Friday, June 1, 2007

Wardrobe Malfunction

We just finished our fifth grade commencement program at school yesterday. Nice, sweet, all that. Kids hugging each other and hugging us and promising us they will come visit next year. Some really will. Most we will never see again. We have to hope we did the best we could with the time we were given with them. Maybe some will stay avid readers, keep loving books. Maybe I helped.

But here's the thing. One of the presenters up on stage with me was wearing a strapless sundress. Darling. But, oh my. Who remembers tube tops? Come on, raise your hands. Raise both hands. Give out a shout. Oh. Uh oh. See? That's what happens with strapless tops and dresses. So it made me very nervous. And I wasn't even wearing it. She was young and innocent and had obviously not been on a stage very much. Or made many presentations.

I have. And I would never wear anything strapless. Or even low cut. Because I have seen what happens when you drop something, forget what you are wearing and bend over. Whoa. You are on display for your audience and anyone else interested in perusing your merchandise.

I worry enough when I have to present. Will my nose start running? (Yes, it always does. So I have tissues.) Will I turn my ankle when I walk across the stage? (Yes, I have stumbled. I recovered, kept my cool, went on walking.) Will I forget what I wanted to say? (Yes. I just kept talking until it came back to me.) Will I think my presentation at a conference is supposed to end 15 minutes before it actually comes to an end, make my conclusion and then have someone in the audience tell me I have 15 more minutes? (Yes. To my embarrassment, yes. I managed to talk for 15 more minutes. No problem, actually.) Will the technology I am depending on for my session at a technology conference screw up? (Of course. That is a given. It's how you make it work or work around it that impresses the audience. Because they know their technology will probably screw up in their session also. So they don't judge.)

So, I don't need to get overly excited, throw both arms up in the air and realize that my dress is now around my waist. I TRULY don't need that to happen.

So I don't wear strapless dresses to present.


Nikky said...

I don't wear strapless dresses PERIOD. I don't have enough to hold them up...
But I have a code of conduct for the least amount of error or embarrassment when speaking in front of others... Don't go to Taco Bell for lunch, don't eat broccoli for supper the night before, either don't wear heels or practice in them beforehand (I don't wear heels often)... stuff like that.