Just Call Me Yoga Bear

OK, so I'm doing Yoga now.


That may be just a slight stretch of the truth. Actually, I have done Yoga exactly twice. The first time, I was in a little bit of a hurry so I just completed about 1/2 hour of the DVD, of which about ten minutes consisted of this woman walking in the dessert in her white leotard, stretching lazily and contemplating the meaning of life while she explained Yoga. I sat cross-legged and watched this, thinking "Damn, Yoga is really easy."


Yesterday, I actually had time to complete the whole Yoga DVD and...damn...Yoga is hard. I thought Yoga was like stretching and doing poses and stuff. I thought it would be nice and fairly easy and a break from doing the strenuous dancing exercises on my other DVD. (YES, I am doing some classes at the Y, stop bugging me, this is just when I can't make it there. Like when we have hail.) So we were stretching and leaning and, in the beginning, when she said "Now, slow down your breathing", I thought "Slow down? What do you mean? I'm juuuuuusssst fine!" Then, after about ten minutes, I realized what she meant when I had to slow down my fast, tortured breathing.


Then, she was like "Now, if you feel a burning in your knees, you can put a rolled up blanket under your bottom." Guess who needed a rolled up blanket under her bottom? The best part of the DVD was at the very end when I got to lie down flat and take a little mini-nap to relax.


So, here's the thing. I was exercising in a t-shirt and sweat pants. She was exercising in this skin-tight white leotard and tights. She just looked a whole lot better than me. When she did the poses, her body looked all smooth and lean and straight. Mine looked kind of hunched over and crooked.


And here's the conclusion I came to. It's the clothes! I think I need some Yoga clothes. I think that would help me tremendously. I think my Yoga poses would improved immensely. So, tomorrow, I'm going shopping for a skin-tight leotard. I'll do my Yoga DVD later.


I promise.