Thursday, April 30, 2009

For Fun Friday: May 8, 2009

Darn Those Swine!

So I was all set to tell you all about how now that I am a travel blogger, or a "journalist" as a PR person actually called me in an email the other day and seriously?

I was TAKEN ABACK because journalist? Is that what I am now? I guess it is. Hmm. Anyway, apparently, just as I suspected when I took on this gig, I am going to be offered some free travel and the first trip was offered and I jumped at the chance and IMMEDIATELY got my plane ticket and guess where I am supposed to go in two months? Read the rest of this post at my Herald-Leader blog here.

Tuesday, April 28, 2009

Try It Tuesday: Arnold Sandwich Thins


I don't know about you, but I really like a cheeseburger every now and then, even when I am trying to diet back down to bikini size. But even a small, plain McDonald's cheeseburger is 7 points and it's really not very filling. I have switched over to Morning Star veggie burgers or Boca soy burgers without any problem, because I think they are both delicious.

But a good tasting, low-point bun was hard to find. Until now. I just found these Arnold Sandwich Thins and they are quite fabulous! They are really thin, unlike a normal bun and they taste delicious. The best thing is that they are only 1 point!! That means you can have a burger and bun for only 3 points or even 2 points if you use low-fat turkey. Good deal. Try them and let me know what you think.

Monday, April 27, 2009

I TOTALLY Look 32

Years ago, when we were in Pensacola on vacation, staying at my grandmother's house and I was a young and ignorant skinny person who had no sense about the weather, my mom had to loan me a pair of elastic waist pants to wear around the house because I had only bought teeny-tiny shorts and teeny-tiny tops. Which would not fit around my thigh at this particular stage in my life.

It was at that point when I swore silently that I would NEVER wear pants with an elastic waist. Just like I would NEVER color my hair but would go gray gracefully as my mother did.

So. The other day I bought some darling capris (in every color, OF COURSE) that have an ELASTIC WAIST. In my defense, they are that perfectly fabulous polyester that looks like polished cotton and I am SO TIRED of wrinkly shorts and capris after I wear them once and they had matching tops that totally cover the elastic and I haven't tucked in a shirt since approximately 1984 but still. ELASTIC WAIST. And need we discuss the hair coloring? I thought not.

So there I sat during story hour with my students with my ELASTIC WAIST pants and my totally FAKE hair color and I was telling them that I was retiring and one of my little kindergarten students asked how old I was. When I told her I was 56, she said "Oh." Then she studied my face very carefully and said "You only look 32".

32!

So. I'm wearing ELASTIC WAIST pants and my hair color is TOTALLY FAKE but a kindergartner thinks I look 32.

Hey.

I'll take it.

Friday, April 24, 2009

For Fun Friday April 24

Instead of links today, I have some incredible pictures my friend Sallye sent me. Check them out.






































Thursday, April 23, 2009

And I Don't Wanna Shave My Head

My hair is at the awkward, in-between growing out stage. You know that stage I mean. It’s just long enough to hang on my neck but not QUITE long enough to pull back in a ponytail. The front pieces which used to be bangs are chunky and annoying and I always dry them too long so they get kind of fuzzy and I have a terrible time styling the back of my hair. It always flips to the side I dried it from because I find it impossible to style it straight back.

The good thing about long hair is that you can do lots of things with it.

The bad thing about long hair is that you have to do something with it. Every. Single. Day.

I’m not ready to give up on it yet. If I can just get it a few inches longer, I’ll be able to do more with it. A few more inches and I can put it into a pony tail or bun while it is still damp and not have to blow it dry with a round brush, sectioning it off and carefully blowing until it is smooth and perfect and fixing it and messing with it and all this at 5:30 in the morning.

This morning, it was not working with me so I pulled it back on one side with two barrettes. I can’t decide if it’s OK to wear barrettes when you are 56 or not. I hope so.

Because this morning it was either barrettes.

Or shave my head.

Wednesday, April 22, 2009

Precious Boy

Precious, precious boy.

You were born too early and you were not much bigger than your daddy’s hand but I worried more about your mommy then because she was my baby and I knew only her.

I didn’t know you yet.

I know you now.

I know the sweet and warm curve of your neck.


I know that mischevious smirk.


I know your infectious, bubbly giggling.


I know your intense concentration.


I know your love of books.


And I know you love to lick the beater.




I know you now, my precious, precious boy.

What I don't know.

Is how I ever lived without you.

Tuesday, April 21, 2009

Try It Tuesday: Weight Watcher Bagels


I really like a bagel with cream cheese for a quick and easy breakfast and for quite a while I was fooling myself that the huge bagel I was eating was low in calories because it was whole grain. Uh. No.

So, I decided to try the Weight Watcher bagels and was pleasantly surprised. They are small, but soft, chewy and delicious. And only 2 Weight Watcher points. Now, I just have to get used to low-fat cream cheese!

Try them and let me know what you think.

Monday, April 20, 2009

I Lost My Pants. But Not In A Bad Way.

It’s supposed to be spring around here but it’s still winter and I think I need to get some of my winter clothes back out only.

I can’t exactly find them.

It was warm over spring break and, gleefully thinking that warm weather would last and I would be wearing capris! and sandals! and spring dresses!, I carefully packed my sweaters in two plastic bins but my other clothes bins had been used to fill with baby toys when I cleaned out the boy’s room so I put all my pants in a white plastic garbage bag. I folded them neatly and tucked them in the bag, thinking I would put them in a plastic bin whenever I had a chance to buy one and now. Now that I need them again, I can’t find them. I’ve looked in my closets and in the basement storeroom and everywhere I can think of and I’m wearing one pair of black and one pair of navy that I kept out on the OFF CHANCE that we might have a cold day or two and looking longingly at my bright new capris and spring tops hanging in my closet with the tags dangling.

I have one pair of bright green socks in my drawer because I put off washing all my socks, thinking I would not need them again! It was warm and springtime! I would wear only sandals from here on!

So I guess I’ll have to wash some socks tonight or I’ll be wearing bright green socks with my black pants. Or possibly my navy ones. Since those are the only pants I can find.

I’m afraid I may have accidentally donated my pants to Goodwill. Since they were in a white plastic garbage bag. And that’s normally what I put things in to donate them.

So, at least until it warms up enough for bare legs and sandals and spring dresses and bright capris, I’ll be wearing black and navy pants. On alternating days.

And checking the weather channel. Often.

Update. I found my pants. In a closet. I have a vague recollection of thinking if I left them in that bag, I might accidentally donate them to Goodwill, so I hung them up. I apparently have NO MEMORY.

Friday, April 17, 2009

Thursday, April 16, 2009

Why You Should Not Go To The Grocery Store With Dirty Hair

So, Tom was a bit under the weather a week ago. We spent that weekend in and out of the Urgent Treatment Center and the emergency room and, let me just tell you that you DO NOT want to go to either place on a Sunday afternoon.

I was of the opinion that nobody would be in either place because really? Sunday afternoon? Wouldn't everyone be at home? FAIL. Apparently, EVERYONE was at the Urgent Treatment Center and the emergency room because they were packed. Including a group of individuals who had apparently been in some sort of gang war and just couldn't let it go because they had to share the details with all their friends and relatives on their cell phones. In very loud voices. Read more at my Herald-Leader blog here.

Wednesday, April 15, 2009

DON'T Try It Wednesday

I think I may have to start another feature, similar to "Try It Tuesday" which I could call something like "For God's SAKE, Don't Try It". And the logo could be a girl leaning over a toilet to show the extreme UNPLEASANTNESS of the product.

Or maybe not.

But I do want to warn you about the new Kellogg's Fiber Plus Chewey Bar with Antioxidants. Yeah. I know! They sound really good and really healthy and really delicious, don't they?

Uh. No. Now, actually, I take that back because they do TASTE delicious. However. Perhaps you remember this infamous post in which Tom actually sat up on the couch to ask me if I had some sort of problem after an episode with some Fiber One bars which involved...well...flatulence. Same thing here. Only I had one after lunch at school and the flatulence appeared within about an hour. When I was still at school. Believe me, there is nothing quite like trying to walk to the front of a class with your butt muscles tightly clenched so that you do not make a blatting sound like an old trumpet.

So. In conclusion. I do not recommend these. Unless you have a long, long spell of time in which you can be by yourself.

Like maybe.

On a tropical island.

Tuesday, April 14, 2009

Try It Tuesday: Skinny Cow Truffle Bars



I have been a fan of Skinny Cow products for years - their ice cream sandwiches are just as good as regular, full-fat ice cream sandwiches, if not better. They also have lots of fabulous flavors, although I haven't had much luck finding any other than chocolate and vanilla. I did miraculously stumble on a pack of mint a few years back, but haven't seen them since then. And they had a peppermint flavor for a while that was wonderful, but they don't seem to have that any more.

Anyway, I have gone back to their products instead of indulging in my M & M Blizzard mania and discovered they have some new products. Namely, their Truffle Bars. Chocolate or Vanilla ice cream on a stick, drizzled with chocolate - Yum!! They are creamy, delicious and only 2 Weight Watcher points.

Try them and let me know what you think.

Monday, April 13, 2009

I Know EXACTLY What You Mean. (Actually, I Haven't Got A Clue.)

So, I went to my second actual, official meeting as an actual, official employee of the travel agency. An official travel blogger. You may remember when I wrote about the first meeting where I was dressed in my most fabulous raiment (why, yes, sometimes I just toy with you and make you look up a word - that's the librarian coming out), darling shoes and perfect jewelry and was all professional and stuff but was actually most concerned about the fact that nobody asked me to go to lunch.

This was much the same but my feelings are no longer hurt - I think everyone either has business to head back to or they are having meetings over lunch. Maybe eventually I will be privy to that business but, at this point, some of what they talk about is like a foreign language. We'll be listening to a presentation and I'm all "Oh, yeah, I know about that and that and whatdidhejustsay"? There is still a lot of travel lingo I don't get. But. You know how when someone is talking about something and you haven't a CLUE what they are talking about but you don't want to appear IGNORANT so you just raise your eyebrows once in a while and nod your head and maybe even act like you are making a note in your notebook when actually the note just says whatdidhejustsay?

Yeah.

That was me.

Friday, April 10, 2009

For Fun Friday April 10, 2009

I wish I had a video of the preschooler who was falling asleep in my library during story time the other day. She kept falling sideways into the kids sitting beside her. Since I don't, check out this site. Lots of cute things falling asleep.

http://www.cutethingsfallingasleep.org/

Make your own movie. Warning: this site is seriously addictive. The power of making people say WHATEVER YOU WANT. It's mesmerizing.

http://www.xtranormal.com/

Ever seen one of those signs about how your mother doesn't work here, so clean up? Yeah, me too.

http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com/

Thursday, April 9, 2009

A Balancing Act

My mom has fallen twice in the last couple of months. My sister was quick to attribute her falls to a loss of balance, based on age. She has fallen herself, right off the big exercise ball she was using and right onto her head, causing a mild concussion. It was so unnerving that she began wearing a bicycle helmet while doing her ball balancing exercises! I listened absent-mindedly to her talking about balance and how it worsens as we grow older...read more at my Herald-Leader blog post HERE.

Wednesday, April 8, 2009

AFTER I RETIRE

There are exactly 44 days of school left. And, by the time I post this there will be even LESS. I have to add 10 days to that since librarians work some extra days in my district to get a complete inventory done, so I guess I actually have to work 54 more days. And then. I am DONE. Retired. Unless I choose to, I never have to get up and go to work again. Never. Ever. For the REST OF MY LIFE.

This is not a concept that I have a hard time accepting. Enjoying. Relishing. But it is a concept I find hard to believe. To imagine. To WRAP MY MIND AROUND. Because working? I have always done it. From the age of 16 to 56 I have worked. And now I don't have to. Of course, I am thinking about subbing or working part-time in a library because even though kids occasionally annoy me when they studiously pick their nose and then...well, that's quite enough. All you teachers know what I am talking about. Even though that annoys me, I do like the little monsters. Every now and then. And I love kid books. So it might be nice to see both every now and then.

And there's the travel blog. Which is going to to hopefully generate tons of income and free trips which I can earn while sitting at home in front of my computer in my sleeping pants. Can you THINK of a better way to earn money? Yeah. Me either.

But still. No ACTUAL job which requires getting up early.

So, approximately 3,918 times a day I have random thoughts go through my head.

1. Hmm. I think I need an oil change. I wonder when (checking the book in the glove compartment)...oh. I have a couple thousand more miles. That might be after school is out for the summer. Well. That's OK. I can get that done AFTER I RETIRE.

2. I think I might need a haircut. But I can go a while longer. Maybe even a couple of months. I can get that done AFTER I RETIRE.

3. I wish I had time to go to those yoga classes at the Y. Wait. I can do that AFTER I RETIRE.

4. What a great special on that cruise! I would love to take a cruise in the fall. Oh. I can do that AFTER I RETIRE.

5. I would love to to the movies more but the weekends are so busy...I can do that AFTER I RETIRE!



So, stay tuned. In just a couple of months, I'll be writing this blog. AFTER I RETIRE.

Tuesday, April 7, 2009

Try It Tuesday: Chex Mix Turtle Bars

Since I wrote yesterday about the DIET starting, I guess I should write about some DIET food here and that's not a problem because I got a whole list of new products to try from the Weight Watchers site. And this one?


Is FABULOUS. I have mentioned before what a fan I am of THE BAR. So easy, so quick, so delicious. I have several favorites but they are all at least 3-4 Weight Watcher points. But this Chex Mix Turtle Bar? Only 2 points! Not only that, it is one of the most delicious bars I have ever had. It is chewy and sweet and slightly sticky - just like a piece of turtle candy. I recommend it completely! Let me know what you think.

Monday, April 6, 2009

Who else?

1. Who else gets out all their spring and summer clothes and tries them all on?

2. Who else finds that EVERY SINGLE PAIR of shorts are now too tight?

3. Who else goes immediately to the Weight Watcher web site to sign on and get back on the program?

4. Who else finds that they CANNOT REMEMBER the password for the Weight Watcher site?

5. Because it has been so long?

Uh. Yeah. I had big plans to begin the major diet/exercise/lifestyle change/period of serious sugar withdrawal just as soon as I retired in June and had time to visit the Y for exercise classes but after the amazing trying-on episode in which my butt would have exploded from the shorts IF I had actually been able to button them, I decided, like, the time is NOW.

So the diet has officially begun. I KNOW! What a novelty it is to once again begin a diet for approximately the 3,129 time. But this time I am really motivated. Because. The other day I saw a picture of Valerie Bertinelli. In a BIKINI.


Peoples. She weighed 190. I weigh 190. She lost 50 pounds. I want to lose 50 pounds. She is ALMOST 50. I am...well...past 50. But not a whole lot.

I'm not saying I want to wear a bikini. Maybe a two-piece. But I want a bikini body. And I know it's possible. I have HAD a bikini body. it's been a long time. Like. A LOOOOONG time.

So, I had an idea. I would take a picture of myself in a bathing suit and post a new one every single month. I would call it "The Monthly Bathing Suit Update" and you could follow along with me as I lost weight and then finally there would be a picture of me in a two-piece.

So, I took a picture. Of me in a bathing suit. And then, because I am truly a good friend and would not want anyone to run from the computer desk screaming "My eyes! My eyes"!, I decided not to post it. The white thighs. The stomach rolls. The cellulite. Believe me, you do not want to see it. Let's just say that I look a whole lot better in clothes.

However.

My new hairstyle looks pretty good.

So. How about a bathing suit shot. Of just my head?



Man. I don't look too bad in a bathing suit. From the waist up. We'll see how the diet goes. Maybe you'll get to see more in a couple months.

Be sure to check out my travel blog, which is back up. Thanks!