Advice On How to Have a GREAT Holiday Weekend

How to have a GREAT Holiday:

1. Have your sewer drain back up and flood the finished basement.

2. Call Stanley Steemer to come clean the carpet. They promise to extract the water and THEN clean the carpet.

3. Apparently, this information does not transfer from the person who dispatches the cleaners to the actual cleaners themselves.

4. They clean the carpet.

5. We look at each other, shrug our shoulders and assume they know what they are doing.

6. We are SUPREMELY STUPID. They do not know what they are doing.

7. The carpet begins to smell like mold in about 24 hours.

8. Call Stanley Steemer again.

9. They come. These guys (new guys) recommend to Tom (I am not home) that we install new carpeting and replace all the drywall. Basically just redo the basement. They can't do anything about it. They are blameless. They are clueless. They are brainless.

10. Tom calls me on my cell phone.

11. Suggests I go into "bitch mode" with Stanley Steemer. To whom we paid $270 to fix the problem. Which is not fixed.

12. I do so. Dude. I am seriously good at going into "bitch mode."

13. The manager of Stanley Steemer comes to our house (on the evening before Thanksgiving. They DO get points for this.) and pulls up the carpet and leaves a dehumidifier.

14. Which creates an airflow of approximately 105 degrees.

15. No, really.

16. That's what he told us.

17. And we still will have to replace the carpet pad.

18. I'm not sure if we would have had to do that if they had extracted the water first.

19. And I can't think about that.

20. I'm too mesmerized by this dehumidifier the size of a jet engine we have in our basement. Until Saturday. Notice the toilet paper fluttering in the 105 degree breeze.


Monday update. The jet engine is now gone. And our basement smells lovely. Now we just have to pay someone to replace the pad and tack our carpet back down. The joy never ends, does it?