It's Just A Good Thing I Am Not In Charge Of Getting That Heart Transplant There On Time

So, I had plans to meet up with some of my girlfriends for lunch the other day. A friend emailed and we planned it right up and I made a mental note and, even though I was going to have Moose that day, I knew I could arrange everything because I am so ORGANIZED and SO AWESOME and I PLAN EVERYTHING so well.

I knew we would have to leave town at 11:30 to be there by 12:00 so we ran our errands, then went to the mall where we exchanged some sleeping pants, went to several stores to find little boy shoes with laces (per mom's instructions) with Spiderman on them (per Moose's instructions) and, although we had to go to four different stores and had to compromise on lace shoes with ELMO on them, we managed and everyone was happy.

And it was 11:15 and time to coat up and head to the car so we could be at lunch just in time. We popped in Red Robin for a corn dog and fries since I didn't think Panera would tempt a little boy's appetite and then, there we were. At Panera. At 12:00. I was marveling at myself just a LITTLE BIT. Because I had planned things SO WELL and I was SO ORGANIZED and so totally AWESOME. I may have even tossed my head. A little. Because I was that FULL OF PRIDE.

And then I looked around and saw none of my friends. God. I can't believe they are late. Don't they realize how ORGANIZED I am? How I PLANNED EVERYTHING? How I am TOTALLY AWESOME???

So, at 12:10 I called Debbie to see where everyone was.

And she informed me we were getting together TOMORROW.

Not TODAY.

So Moose and I had lunch at Panera.

He was great company.

Just not precisely the lunch I was visualizing for someone who is so organized, awesome and such a great planner.

Not PRECISELY.

Stumble It!

I'm...Too Sexy For My Shirt

So, we baby-sat for Wes on Saturday night while Liz and Cory went to the movies and out to dinner. He had a little runny nose, but was his usual sweet and cheerful self. After they picked him up, I decided to run to Red Robin to get us some dinner.

I looked pretty cute. Seriously. My hair and make-up were fixed since Wes and I had been running around town, I had on some cute peach shorts and a stretchy, long sleeve, black top with the sleeves pushed up to my elbows. I had on big black hoop earrings and some flat black patent slides with gold trim. Bear with me. This is important. I looked pretty DARN cute.

But I didn't think I looked quite cute enough to warrant all the boob shots I was getting from the guy getting my take-out at the bar. You know the boob shot, right? They glance at your boobs, glance up at your face, glance down at your boobs? Well, this is kind of how our conversation went.

(Boob Shot.) Can I help you?
Yes, I'm here to pick up dinner for Mrs. Who.
(Boob Shot.) OK, here it is.
Thanks. (Hand him my debit card.)
(Boob Shot.) Here's your receipt, Ma'am.
Thanks. (Taking my bag.)
(Boob Shot.) Have a good evening.

Well, I thought, as I walked out. I guess I must look really fine. Suuuuuper fine. I had a spring in my step. A saucy little bounce to my hips. I am SO SEXY. I look so fabulous. I just have the most fabulous boobs in the world. And that guy was young too! Man, I am just.so.great. I don't know if I can stand myself, I am so fabulous.

I got in the car and put the package on the other seat and smugly glanced down at my perfect, fabulous boobs.

And saw the big smear of baby snot right in the middle of them.