Maybe we will actually see some of these news stories soon.
This one is for you, Sarah.
I hope everyone is having a safe, relaxing and food-filled holiday with your family and friends. We are headed to our daughter Liz's house to eat a meal completely prepared by her, which I have to say? Is pretty fabulous. Now. About that processed cheese product...
Since today is a day when we will all be indulging and, just possibly, overindulging in food, I thought it was appropriate to write about food. Or something similar to food. Read more at my Herald-Leader blog here.
To truly understand the fabulousness and absolute complexity of shopping at IKEA, you should read Part #1 here.
So, let's see. Where were we? Oh, yes. Lunch. We had lunch at the IKEA cafeteria which was quite clean and that's the best thing I can say about it. Except you WILL need to brace yourself with food at this place and having food right in the same store is a plus. And the Swedish meatballs were very good. Just not very hot.
So, we ate. Then we headed downstairs with our HUGE yellow shopping bags which were hooked onto these trolley like things which were, I guess, supposed to make it easier to tote the HUGE yellow shopping bags and they would probably work very well if you were not like us because we had crammed those suckers full without any regard to whether we could actually manage to carry the item. Because? In IKEA, you don't go back. You only go forward. They even have arrows on the floors to remind you of this.
With a second wind and some pretty good meatballs under our belt, we (sigh of relief) located the immense shopping carts and each took one. Filled it partway with our treasures and then proceeded to fill it the rest of the way with EVEN MORE TREASURES. A rug, a set of shelves, more kitchen items, and this was before we even found the holiday section, which had fall AND Christmas items all on 40% off. We probably would have bought more but our carts were full and we could smell cinnamon rolls cooking in the FOOD AREA, which is a completely different shopping area and we NEEDED some cinnamon rolls because lunch? Was a memory at this point. So we checked out and the cashier asked if I wanted a bag? I looked at the (immense) pile of items on the belt and said "uh, Duh. Yeah." Only I was more polite. So she got out a huge BLUE bag which not remotely anything like the YELLOW bag. OK, I lie. It was EXACTLY like it only it was BLUE and it cost 59 cents. Yes, we had to pay for our shopping bags. But they are reusable and, at this point, what was 59 cents more? A mere drop in the shopping bucket, as it were. So I went wild and bought three.
Then, we dragged our heavily laden shopping carts...actually, I have to digress here. Digress? Like I would EVER digress. OK, I am the queen of digression. Anyway. Those IKEA shopping carts? Were da bomb. No, really. Those things could turn ON A DIME. If we had to spin in a complete circle because we DEFIED the rules of IKEA and went back? No problem. No sticking wheels on those things. Those Swedes really know how to construct a shopping cart.
So. The food area. It was actually kind of small and I can't tell a lot without revealing some Christmas presents but we did buy some of these, because we felt it was our DUTY to buy some Swedish meatballs in a Swedish store. Don't you agree?
Then, after smelling these for a good 15 minutes while we checked out, of course we had to buy some of these as well. I would like to say that we took some out
of the package in the car and ate them because that was TOTALLY our intent but then we got distracted by a factory outlet mall on our way home and a store that had 50% with an extra 30% off because they were going out of business and that's almost just like they were PAYING US to take those clothes home so of course we had to buy some. But only Christmas presents, of course. We would NEVER buy something for ourselves when we were supposed to be Christmas shopping. Of COURSE NOT.
Of course, we realized after we had
crammed our bags neatly packed our bags in the car that we all had to pee. My niece, who is actually a GENIUS, had noticed the 15-minute loading dock so we parked there and ran in. And here's our reasoning. We had nothing to LOAD but we had something to UNLOAD. Get it? And my sister-in-law had neglected to buy cinnamon rolls and, of course, this was unacceptable. So we accomplished all this and then hit the road.
So. That's IKEA. I totally recommend it. And, if you can go with your sister-in-law NANCY (who really likes to see her name in print) and your niece, Jennifer who are fun and funny and will completely GO BACK with you in IKEA even though it is against the rules? That is the best trip in the world. And to all our other relatives who couldn't make it? Sorry you couldn't make it. We love you. But we would not have had room for your packages anyway.
We'll have to rent a van next time.
You know how, when you read a lot of different bloggers, you start to hear about certain things you would otherwise know absolutely nothing about? Like IKEA. Soon after I started reading blogs, bloggers mentioned how they went to IKEA to get just the perfect set of shelves or a kitchen table that folds down to approximately the dimensions of a fairy's thimble or a toy for their kid that can be passed down to their great-great grandchild; it is JUST THAT well-made. And I wondered, what is this IKEA of which they speak?
Well, I am here to tell that I have been to the mountaintop, my friends. I have seen the light. I have...well, anyway. I have been to IKEA! When I found out that a friend had driven to an IKEA and that it was near Cincinnati, very close to us, I rounded up my peeps and we planned a road trip. It ended up being the same trio who went to the wedding, minus my baby brother who would much rather lie on the couch watching a football game than browse through Swedish furniture. Poor sap.
We got a late start while we printed out the directions and then made the obligatory run through Starbucks. I'm not a coffee fan (sigh of horror from all my readers who are, as we speak, deleting me from their Readers) but I did try the Hazelnut Hot Chocolate, which was sublime. I'm going to have to go back and try this Salted Caramel Hot Chocolate which I keep hearing about. This combination of flavors sounds strangely appealing.
After two hours, which felt like about 10 minutes because of the supremely amusing and entertaining company (No, I meant me - who did you THINK I meant?) we arrived in front of the monstrous IKEA store. Where we stayed for approximately 12 hours. Oh, I exaggerate. It was only 5 hours. But we only left because we could no longer stand without falling over. And we had no more room in our carts.
When we walked in, we paused to reconnoiter, much like zebras on the African veldt pause to get the lay of the land. But there were no lions here waiting to pounce. Only the other shoppers who flowed around us, slightly annoyed at our hesitation, heading to their known destinations, as we tried to make a plan. We decided against shopping carts (FAIL), figuring we could always come back if we needed them. Hint. There is NO GOING BACK in IKEA. Seriously. The elevators only go UP at the front of the store. There is even a sign that says this. Even though this is bending the laws of time and space, the elevators only go up. So. Even if you think you are just in IKEA to PICK UP A FEW THINGS? First of all, I laugh at you. Hilariously. Secondly. Get a cart anyway.
The top floor of IKEA is a showroom which is, just as it sounds, a place for them to show all the furniture and various accoutrements which go along with them in lovely little settings that make you want to clear your house out with a bulldozer and basically replace everything in it with one of those sets. Seriously. They are so beautiful, so coordinated, so organized. I wanted to grab every single pillow and throw and lamp and picture frame and place them just so in my house. And, oh. It would transform it to look JUST LIKE that IKEA showroom. Or this is how I see it. And I don't want to hear anything different.
Although some of the upholstered furniture is a trifle uncomfortable. But it looks great, dammit! And this chair actually IS comfortable. And the coolest thing? You can buy tons of different covers that just ZIP ON and completely change your room. So TOTALLY cool.
The first thing to go into my oversized yellow IKEA bag we had picked up in our extreme naivete, thinking that would hold our purchases, was a darling little blue and white plastic stool for my grandson to use in my bathroom. It was sturdy and absolutely perfect and
darling. Now, how much do you think that stool cost? $8? 12$? Nooooo! $3.50.
We were constantly amazed throughout the day at how IKEA can sell such quality merchandise at such low prices. We were not really in the market for furniture or items to organize your house, which is really what they specialize in. But we were very impressed with all they had, especially the way many of the items folded to take up a much smaller space.
We were more in the market for...well, pretty much anything else. Second item in bag. Toy trains. And can I just say? Thomas can pretty much go back to the Island of Sodor if this train set is as nice as it seems. Just ONE of those freakin' Thomas trains is about $20 and I didn't pay much more than that for an entire train set.
We bought pillows and Christmas decorations (all on 40% off now) and dishes (adult and child size) and a boxed gingerbread house to put together, and a darling oak Lazy Susan for my kitchen table that was $5.00 and candles and I can't even remember what else. But we had three packed grocery carts and we were ecstatic about all our purchases.
Somewhere in there, we had lunch at the in-store cafeteria which was just "EH" on the food but had an entire area of the cafeteria line reserved for items for children, so they get points for that. Juice boxes, carrot sticks, small containers of yogurt, all very impressive. They also have a huge play area for kids which is manned by several IKEA employees and looks like it would be a blast for kids. Finally, we figured out the system and went to the first floor, which is where you actually purchase most of the items they have on display. Although there is some purchasing on the showroom level as well. Just in case you don't get in QUITE enough purchasing time.
And this post is getting quite long, even for me, and I have a rabid snot monster that is trying to take over my head, so I'll finish this Wednesday. Stay tuned for stories about Swedish meatballs and where to park in case, in your excitement, you pack the car to leave and then realize you all three have to pee pretty badly.
Good times indeed.
Posted by Jan Ross at 7:30 AM
I got an email the other day. It was addressed to "Dearest Beloved" which I think is SO MOVING considering all this person has gone through.
it is my pleasure writing you afetr going through your profile, i believe that you will not betray the trust which i am going to lay on you, my name is veronica diata, 21 years old of age and the only survival of my late parent mr and mrs williams diata, my father was a very highly reputed and a coco machandise who operated in the capital of ivoire coast during his days, it is sad to say that he passed away mistirioursly in france during one of his business trip abroad, but his surden death was linked or rather suspected by one of his brothers who accompanied him on that trip ! but almighty god knows the truth!
I am SO HONORED that she does not think I will betray her trust. That she is going to lay on me. HONORED. Isn't that just so AWFUL that her father mistirioursly passed away? And how his surden death makes one of his brothers suspect. I am so GLAD that almighty god knows the truth.
my mother died when i was just eight years, my father took me soo special after the death of my mother, right now life has became terible for me after the death of my beloved father, i am in a sincere desire of your humble assistance, i want you to help me retreived out $ 7.5 millions dollars, (seven million five hundred united state dollars) which my father deposited in one prime security company here in abidjan cote d'ivoire before his dearth, i know it is very risk to confide in someone you never know before, but i have puted everything in the hand of almighty god because he is the one that made me to come in contact with you, and i realy believe that you will not betray my trust in you,
She will be one wealthy girl if she can get her hands on that $7.5 millions dollars that her dad stashed away. I think it is ADMIRABLE that she has puted everything in the hand of almighty god. And that she thinks I will not betray her trust.
i want you to get back to me as soon as you read this message so that i will gave you the details, may almighty god be with you and also your family, till i hear from you,
Veronica. You can count of me. I will be back in touch with you soon. Very soon. Just as soon as I figure out why someone who has $7.5 million dollars can't spell and doesn't know any grammar. Maybe you should invest some of that money in a good Language Arts class. Just as soon as someone helps you out with that situation.
Keep me updated.
Read my Herald-Leader post today: Of the top twenty shows in the Nielsen ratings recently, we watch...two*. I'm not sure what that says about our viewing habits...read more.
We hate watching commercials. Back in the day before we discovered the miracle that is DVR, we used to mute the commercials. Sit in total silence, waiting for them to be over, just so we didn't have to be subjected to inane chatter about ridiculous products we would never purchase. Once we got our DVR though, we started
taping recording virtually everything. We realized recently that we NEVER watch live TV anymore. The big advantage to this, of course, is that you can watch what you want whenever you want to watch it. But the other advantage is that you never have to watch another commercial for your whole, entire, wonderful life.
Well. You do have to skim through them as you fast forward.
At least, that's what we thought.
Until our lives were changed when we discovered the 30-second skip option.
Apparently, you can program your DVR remote (or your fabulously expensive touch-screen remote which does everything but rub your feet for you that I could never in a skillion years program) so that when you push a button, it will skip forward 30 seconds into the commercials. 30 seconds every time you push a button. You can literally ROCKET through the commercials and be back to your show.
Could life BE any better?
Now that I think about it, it WOULD be kind of nice to have a foot rub.
Here's the web site with the information we used. http://www.dslreports.com/forum/remark,15140353
Of course. That is the "royal" we. Meaning Tom did it. And I watched.
Welcome to "Try It Tuesday"! If you have tried an interesting new product lately, please sign Mr. Linky below and link directly to your blog post. You might want to read the guidelines here.
Posted by Jan Ross at 5:30 AM
I loved and adored the show "Sex And The City" so when they movie came out, I was one of the first in the many groups of women who queued up to pay $8.00 a ticket to see it. Loved it. Loved the way the story just continued on and loved the happy endings they all found.
So, when the movie came out on DVD, I wanted to watch it. But I thought it was kind of silly to BUY the DVD, I would just watch it on On Demand. So, I ordered it for $4.00 on Sunday, even though I knew I did not have time to watch the whole thing. That was OK, I would finish it the next day. I ordered it up at 4:00 in the afternoon. You have it to view for 24 hours. On the way home from school (at 4:00), I realized I would not be able to finish it because my 24 hours was up! Dang. I really wanted to see the first half. So, I settled in on the couch and ordered it up again. $4.00 again. It was wonderful. I really enjoyed it.
But I paid $16.00 to see it, in total.
I could have bought the DVD for not much more than that.
And, also? We have Netflix we pay for EVERY MONTH.
I could have watched it for FREE.
Perhaps I should start my own frugal web site.
Or perhaps not.
Check out my blog post today for the Herald-Leader: Better Than A Solo At Carnegie Hall
Apparently, I am a genius.
And I don't even know it.
When I wrote the post on Monday about that evil, evil tree, I casually threw out the term "manverse" to explain the universe my husband lives in - a universe that does not recognize the tracked in fall leaves. That term just popped into my head, flowed down my arm and slipped right into that post. I thought that was a word I had read somewhere. I did not realize that I had actually coined it MYSELF until someone made a comment and I searched in on the all-seeing, all-knowing Google. And it does NOT EXIST. At least. Not until now.
As of this moment, I have trademarked this word.
God. I am probably going to be a kazillionaire at ANY MOMENT.
So, I think it is high time we describe the manverse. And all its many, many complex rules. Here's a few. Add some more in your comments.
And I will just wait for the money to come ROLLING IN.
1. In the manverse, dishes automatically go from the table or counter or coffee table into the dishwasher. It's just LIKE MAGIC!
2. In the manverse, you never have to put your trash IN THE TRASH CAN. On top is quite sufficient.
3. In the manverse, steak is the ultimate meal. Basically, you can eat steak for every meal. With potatoes. Because potatoes are a staple in the manverse.
4. In the manverse, if a restaurant has any sort of gimmicks, including but not limited to a patio or any menu items you can't easily pronounce, it is a "chick restaurant". And you would prefer to never eat there. Because they probably don't have steak anyway.
5. In the manverse, you are not napping if you fall asleep on the couch while watching TV. That is just dozing or resting your eyes or pretty much anything except napping. Definitely not napping.
6. In the manverse, there are "chick flicks" and "bazooka flicks". Do I even need to say which one you prefer?
7. In the manverse, you can use the last of something in a box with absolutely no guilt. Because it will automatically be replaced, right?
What can you add to the list?
Now, in all fairness, I must add this. I received my lovely package of goodies for winning the blogging contest the other day and was explaining to Tom that the package was beauty products and he INSTANTLY responded "Baby, you don't need any beauty products. You have natural beauty." And my heart exploded with his niceness. Even though that was a total, out-and-out lie and I have no natural beauty at all. It's all product, baby. SERIOUS product.
Do you like to shop? Do you like to try new stuff? Well, then write a blog post about something you have tried and sign up on Mr. Linky below to share with all of us. You might want to read the guidelines first.
I honestly thought everyone already knew about these nail polish cloths until I went on a trip with my sister-in-law and niece who had never heard of them. They are absolutely fabulous. They are individually packaged little pads that are saturated with nail polish remover. Just tear open a package and use the pad to take off your polish. They are especially great for travel. Pop a box in your makeup kit and you can take off your polish or repair it while you travel. The store brands seem to work just as well as the name brand sets.
Oh, yes, it looks like a fabulous golden blast of color. A veritable fall ICON, as it were. But it is evil. EVIL, I tell you.
Well. Maybe not precisely EVIL. But in a few short days, this happens.
And, really, I should wait a couple of weeks and take a picture because the leaves will be piled up like a huge mass of golden coins. And, even though that sounds poetic. It isn't. If they stayed there, I would have no problem. But they don't. They blow. Right across the driveway and up against the door of the garage. In big piles. So when you open the garage, they blow in. They scatter everywhere. Then they are tracked in.
For the next six months.
Tom insists the leaves are no problem because "they blow away". In what universe is he living? Oh, yes. The manverse. In the manverse, you don't even notice the leaves that have been tracked in all over the frakin' house. For the next six months.
Last year, I finally broke down and gathered up big armfuls of leaves and stuffed them in the trash can. I was not about to break out the rake. But I may have to give in this year.
Because those leaves are blowing nowhere but straight into the garage.
Even if my husband can't even see them.
I hate that tree.
Even if it is kinda pretty.
Yesterday, I wrote about my passionate love for Dairy Queen M & M Blizzards.
How I love them. The crunchy sweetness. The total fabulousness of eating them with the long red spoons.
Blogging is all about lots of different things for different people. I could wax all philosophical about the blog friends I have made, like Heather, how I can stay in constant contact with my lovely family, most of whom also maintain blogs, how wonderful it is to have my writing recognized and rewarded, and what a satisfying feeling it is to click "Publish Post".
All great things. Wonderful things.
But when you get a comment like this?
My weakness is the Heath Blizzard ...with extra candy...Now I have to go get one.
And you learn...that it is possible to get EXTRA CANDY on your blizzard? That you just have to ASK FOR IT?
My friends. THAT is what blogging is all about.
Check out my Herald-Leader post today: The Fairy Tree House
The winner of the caption contest for the photograph featured here is Cyndi B. with "Hey! They've got a puppy!" which is perfect because I can just imagine my grandson thinking that as he looks through that fence. Cyndi B., I need an email address so I can contact you about your prize. Thanks to everyone for participating!
OK. I'm adding a blog carnival TO a blog carnival. Is that innovative OR WHAT? But it fits the category of their carnival, so I'm going for it. You might want to click over to Blissfully Domestic to see all the other links as well, because there is some cool stuff there. Now. About my blog carnival.