Wednesday, October 22, 2008

"We Love Because It's The Only True Adventure"

-Nikki Giovanni

I leave for the wedding tomorrow. It's in California and I have planned and packed and accessorized until every single detail has been accounted for and put on a list. And checked off. and rechecked. Not that I am anal or anything.

I have talked at length about shopping for what I am wearing to the wedding, but I haven't really talked much about the wedding. It will be a lovely wedding. It will be in the cool of a California late afternoon, in a gorgeous backyard, with music and food and love and laughter. Oh. And two brides. Did I forget to mention that? That it is a gay wedding? That my sister is gay? I think I did forget to mention that. Because I forget. She is my sister. She is my gay sister. And I don't really care about the gay part because she is funny and sweet and generous and loving and the gay part is really just one small part of her life.

I didn't really know my sister until I was an adult. She is 8 years older than me and left home when I was very young. It was a different time back then. You weren't gay and on well-loved TV shows and able to legally marry in three states and accepted as perfectly normal by a large percentage of the population. The word homosexual was whispered behind closed doors, never discussed in families and California was the most open-minded place in the United States. So she went there. And stayed there. For years.

Finally, letters were written, phone calls were put through, overtures were made and she came to visit. And we became friends. 8 years became nothing. We were just alike in so many, many ways. We could crack each other up. Laugh until we cried. She and her daughter were in my wedding. We vacationed together. We spent holidays together. We shared everything. We still do.

And now she has found her soul mate and they will marry and live happily ever after. And I will be there. I will always be there. Just like she will be there for me. And she may tell her love as they stand in front of the crowd that she will be there until "death do us part" and I told my husband that too and we meant it.

But I will be there for my sister too. Until death do us part.


Wep said...

Aww, that's a very sweet post. I don't think it matters who you marry, just that you find someone to love :)

Lynda said...

What a beautiful post! Best wishes to your sister. I bet the wedding will be perfect :-)

Barbara said...

I am in tears! Your post is so beautiful and touching. My brother-in-law is gay, and he's also my favorite in-law. He also grew up in a different time, so I can really relate to your blog. I loved him before any of us knew he was gay, and I loved him just as much when he declared his freedom and took a life-mate. Enjoy the wedding!

Natalie said...

That is so sweet! Have a wonderful time and I wish your sister and her love much happiness!

Anonymous said...

I would say that your sister will cry when she reads your blog today. Have a great time and enjoy the CA weather! I’m catching up on your blogs because I have been swamped for the past few days.


Mindy said...

I'm so glad she has found the person who lights her life. How wonderful! Every person deserves the right to love and be loved. Congratulations to them!

Anonymous said...

Please give my best to Carol and her bride. Have a fun, relaxing, fabulous time.

Lucy's Mom said...

That is one of the most beautiful things I have ever read. I love you so much. See you tomorrow. Can’t wait.

Your Sis

Heather said...

Have a great time, Jan! And by the way, this just affirms for me what an awesome person you are. Your sister is lucky to have you. :)