Thursday, November 15, 2007

Dear Gabby

Note found written on notebook paper with purple marker by the bus lane at my elementary school.

Dear Gabby,

I and Cherelle are NOT your friend forever and tomorrow dont try to be our friend.

P.S. Dont ever call us again cause we are going to hang up on you.

P.S.S. Also dont call us ever ever again not even the next day and the day after that and not for 5 years!!

P.S.S.S. We dont like you.

Email written to Cherelle 25 years later:


How great to hear from you. How long has it been? I guess close to 25 years since we were in elementary school. Right before my dad was transferred to New York and we moved here. You are right - that WAS a lucky move for me. I met my husband who is the president of a global company. And what a coincidence that you are applying for a job with his company!

What a great job too! The salary is incredible and you get to travel the world. I had no idea that you had been interviewing with one of our vice-presidents and the position had been narrowed down to two candidates. You are so qualified for this position!

In response to your question, I would be HAPPY to talk to my husband about hiring you. In fact, I really JUST CAN HARDLY WAIT until he gets home to talk to him about it. You can count on it.

Love and Kisses,


P.S. I have scanned and attached to this message a note you sent me in elementary school.

P.S.S. You should probably count on not getting the job. Also don't call me ever ever again not even the next day and the day after that and not for 5 years!! Or 50.

P.S.S.S. And. I don't like you.


Anonymous said...

Haahahahahaha, that was awesome.

You remind me why I hated elementary school so much. Alas, the monetary gains that would enable me to exact profound revenge on former schoolyard thugs have yet to materialize. More's the pity.

Also, is that first note real? said...


Ah yes...well...I have met some past bullies who have seen the error of their ways and who are contrite and who have tried to make ammends.

Let's just hope for Cherelle.

BOSSY said...

Greatest post in history.

Bea said...

Karma's a b*tch, isn't she?

Anonymous said...

Awesome! I love it. Sometimes it's good and sometimes it's really really bad that our past follows us everywhere...

Mrs4444 said...

Wow. This is my first time reading your blog. Is this really you??? Whatever, it's funny.

This reminds me of something for (I think that's it; they post found notes.)