Friday, June 22, 2007

That Feels Niiiiiiiice.

Since I am a child of the pre-fluoride in the water era, I have lots of big silver fillings in the back of my mouth. You know those 50 year olds you see on tv who throw their back and laugh and you see enough metal in there to build a car? Yeah, that's me. My dentist was concerned about the fillings because they are old and starting to crack and pit, so he recommended drilling them out and filling them in with a newer, white filling substance.

When he said "drill", I broke out in a light sweat. I don't like that drill. I guess nobody really likes going to the dentist but, because I had so much drilling when I was young and some of it was quite painful, I really HATE having work done on my teeth. After having braces as an adult, I became much calmer about having work done on my teeth, but I still HATE that drill. So the thought of having to endure the drilling was not pleasant.

My dentist is wonderful. He is fairly young with triplet sons and is gentle and kind. He understands that many people are afraid of the dentist, so he does everything he can to make you comfortable. So, here was our conversation about the dental work.

Him: I will numb you mouth so you won't feel the shot and then I'll give you the novacain.

Me: Good. Lots of novacain.

Him: We have headphones with music.

Me: Good. Give me the headphones.

Him: We can give you gas as well (nitrous oxide).

Me: Good. Give me the gas. What else ya got?

Him: I think that's it.

Me: OK. Let's do it.

The dental assistant proceeded to strap on this pink pig-nose looking contraption and hooked me up to the nitrous oxide. Two seconds later I said "I don't feel anything yet. Should I feel something? I don't feel anything." She laid her hand reassuringly on my shoulder. "It's just oxygen now. We'll turn on the gas in just a couple of minutes." Then she put some big sunglasses on me to block the light and fitted the headphones over my ears. I probably looked like some alien space traveler who couldn't stand the heat of our sun or breathe our atmosphere.

The other assistant came in and told me she was turning on the gas and I should feel something in the next minute. No. No. I don't feel anything. I was wringing my hands with nervousness. They turned it up a little more. No. No. I don't feel anything. Nooooo....wait a minute. I think I do feel something. Hee. That feels niiiiiice. I'm kinda sleepy now.

Open your mouth. 'Kay. Wider. 'Kay. Drilling sounds faintly in the distance. Slight panic. Then niiiiiice again. Oh. That is such a great idea for a blog post. I'm going to write that just as soon as I get home. Wait. What was I just thinking? Niiiiice.

Oooooh, I love this song. Dee, dee, dee, dee. I'll have to tell Tom about this song. I think it's new. I haven't heard it before. Who's it by? Oh, yeah. I'll tell him about it tonight. 'Kay. Wait. What was I just thinking? Niiiiiice. Oh. Wider? 'Kay. Oh, that nice dental assistant is talking to me. Yeah, I'm fiiiiiine. She is going to polish my new fillings. 'Kay. Wow, that was fast. I can't believe he did that filling so fast. What was that, like 15 minutes? You're turning off the gas? 'Kay.

Oh, that wasn't bad at all. And I can't believe how fast it was. Really. Was it like 15 minutes? I look at my watch. An hour and a half has gone by. Damn.

Our dental insurance didn't pay for the gas. I don't care. Seriously. If you have to get a filling, ask for the gas. It's niiiiice. And you don't even care about that drill. And the time just FLIES by.


Nikky said...

I love this post! I just sat here and giggled (without gas, even!)

I've never had a bad experience with the dentist (I am 34 and never a cavity... thanks Mom!) So I actually DO like going to my dentist... plus, he looks a little like Tim Robbins, just a real cutie... LOVE Dr Erik!
So while I cannot sympathize with you and say "I understand", I can say that I'm glad you found a good way around the pain!