Fat Stripes

I had another wardrobe issue the other day. No, it wasn't a muffin top problem or a matching shoe issue or even a broken bra issue. I had a fat stripes issue. What? You don't know what fat stripes are?

OK, I have a little white, lace trimmed tank top that is really just a LITTLE bit too tight. It was a little snug when I bought it and, after being washed, it's really too tight. But it's just so cute. And I thought if I wore it under my new pink and white striped shirt with my pink capris (and pink shoes and pink earrings - but you knew that) it would be fine. I just wouldn't take off the shirt. Just the cute lacy front of the tank top would show. It would be fine. Just fine. Because it is actually one of those so tight, stretchy material tops that it stretches across the back and makes those fat stripes. You know what I mean. When the material stretches and makes those dents in your back fat and it looks like your back has fat stripes. You know. And if you don't, well you must have a smooth, slim, toned back. And I hate you a little bit.

So I looked good. I was set. All coordinated and pink and nobody would know I had fat stripes under my shirt. Until I got to school. And realized the air conditioning was not working again. I kept on my shirt as long as I could. But, at some point, it had to come off. And the fat stripes were out there for the world to see.

Luckily, school is out and there were only a few of us there that day. And I could put my shirt back on when I left. Because the fat stripes are not really something I wanted to share with everyone.


Just you.