Pretzels And French Fries.

Note: This blog post was written before I went on Weight Watchers with Tom a few weeks ago. I would NEVER eat a mall pretzel now. At least. Not while Tom was with me.



So, I went to the mall the other day. I needed a new watch battery, some bath gel and lotion and had to exchange some sheets. Yes, my life is overwhelmingly exciting. I can see that you are jealous. While I was there, I noticed the pretzel place. I was a little peckish and I had not eaten one of those mall pretzels in months. It may very well have been years. So I bought one with one of those little things of fake cheddar cheese to dip it in. I was excited. Check above for my exciting life. I remembered them as being SO GOOD. Kind of sweet. Great with the cheese.


Y'all?


It was awful. It was freshly prepared and hot but it was very, very salty and tasted a whole lot like that thin cardboard they put into men's shirts to display them. Not that I have actually tasted that. But it tasted like that cardboard LOOKS.


I was so disappointed. And, as I dropped the remainder of the pretzel in the trash and headed for my little red truck to drive home, I mulled over how things change for the worse.


When I was in high school, I had a fish dinner from Long John Silver's for the first time. I had died and gone to heaven. Seafood heaven. People who EAT the seafood, not seafood heaven. I'm sure that heaven for seafood would be much wetter. And there would be no hooks. Anyway. That fish was light, flaky, delicious, melt in your mouth. And I always got the extra crumbs 'cause they were so good. And healthy. Drips of deep fried batter. Yummy. But now when I get the EXACT SAME DINNER, it's kind of...greasy. Kind of tasteless. And the fries? Paugh. It's just not as good.


And, speaking of french fries? What happened to McDonald's french fries? Remember how good they used to be when we were younger? You could go to the drive-though and JUST get an order of french fries, they were so good. Golden, crunchy, hot, delicious. Now. Yuck. They don't salt them, for one thing, which I'm sure is healthier, but they just don't taste as good.


Yeah, I know what you're thinking. It's ME who changed, not the food. That may be part of it. But the food has changed too. And I walked to school in butt-deep snow five miles both way. In my BARE FEET.


Here's what's really ironic. I'm making a sarcastic point with the last paragraph (you got it, right?) but I went to high school in New Jersey. We actually DID go to school in butt-deep snow. A blizzard? Ha! Send those school buses out! The kids will be just fine. And do you know what was in style back then? MINI-SKIRTS. And God forbid you wore warm tights or leggins or sweat pants you could slip off once you got to school. That would not be COOL. So, butt-deep snow. Bare legs. Frozen ass. But I was cool.





Anyway. I may have gotten a little off topic there. What were we talking about? Oh, yeah. Food. I don't think it's just me. It's the food. What do you think?