Anyway.

I had a vision of what I wanted to buy. Not like a Joan of Arc vision, but a mental image of the outfit. I do this often, unfortunately, and then of course I can't find just the exact same thing from my vision. I have often sighed in many a department store and wished I could twitch my nose like Samantha and just MAKE the outfit I have in my mind. But alas. That only works on late night TV.

What I wanted was something like this.



Only not exactly. My dress would have been looser, redder and my boots would have been low heeled and black. But I couldn't find anything that even remotely approached this vision in any store and, after several unfortunate online shopping tries which involved clothes which revealed back rolls exposed for just anyone to see, I don't buy many clothes online. So, I erased the vision and began again. I tried on approximately 6,581 dresses before I remembered that there are very, very, VERY few dresses made anymore that look good on anyone. Look at the next woman you see wearing a dress and you will see what I mean. What was she thinking?


Finally, I decided that I might be more successful if I switched to pants and that's when I found this beautiful, cream colored pants suit that fit perfectly, except the pants are too long. Who do they make these pants for? Giants? Really. I am 5'7" and they are too long for me? Anyway, hemming them is a small price to pay for the fabulousness of these pants. I was trying them on tonight and Tom (unprompted) said they made my butt look good. Is there higher praise? I think not.

Here it is.

Then, I had to find a top. I mulled over a jewel bright turtleneck in emerald green or sapphire blue, but then I had a vision of a gold and cream striped sweater. The gold would be kind of sparkly to dress up the outfit and the cream would match the suit perfectly. I sighed when I realized that, once again, I had a vision that I would not be able to find.


And then I saw this.


I couldn't believe it. It was perfect, fit great - and was on sale! And sparkly. It was sparkly.


See how great it looks with the jacket?



And pearls?




So, I'm good to go. I have cream colored strappy shoes and a cute, matching shoulder bag with gold buckles. And I will look good. Classic. AND classy.

Unless we have a blizzard. Which probably won't happen. Probably. Because I do not have cream colored boots. Dammit.

Monday, December 10, 2007

A Christmas Poem For My Dad

A Different Kind of Christmas Poem

The embers glowed softly, and in their dim light,
I gazed round the room and I cherished the sight.
My wife was asleep, her head on my chest,
My daughter beside me, angelic in rest.


Outside the snow fell, a blanket of white,
Transforming the yard to a winter delight.
The sparkling lights in the tree I believe,
Completed the magic that was Christmas Eve.



My eyelids were heavy, my breathing was deep,
Secure and surrounded by love I would sleep.
In perfect contentment, or so it would seem,
So I slumbered, perhaps I started to dream.



The sound wasn't loud, and it wasn't too near,
But I opened my eyes when it tickled my ear.
Perhaps just a cough, I didn't quite know,
Then the sure sound of footsteps outside in the snow.



My soul gave a tremble, I struggled to hear,
And I crept to the door just to see who was near.
Standing out in the cold and the dark of the night,
A lone figure stood, his face weary and tight.



A soldier, I puzzled, some twenty years old,
Perhaps a Marine, huddled here in the cold.
Alone in the dark, he looked up and smiled,
Standing watch over me, and my wife and my child.



"What are you doing?" I asked without fear,
"Come in this moment, it's freezing out here!
Put down your pack; brush the snow from your sleeve,
You should be at home on a cold Christmas Eve!"



For barely a moment I saw his eyes shift,
Away from the cold and the snow blown in drifts,
To the window that danced with a warm fire's light.
Then he sighed and he said "Its really all right,



"I'm out here by choice. I'm here every night."
"It's my duty to stand at the front of the line,
That separates you from the darkest of times.
No one had to ask or beg or implore me,



I'm proud to stand here like my fathers before me.
My Gramps died at Pearl on a day in December,
Then he sighed, "That's a Christmas Gram always remembers."
My dad stood his watch in the jungles of Nam,



And now it is my turn and so, here I am.
I've not seen my own son in more than a while,
But my wife sends me pictures; he's sure got her smile.
Then he bent and he carefully pulled from his bag,



The red, white, and blue... an American flag.
I can live through the cold and the being alone,
Away from my family, my house and my home.
I can stand at my post through the rain and the sleet,



I can sleep in a foxhole with little to eat.
I can carry the weight of killing another,
Or lay down my life with my sister and brother.
Who stand at the front against any and all,



To ensure for all time that this flag will not fall."
"So go back inside," he said, "harbor no fright,
Your family is waiting and I'll be all right."
"But isn't there something I can do, at the least,"



"Give you money," I asked, "or prepare you a feast?"
"It seems all too little for all that you've done,
For being away from your wife and your son.
"Then his eye welled a tear that held no regret,



"Just tell us you love us, and never forget."
"To fight for our rights back at home while we're gone,
To stand your own watch, no matter how long.
For when we come home, either standing or dead,



To know you remember we fought and we bled,
Is payment enough, and with that we will trust,
That we mattered to you as you mattered to us."



LCDR Jeff Giles, SC, USN
30th Naval Construction Regiment
OIC, Logistics Cell OneAl Taqqadum, Iraq



I do not support the war. But I support every single soldier who is over there fighting it for us.

Friday, December 7, 2007

For Fun Friday

Another Friday. And aren't they wonderful? There's just something about knowing you don't have to work the next day that makes the day and evening so relaxing. Have a wonderful weekend!

Watch a beautiful Christmas light show put on by a fire station. Just click on the picture to get to their web site and watch the shows.



Take this quiz to find out what holiday you are. I am Thanksgiving. I'm not sure what that says about how I like to eat. And I'm kind of afraid to find out.


http://www.blogthings.com/whatholidayareyouquiz



Remember that game, Simon? Could you duplicate the flashing lights? OK, let's just see how good you were.


http://www.gizdic.com/freegames/gamespages/simonsays.htm


And, finally. My grandson loves books and has many of them at his home and at our house. But lots of kids are not that fortunate. If you feel like doing a little something special for some of those kids who don't have books like our kids do, click on this link and donate a little something. For every dollar you donate from now until December 31, Simon and Schuster Children's Publishing will also donate a new book - up to a million books. This was my feel-good activity this holiday.


http://www.firstbook.org/site/c.lwKYJ8NVJvF/b.674095/k.CC09/Home.htm

Thursday, December 6, 2007

We So Classy

Tom just walked through the family room upstairs where Mark was watching "Die Hard". The original. A classic interpretation of man vs....something or other. And stuff blows up. The epitome of cool.

And he said "Oooooh...a classic!" And sat down to watch it with him.

Now some people might think a classic movie is something like "Out of Africa" or some of that crap.

We know better.

We know great entertainment when we see it.

The new "Die Hard" sequel just came out on DVD. We were one of the first to buy it.

Now, that's classic.



And. Lest you think that we be heathens 'round here and ain't capable of using them big words. I just put my blog through this Blog Readability Test.

Maybe I should use more words like "epitome". So I can at least get into high school.


cash advance What is your blog's reading level?

Wednesday, December 5, 2007

Pretzels And French Fries.

Note: This blog post was written before I went on Weight Watchers with Tom a few weeks ago. I would NEVER eat a mall pretzel now. At least. Not while Tom was with me.



So, I went to the mall the other day. I needed a new watch battery, some bath gel and lotion and had to exchange some sheets. Yes, my life is overwhelmingly exciting. I can see that you are jealous. While I was there, I noticed the pretzel place. I was a little peckish and I had not eaten one of those mall pretzels in months. It may very well have been years. So I bought one with one of those little things of fake cheddar cheese to dip it in. I was excited. Check above for my exciting life. I remembered them as being SO GOOD. Kind of sweet. Great with the cheese.


Y'all?


It was awful. It was freshly prepared and hot but it was very, very salty and tasted a whole lot like that thin cardboard they put into men's shirts to display them. Not that I have actually tasted that. But it tasted like that cardboard LOOKS.


I was so disappointed. And, as I dropped the remainder of the pretzel in the trash and headed for my little red truck to drive home, I mulled over how things change for the worse.


When I was in high school, I had a fish dinner from Long John Silver's for the first time. I had died and gone to heaven. Seafood heaven. People who EAT the seafood, not seafood heaven. I'm sure that heaven for seafood would be much wetter. And there would be no hooks. Anyway. That fish was light, flaky, delicious, melt in your mouth. And I always got the extra crumbs 'cause they were so good. And healthy. Drips of deep fried batter. Yummy. But now when I get the EXACT SAME DINNER, it's kind of...greasy. Kind of tasteless. And the fries? Paugh. It's just not as good.


And, speaking of french fries? What happened to McDonald's french fries? Remember how good they used to be when we were younger? You could go to the drive-though and JUST get an order of french fries, they were so good. Golden, crunchy, hot, delicious. Now. Yuck. They don't salt them, for one thing, which I'm sure is healthier, but they just don't taste as good.


Yeah, I know what you're thinking. It's ME who changed, not the food. That may be part of it. But the food has changed too. And I walked to school in butt-deep snow five miles both way. In my BARE FEET.


Here's what's really ironic. I'm making a sarcastic point with the last paragraph (you got it, right?) but I went to high school in New Jersey. We actually DID go to school in butt-deep snow. A blizzard? Ha! Send those school buses out! The kids will be just fine. And do you know what was in style back then? MINI-SKIRTS. And God forbid you wore warm tights or leggins or sweat pants you could slip off once you got to school. That would not be COOL. So, butt-deep snow. Bare legs. Frozen ass. But I was cool.





Anyway. I may have gotten a little off topic there. What were we talking about? Oh, yeah. Food. I don't think it's just me. It's the food. What do you think?

Tuesday, December 4, 2007

Thar She Blows!

One more story about Puerto Vallarata and I'm done. Really. Unless I think of something else. But that probably won't happen. Probably.



The last morning at the resort, we went to have a leisurely breakfast before the final packing and organizing. As we were scarfing down the last homemade omelets and fresh baked goodies (how I wish I had one of those chocolate croissants at this very moment) when Tom said "Hey, look. There's two whales out there." And pointed out by the rocks at the end of the beach. I was not completely surprised since I had actually seen a couple of whales the day before while lolling by the pool. (Lolling is actually the perfect word here since, after a long weekend of gorging ourselves, we probably resembled whales ourselves.)


They were far out to sea but were clearly discernible as they surfaced and swam by and we watched them as we finished our breakfast.

Let me be clear that both of us clearly saw two whales surfacing and blowing foamy white water over their back. We studied them as we ate, marveling that nobody else seemed to notice them. They were so close to shore! We enjoyed watching them, their fins breaking the water as they dove up and down.

After breakfast, we decided to take a closer look, so I ran up the room for the binoculars. We walked out on the patio, close to where the whales were located.

And then we stopped. And looked at each other. The two whales we had been so avidly watching for the last ten minutes? Were two big rocks out in the water.

No wonder nobody else was excited.

At least it wasn't just me.

Monday, December 3, 2007

Godzilla Becomes Nacho Libre

Luckily, we were not absolutely the worst team at the competition. Another robot fell to pieces as they tried to make him perform. At least, Nacho Libre didn't fall apart on the job. Oh, did I forget to tell you? Godzilla became Nacho Libre after the kids noticed the similarities.




Separated at birth?





When we got to the event, we immediately noticed that Nacho Libre was going to have some stiff competition.

Like this.





And this. Nacho Libre didn't exactly resemble either of these robots.



We had programmed him to complete one task - move the dam across the river. But the students figured out pretty quickly that Nacho's one ability - move forward very quickly and attempt to destroy the village - also gave him the ability to do some other tasks. Our quick-thinking robot wrangler managed to force Nacho to do three tasks before he made a getaway and attempted to use the power lines to take down the city.




So, we didn't lose. In fact, we won!

OK, we didn't technically win the entire competition. And we didn't win for best programmers. Or best in robot design. But we won for MOST INNOVATIVE ROBOT.

I guess they had never seen a robot quite like Nacho Libre.

And probably never will again.

Friday, November 30, 2007

Programming Godzilla

Perhaps I forgot to mention to you that, in addition to being an elementary school librarian, I am also a Robotics Engineer?
What?

I could TOTALLY be a Robotics Engineer. If only it weren't for that pesky math.

Anyway.

I may not be a Robotics Engineer, but I have a group of students who will probably be running the world sometime in the near future. In a moment of bravado and, probably, stupidity, I signed my technology students up to participate in the First Lego League Robotics Competition. In short order, we received several boxes of various sizes which I was way too intimidated to even think about opening. Then, in another short order, we received our student from the local university to help us out. Not even in a box. He just strolled in. Brian is very, very smart. He is also tall, rather handsome and gentle and kind with the students. Several of my fifth grade girls are in love with him. After seeing how he works with the kids, I'm a little in love with him myself.

My technology students can take a pile of Legos which looks like this.


And make them into something that looks like this.






If I had been in charge of putting them together? They would still look like Photo #1. Luckily, all I had to do was walk around and say things like "Oh, you can't get that together? Well, try this piece? Oh, that goes there. Hmmm. I see. OK. Never mind. You are doing a great job!" And then beat a hasty, yet dignified retreat by pretending to help one of the other groups.


We (OK, THEY) had put together most of the components of our village this week, so we decided to try some basic programming with our robot. Our plans went a little...awry.



Our robot.
Our robot, who was merely supposed to move forward, touch a building and then move back, instead became entangled in the power lines, mowed over the trees and one of the cars and partially destroyed the house.


Instead of trying to stop him, my students were rolling on the floor, snorting with laughter. And Brian? Mature, helpful, smart, cute Brian? Was laughing right along with them.


At that point, we christened our robot Godzilla. Since. You know. He was DESTROYING the city.



Even with these cool, new arms, Godzilla still insisted on pushing the dam into the house, instead of over the river. I don't think we are going to win.





Unless there is a prize for destroying the village, rather than completing an assigned task.


Because then. We could TOTALLY win.

Thursday, November 29, 2007

They Flew In Perfect Synchronization

There is a flock of crows that lives near where I work. In the early morning and early, dusky evening they fly together over the highway, dipping and wheeling in perfect harmony, like a long-rehearsed ballet.



There are hundreds of them. They fly very close together. But they never touch. When one turns, they all turn in perfect rhythm. It's quite beautiful to watch.



I was watching them last night as I sat in traffic. The sky was pinky navy as the sun went down and they flew overhead, back and forth over the cars lined up. Why can't people work in harmony like that? Why do we have to run into and run over the people around us?



And then I wondered. Because this is how my brain jumps around like a caged, rabid squirrel. Why aren't they dropping loads of bird poo on all the cars? Are they too busy concentrating on flying, on not letting their wing feathers brush against the bird flying inches away from them?



And in the middle of all this philosophical musing, I heard a splat. Then a sploosh. Then a big splonk on my windshield.



And I realized. Even in the midst of their concentration of their perfectly choreographed flights.



They still have time to poo on our cars.



And. I'm done with philosophy for now.

Wednesday, November 28, 2007

I Should Have Had a Premonition This Movie Would Suck

So, I finally got around to watching "Premonition" with Sandra Bullock. I was SO excited about watching it. This is just my kind of movie as you, my faithful blog readers, know. I love time travel stories and stories about alternate realities and the complications that can occur, so I was all jacked up about seeing it. I popped some popcorn, curled up on the couch in my stretchy velour jogging pants (what? I might jog at some point.) and ordered it up on On Demand(that doesn't sound right but it WAS on On Demand) and settled in for some entertainment.


SPOILER SPOILER SPOILER SPOILER SPOILER SPOILER SPOILER SPOILER


Can you BELIEVE that ending?? After she experiences the horror of going through her husband's death SEVERAL (I forget how many; it got a little confusing) times and then finds out he was getting ready to have an affair and realizes how much he means to her and goes to save him. After he has decided he really loves her after all and is not going to have an affair and she runs out of the house in her robe and slippers to intercept him so he won't get decapitated by a runaway truck (And can I say here...eeeeewwwww), and she can SEE HIM in his car and THEY ARE TALKING on their cell phones and she is telling him to get out of the car, get out of the car, get out of the car (And WHY can't he open the door - there is nothing wrong with the car) and then. Right in front of her, the truck plows into his car, apparently decapitating him and, even then, even then, I had hope that he had thrown himself down on the seat to miss decapitation but no. The car explodes into a ball of flame. But even then. Yes, I am an incurable romantic who loves happy endings. Even then I thought maybe he would come staggering around the truck with soot on his face and his shirt torn where he had thrown himself from the car JUST IN THE NICK OF TIME. But no. He's toast. Decapitated toast, apparently.


And that's just not right. OK, they show her pregnant in the end like he gave her a little parting gift before he was decapitated and blown up, but that's just not enough for me. She went through too much. She tried too hard. It was just unbelievable and horrible and JUST NOT RIGHT for him to be blown up. And decapitated. Decapitated. Perhaps I am saying that too may times. But. He was.


I'm changing the ending in my head as we speak. He is staggering out from behind the truck and they hug, right there in the road and he picks her up he is hugging her so hard and one of her slippers falls off in the road and he says "Thank God, Thank God, I didn't think I was going to get to tell you how much I love you. I love you, I love you" and he is kissing her face all over and they are both crying.

Now isn't that a MUCH better ending? Seriously.

Tuesday, November 27, 2007

Memeology Meme. And Isn't THAT Hard To Say.

OK. A new meme.

FOODOLOGY
Q. What is your salad dressing choice? A. Blue Cheese


Q. What is your favorite Fast Food Restaurant? A. Chick Fil-A

Q. What is your favorite sit down restaurant? A. Ramsey's

Q. On average, what size tip do you leave at a restaurant? A. 15% usually

Q. What food could you eat for two weeks and not get sick of? A. Chocolate

Q. What is your favorite type of gum? A. Bubble Gum


TECHNOLOGY

Q. What is your wallpaper on your computer? A. Pictures of my grandson


Q. How many televisions are in your house? A. 3



BIOLOGY
Q. What’s your best feature? A. My teeth/smile


Q. Have you ever had anything removed from your body? A. Just my children!


Q. Which of your five senses do you think is keenest? A. Eyesight


Q. When was the last time you had a cavity? A. A couple years


Q. What is the heaviest thing you’ve lifted? A. A suitcase


Q. Have you ever been knocked unconscious? A. No



BULLSHITOLOGY

Q. If it were possible would you want to know the day you are going to die? A. Absolutely not. Would anyone??


Q. Is love for real? A. Of course


Q. If you would change your first name what would you change it to? A. Katie


Q. What colour do you think looks best on you? A. Jewel bright colors


Q. Have you ever swallowed a non-food item by mistake? A. Yes. Bugs.


Q. Have you ever saved someone’s life? A. No


Q. Has someone ever saved yours? A. No



DAREOLOGY

Q. Would you walk naked for a half a mile down a public street for $100,000? A. Maybe...



Q. Would you kiss a member of the same sex for $100? A. Sure


Q. Would you allow one of your little fingers to be cut off for $200,000? A. No!

Q. Would you never blog again for $50,000.00? A. No. Maybe a million...


Q. Would you pose nude in a magazine for $250,000.00? A. Maybe...if tasteful


Q. Would you drink an entire bottle of hot sauce for $1,000? A. No


Q. Would you, without fear of punishment take a human life for $1,000,000.00? A. Never. God would punish me!


Q. Would you give up watching television for a year for $25,000.00? A. No.


Q. Give up myspace for $30,000.00? A. Absolutely. Never use it!



DUMBOLOGY
Q. What is in your left pocket? A. Nothing - I have on a robe.



Q. Is Napoleon Dynamite actually a good movie? A. Haven't seen it.


Q. Do you have hardwood floors or carpet in your house? A. Both.


Q. Do you sit or stand in the shower? A. Stand. Who sits in the shower??


Q. Could you live with roommates? A. If I had to.


Q. How many pairs of flip-flops do you own? A. Depends on your definition. I have a lot of slides.


Q. Last time you had a run-in with the cops? A. Uh...never?


Q. What do you want to be when you grow up? A. A world traveler and super grandma.



LASTOLOGY

Q. Last friend you talked to? A. Nancy, by email. Vicki and Barb over dinner.

Q. Last person you called? A. My son.


RANDOMOLOGY

Q. First place you went this morning? A. To school.

Q. What can you not wait to do? A. Right now? Watch Private Practice on our DVR.

Q. What’s the last movie you saw? A. The Fountain.

Q. Are you a friendly person? A. Yes. But shy.


I tag everyone who is reading! Show us what ya got.

Monday, November 26, 2007

Advice On How to Have a GREAT Holiday Weekend

How to have a GREAT Holiday:

1. Have your sewer drain back up and flood the finished basement.

2. Call Stanley Steemer to come clean the carpet. They promise to extract the water and THEN clean the carpet.

3. Apparently, this information does not transfer from the person who dispatches the cleaners to the actual cleaners themselves.

4. They clean the carpet.

5. We look at each other, shrug our shoulders and assume they know what they are doing.

6. We are SUPREMELY STUPID. They do not know what they are doing.

7. The carpet begins to smell like mold in about 24 hours.

8. Call Stanley Steemer again.

9. They come. These guys (new guys) recommend to Tom (I am not home) that we install new carpeting and replace all the drywall. Basically just redo the basement. They can't do anything about it. They are blameless. They are clueless. They are brainless.

10. Tom calls me on my cell phone.

11. Suggests I go into "bitch mode" with Stanley Steemer. To whom we paid $270 to fix the problem. Which is not fixed.

12. I do so. Dude. I am seriously good at going into "bitch mode."

13. The manager of Stanley Steemer comes to our house (on the evening before Thanksgiving. They DO get points for this.) and pulls up the carpet and leaves a dehumidifier.

14. Which creates an airflow of approximately 105 degrees.

15. No, really.

16. That's what he told us.

17. And we still will have to replace the carpet pad.

18. I'm not sure if we would have had to do that if they had extracted the water first.

19. And I can't think about that.

20. I'm too mesmerized by this dehumidifier the size of a jet engine we have in our basement. Until Saturday. Notice the toilet paper fluttering in the 105 degree breeze.


Monday update. The jet engine is now gone. And our basement smells lovely. Now we just have to pay someone to replace the pad and tack our carpet back down. The joy never ends, does it?

Friday, November 23, 2007

For Fun Friday

It's heeeeeeere. If you are planning on doing some Chrismakwanzaahanuka shopping on this lovely Black Friday, you might want to check out Amazon. They are having hourly deals and it looks like they might have some good bargains. If you enter through this link, I will earn some pennies for whatever you spend. Someone's gotta shop. Might as well be you. http://www.amazon.com/b/?node=384082011&tag=iknwhyocafiit-20

And now.

Who thinks up these shows in Japan? Seriously.

Human Tetris

http://video.yahoo.com/video/play?vid=1366142&fr=&cache=1


How pure are you? I was PRETTY DARN PURE. And enough about that.

http://www.blogthings.com/howpureareyouquiz/



You may not be able to walk on the moon, but you can at least send your NAME into space.

http://www.kysat.com/Dynamic/FlyMyName/Signup.cfm



How may clicks will it take you to get these numbers in order? I'm not saying how many it took me. OK, I couldn't actually do it. But I could, given enough time. Like a century.


http://www.gizdic.com/freegames/gamespages/puzzle.htm

Thursday, November 22, 2007

The Perfect Meal

And again. If you are planning on doing some Chrismakwanzaahanuka shopping on Black Friday, you might want to check out Amazon. They are having hourly deals and it looks like they might have some good bargains. If you enter through this link, I will earn some pennies for whatever you spend. Someone's gotta shop. Might as well be you.

http://www.amazon.com/b/?node=384082011&tag=iknwhyocafiit-20






And now, the actual post. Truly.


I was reading this book the other night that was talking about the perfect meal. The absolutely perfect meal. And it asked what was YOUR perfect meal? I thought of several. Shrimp burgers on the beach in Pensacola. A local fish speciality in Isla Mujeres where Tom and I sat at a table inches from the beach. A chocolate souffle to die for on one of our cruises. Oh. I guess that's not technically a meal. Well, it totally should be!

And then I remembered. It was not the perfect meal. But it was with the perfect person.

Tom and I had gone downtown for the Fourth of July parade. We bought hot dogs from a vendor and sat down on the curb to eat them. They were not very good. Overcooked. The buns were dry. The sidewalk was hot and dirty and my butt was hurting. In between bites, I was complaining. Loudly. Annoyingly. Just then, a small dog rushed up and peed on the curb right by where we were sitting. We both looked at each other with our hot dogs halfway to our mouths.

And unhesitatingly Tom said "Well, the food may not be good but the AMBIANCE is great."

I laughed hysterically.

And remembered once again why I LOVE this man.


I hope everyone is having a perfect meal on this special day when we give thanks for our many, many blessings.

So, what was your perfect meal?

Wednesday, November 21, 2007

But Does It Suck Like A Dyson?

We have a Rainbow vacuum cleaner. We bought it a looooong time ago when somehow, some way, we got roped into a home demonstration and were so enthralled with a vacuum that sucked the dust and crap into water! that you could throw away! that we had to immediately buy it. Even though we were TECHNICALLY not the sort of people at that point who could AFFORD an expensive vacuum cleaner, you can pretty much buy ANYTHING if you can make a minimal payment every month. We could easily make a minimal payment every month.

I love my Rainbow. It's FABULOUS. But. It is a little...unwieldy. A little...bulky. A little...pain in the butt. OK, it's a pain in the butt. You have to get it out, put it together, empty the water, put it back together and store it away.
Now. You know how much I love shoes. You know. But. I think I have a new love. Here it is. Yes, my pet. Yes, my sweetie. Let me just stroke you a little bit. Right there.

It's a Dyson. I have heard of Dyson vacuum cleaners. I have seen commercials on TV and in magazines. But I didn't realize they FOLD UP to to store. And suck up all the dust and crap by centrifugal force and pick up all the pollen and tiny, minute particles in the air and filter them out so the air it expels is cleaner than what it took in. And that it's a WHOLE LOT CHEAPER than the Rainbow. And that you can order them from a website that is super easy to use and that you can even order a handheld Dyson and all the different attachments and you get some free stuff when you do so...wait. I think I'm hyperventilating.

Seriously. Check it out. Although this is the one I put on my Christmas list, they have many different models - even some that are hand-held. And their site is very easy to manuver around. And, yes. I'm getting paid for this post. But I'm truly, honestly excited about the possibility of a vacuum that I don't have to put together to use. That...one more time...FOLDS UP.



Dyson genuine accessories

Google Reader. I HEART You.

If you are planning on doing some Chrismakwanzaahanuka shopping on Black Friday, you might want to check out Amazon. They are having hourly deals and it looks like they might have some good bargains. If you enter through this link, I will earn some pennies for whatever you spend. Think new shoes. New shoes for Mrs. Who. Doesn't it warm your heart?


http://www.amazon.com/b/?node=384082011&tag=iknwhyocafiit-20



And now. The ACTUAL daily post. Not a sneaky advertisement I tried to slip in on you.



Liz has been talking about Google Reader for months. How fabulous it is. How easy it is to use. To read your blogs that way. But I have been resistant. She is my BABY GIRL. My CHILD. Of course, she is married, has a child of her own, has a fabulous job and is, I guess I would have to say, TECHNICALLY a grown-up. But still.

I LIKE reading my blogs. I'm like a little old lady with her crocheting, chuckling quietly as I page through the many, many blogs, ignoring all those young whippersnappers trying to give me advice. Damn it, I KNOW how to crochet. I mean blog. You know I mean blog.

Well. Hee.


Actually.

After my niece blogged about using Google Reader, I thought, Geez these girls are really pretty knowledgeable, maybe, just possibly, I should give this a shot. Even though I LOVE going to the blogs and I LOVE seeing the designs and the banners and the pictures and it's just easy to click on my links, what's the big deal, but OH, MY GOD.

Google Reader is the bomb. THE BOMB. And maybe that expression is outdated but I still like it, so WHATEVER.

You just put in your blogs and it keeps track of them and tells you when they are updated and you don't have to spend, like, an hour clicking on all of them.

Huh. What do you know.

You CAN teach an old dog new tricks.

Tuesday, November 20, 2007

Horking Haikus

With thanks to Bub and Pie and her post on haikus.



Haiku: A Japanese poem composed of three unrhymed lines of five, seven, and five syllables.



Kids don't upchuck in
the library very much
we mostly read books.



But barf does happen
sometimes to my great chagrin
and this was that time.



One kid blew cookies
while working on her robot
made out of Legos.



That wasn't too bad
It's been YEARS since a kid heaved
on rug, table, chairs.



And then the next day
Another sick kid upchuck
lovely episode.



What IS this hurling
epidemic sweeping through
my clean library?



I just hope vomit
does not happen again (please?)
I can't take it thrice.



And, too, did you know?
There are 1592
synonyms for barf?



Yeah. You and me both.
Hopefully, I won't have to
use them once again.

Monday, November 19, 2007

Hey, E COLI! Come On In!

You know what is just the best possible, most relaxing, most wonderful Sunday afternoon EVAH?


1. Put some clothes in the washer and plan to go upstairs to relax with your new "People" magazine.

2. Notice a little water on the floor around the washer. Tell husband. Husband reassures you that's it probably just a little overflow from the drain. It will BE FINE.

3. Have husband get on the intercom and yell that "We have a problem down here!"

4. Go downstairs to find water everywhere. Stinky water. Water soaking into the edge of the carpet from the laundry room, the bathroom and the furnace room.

5. Throw all the old towels on the spreading water. Call Roto-Rooter. Discuss whether the homeowners insurance will cover this after the deductible.


6. Write a check for $250.00 to Roto-Rooter. After they tell you that there are some roots in the sewer line and it will probably get worse. In fact, you should just replace the whole sewer line.


7. Mull over the fact that you could probably go back to Puerto Vallarta for what a new sewer line will cost.


8. Never actually get to read your "People" magazine. Too busy mopping and scouring the floors so your downstairs does not smell like a barn. Full of horses.











But you know what is the most interesting thing about this whole experience? That when I went downstairs and saw this stinking, horrible mess, I did not think "Oh, how horrible!" but instead thought "This will make a great blog post."


And so it did.

Friday, November 16, 2007

For Fun Friday

See if you can get a good picture of Superman. I got pretty good at this!


http://hk.promo.yahoo.com/movie/superman/Stop_Press_Game/

OK, this one is not FUN so much as SCARY. Check it out.
Tuck in Your Shirt!



Do you know which presidential candidate you support? I am so liberal, the guy I ended up with will never be president. See how you do.

http://minnesota.publicradio.org/projects/ongoing/select_a_candidate/poll.php?race_id=13


How's your vocabulary? Check it out - and donate rice at the same time!


http://www.freerice.com/index.php


And finally. If you have a cat. If you have EVER had a cat. You MUST watch this video.


http://video.yahoo.com/video/play?vid=1322921&cache=1


Thursday, November 15, 2007

Dear Gabby

Note found written on notebook paper with purple marker by the bus lane at my elementary school.


Dear Gabby,

I and Cherelle are NOT your friend forever and tomorrow dont try to be our friend.

P.S. Dont ever call us again cause we are going to hang up on you.

P.S.S. Also dont call us ever ever again not even the next day and the day after that and not for 5 years!!

P.S.S.S. We dont like you.





Email written to Cherelle 25 years later:


Cherelle!

How great to hear from you. How long has it been? I guess close to 25 years since we were in elementary school. Right before my dad was transferred to New York and we moved here. You are right - that WAS a lucky move for me. I met my husband who is the president of a global company. And what a coincidence that you are applying for a job with his company!

What a great job too! The salary is incredible and you get to travel the world. I had no idea that you had been interviewing with one of our vice-presidents and the position had been narrowed down to two candidates. You are so qualified for this position!

In response to your question, I would be HAPPY to talk to my husband about hiring you. In fact, I really JUST CAN HARDLY WAIT until he gets home to talk to him about it. You can count on it.


Love and Kisses,

Gabby


P.S. I have scanned and attached to this message a note you sent me in elementary school.


P.S.S. You should probably count on not getting the job. Also don't call me ever ever again not even the next day and the day after that and not for 5 years!! Or 50.


P.S.S.S. And. I don't like you.