Wednesday, June 6, 2007

Yeah, I Can Do a Grapevine

So, after my last two posts about pigging out and falling backwards into a pile of sugary doughnuts right off the Weight Watcher wagon, my loving sister sent me an inspirational email that got me right back on track. I had been planning to go to the YMCA for a class yesterday afternoon, but I had almost talked myself out of it because it was rainy and nasty. Oh no! I was going to that class! I was going to get in shape, lose weight and look DAMN good!

I changed into my exercise clothes at school, grabbed my water bottle and headed off to class. The only class they had available at a time that worked for me was a Step class with those step platforms, which I absolutely loath. But I figured they would just step part of the time and part of the time we would do some weights, some mat work, etc., so that would be OK. I got to the class and the other people were getting out the steps, but also weights, mats, etc. so I felt pretty good.

Then the class started. Now, people, I can do aerobics. I can do jazzercise. I can dance. Really I can. And I can do the freakin' grapevine. But the moves this tiny, slim, ponytailed instructor was demonstrating were way beyond my capabilities. Luckily, I wasn't the only one. A few women kept up with her but quite a few were as lost as I was. I made a game effort. I kept moving. I began sweating. My hair was matted to my forehead. My heart was pounding. My stomach felt a little queasy. Thank God I was strong and didn't eat those chocolate chip pancakes for lunch. But even the salad wasn't sitting too well.

But you know how it is. You know. You can't just leave. No matter how bad you feel. You have to keep up the pretense that you have a modicum of fitness to your body. You just can't walk out when everyone is exercising. It was a half hour into the class. I was dying. Dying, y'all. And we had a half hour to go.

Then. You are truly not going to believe this. But I swear it's true. At the moment I thought I really couldn't take another step and kick up onto that step from hell one more time, an employee of the YMCA ran into the gym.

"Everybody OUT! OUT, now! There is a severe weather drill! Get away from the windows".

Well, honey, you didn't have to tell me twice. How unfortunate that our exercise class had to be interrupted. Yeah, right. I think I might have heard some angels singing as I grabbed my water bottle and ran into the hall. Luckily, there were seats on the bench. I sat down. I drank water. I listened to the angels sing.

Wait, I don't believe that's really angels. That's wind. It might actually be kind of bad out there.

It WAS pretty bad. Once I left the YMCA, I realized just how bad. Leaves and branches were everywhere. And, y'all! Hail!! Actual hail!!

Now, if that's not a message that I should never take another step class, I just don't know what is.

Hail piled up right outside the garage door at my house.

Yes, that is actually hail on a warm June day!!

Our deck right after the storm. Yep, that's the last step class for me.


Lucy's Mom said...

Clearly a step class is not the right kind of exercise for you. It was definitely a message from above. Try Curves, you'll like it.

Nikky said...

yeah, I have to agree, SOMEONE does not want you stepping!
Do not ignore signs from above... lucky wench! Did it even cloud over last night when I was playing softball and wanted to die right there on 2nd base (after a great hit, I will admit) Hell no! I don't get "stop exercising" messages... I want one darnit!

sarah said...

So funny! I just checked your blog and realized you wrote about the hail too...and with pictures! You put my hail post to shame what with yours including the hand of God!

Heather said...

Oh yeah, those classes are so EVIL. If it makes you feel any better, I thought I was going to pass out after 10 minutes in the medium impact class at Shapes. It was not pretty.

Hope your plants survived, if you planted some!

Boo said...

It's a sign from God for sure! I will tell you that after you go a few times it does get easier. In college (wow, that makes me feel old!) I went to a step class and at first it was horrible. I couldn't keep up, I wanted to die, I would have payed a million dollars for a server weather drill! But after a few times I started to understand her commands and it started to be...dare I say!