IKEA Ho's, Part #2

To truly understand the fabulousness and absolute complexity of shopping at IKEA, you should read Part #1 here.

So, let's see. Where were we? Oh, yes. Lunch. We had lunch at the IKEA cafeteria which was quite clean and that's the best thing I can say about it. Except you WILL need to brace yourself with food at this place and having food right in the same store is a plus. And the Swedish meatballs were very good. Just not very hot.

So, we ate. Then we headed downstairs with our HUGE yellow shopping bags which were hooked onto these trolley like things which were, I guess, supposed to make it easier to tote the HUGE yellow shopping bags and they would probably work very well if you were not like us because we had crammed those suckers full without any regard to whether we could actually manage to carry the item. Because? In IKEA, you don't go back. You only go forward. They even have arrows on the floors to remind you of this.

With a second wind and some pretty good meatballs under our belt, we (sigh of relief) located the immense shopping carts and each took one. Filled it partway with our treasures and then proceeded to fill it the rest of the way with EVEN MORE TREASURES. A rug, a set of shelves, more kitchen items, and this was before we even found the holiday section, which had fall AND Christmas items all on 40% off. We probably would have bought more but our carts were full and we could smell cinnamon rolls cooking in the FOOD AREA, which is a completely different shopping area and we NEEDED some cinnamon rolls because lunch? Was a memory at this point. So we checked out and the cashier asked if I wanted a bag? I looked at the (immense) pile of items on the belt and said "uh, Duh. Yeah." Only I was more polite. So she got out a huge BLUE bag which not remotely anything like the YELLOW bag. OK, I lie. It was EXACTLY like it only it was BLUE and it cost 59 cents. Yes, we had to pay for our shopping bags. But they are reusable and, at this point, what was 59 cents more? A mere drop in the shopping bucket, as it were. So I went wild and bought three.

Then, we dragged our heavily laden shopping carts...actually, I have to digress here. Digress? Like I would EVER digress. OK, I am the queen of digression. Anyway. Those IKEA shopping carts? Were da bomb. No, really. Those things could turn ON A DIME. If we had to spin in a complete circle because we DEFIED the rules of IKEA and went back? No problem. No sticking wheels on those things. Those Swedes really know how to construct a shopping cart.

So. The food area. It was actually kind of small and I can't tell a lot without revealing some Christmas presents but we did buy some of these, because we felt it was our DUTY to buy some Swedish meatballs in a Swedish store. Don't you agree?

Then, after smelling these for a good 15 minutes while we checked out, of course we had to buy some of these as well. I would like to say that we took some out




of the package in the car and ate them because that was TOTALLY our intent but then we got distracted by a factory outlet mall on our way home and a store that had 50% with an extra 30% off because they were going out of business and that's almost just like they were PAYING US to take those clothes home so of course we had to buy some. But only Christmas presents, of course. We would NEVER buy something for ourselves when we were supposed to be Christmas shopping. Of COURSE NOT.

Of course, we realized after we had crammed our bags neatly packed our bags in the car that we all had to pee. My niece, who is actually a GENIUS, had noticed the 15-minute loading dock so we parked there and ran in. And here's our reasoning. We had nothing to LOAD but we had something to UNLOAD. Get it? And my sister-in-law had neglected to buy cinnamon rolls and, of course, this was unacceptable. So we accomplished all this and then hit the road.

So. That's IKEA. I totally recommend it. And, if you can go with your sister-in-law NANCY (who really likes to see her name in print) and your niece, Jennifer who are fun and funny and will completely GO BACK with you in IKEA even though it is against the rules? That is the best trip in the world. And to all our other relatives who couldn't make it? Sorry you couldn't make it. We love you. But we would not have had room for your packages anyway.

We'll have to rent a van next time.

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