Sickening Or Inspirational? You Decide.

Don't forget Try It Tuesday will begin next Tuesday - write your post today!

As I write this, sitting here at the computer in my sleeping pants and bare feet (the only thing that could possibly make me sound any LAZIER is if I was eating some chocolate and had not showered. I am clean, but mmmmm....chocolate), I can hear my husband RUNNING ON THE TREADMILL downstairs. RUNNING. RRRRUUUUNNNNIIIINNNNGGG. Can you stand it?

He decided he needed to lose some weight so he cut back on his eating and started walking on our treadmill again. Simple. The other night I heard him down there (I was not sitting in my recliner watching "Steel Magnolias" and eating some ice cream. OK. I was.) and it actually sounded like he was running instead of walking. So I asked him when he came upstairs in his gym shorts and t-shirt drenched in sweat. And yep. He was RUNNING. On the treadmill.

Let me just share with you that I HAVE WALKED on the treadmill this summer. Yes I have. Once. One time. And now that I think about it, that's actually quite a bit more embarrassing than not walking on it at all. Because one time sounds. Pretty darn lame.

I think I need some chocolate. Or possibly some ice cream.

Or both.

Check out my Herald-Leader post this morning: On The Patio At Merrick Inn

Shocking Behavior

Have you heard about this? Apparently, there is a new sports bra with sensors built in that can determine your heart rate and send it to a watch you can wear, so that you can keep up your heart rate when exercising. If you are insanely in shape, like me, check out this bra at: http://www.numetrex.com/about/the-system

I am here to tell you that this is not an item of clothing I will EVER be purchasing.

The most I ask of my sports bras, which, as you know, I wear as often as I exercise which is often once in a while never whenever I realize I have, indeed, eaten an entire Whitman's Sampler, is to provide me a little support.

Not to electronically provide me with information. And really. Don't you think this is just asking for trouble? Next they will be making a sports bra that will actually talk to you. "HEY. YOU. Put DOWN the brownie and get back in there and walk on that treadmill." Or, wait!

I know. Next they will make a sports bra that will give you a tiny shock whenever you pick up a an iced sugar cookie.

This could be very, very bad for me. This could easily result in a situation where someone will find me sprawled on the floor of my kitchen, shocked to death.

With a cookie in each hand.

Just Call Me Yoga Bear

OK, so I'm doing Yoga now.


That may be just a slight stretch of the truth. Actually, I have done Yoga exactly twice. The first time, I was in a little bit of a hurry so I just completed about 1/2 hour of the DVD, of which about ten minutes consisted of this woman walking in the dessert in her white leotard, stretching lazily and contemplating the meaning of life while she explained Yoga. I sat cross-legged and watched this, thinking "Damn, Yoga is really easy."


Yesterday, I actually had time to complete the whole Yoga DVD and...damn...Yoga is hard. I thought Yoga was like stretching and doing poses and stuff. I thought it would be nice and fairly easy and a break from doing the strenuous dancing exercises on my other DVD. (YES, I am doing some classes at the Y, stop bugging me, this is just when I can't make it there. Like when we have hail.) So we were stretching and leaning and, in the beginning, when she said "Now, slow down your breathing", I thought "Slow down? What do you mean? I'm juuuuuusssst fine!" Then, after about ten minutes, I realized what she meant when I had to slow down my fast, tortured breathing.


Then, she was like "Now, if you feel a burning in your knees, you can put a rolled up blanket under your bottom." Guess who needed a rolled up blanket under her bottom? The best part of the DVD was at the very end when I got to lie down flat and take a little mini-nap to relax.


So, here's the thing. I was exercising in a t-shirt and sweat pants. She was exercising in this skin-tight white leotard and tights. She just looked a whole lot better than me. When she did the poses, her body looked all smooth and lean and straight. Mine looked kind of hunched over and crooked.


And here's the conclusion I came to. It's the clothes! I think I need some Yoga clothes. I think that would help me tremendously. I think my Yoga poses would improved immensely. So, tomorrow, I'm going shopping for a skin-tight leotard. I'll do my Yoga DVD later.


I promise.

Yeah, I Can Do a Grapevine

So, after my last two posts about pigging out and falling backwards into a pile of sugary doughnuts right off the Weight Watcher wagon, my loving sister sent me an inspirational email that got me right back on track. I had been planning to go to the YMCA for a class yesterday afternoon, but I had almost talked myself out of it because it was rainy and nasty. Oh no! I was going to that class! I was going to get in shape, lose weight and look DAMN good!

I changed into my exercise clothes at school, grabbed my water bottle and headed off to class. The only class they had available at a time that worked for me was a Step class with those step platforms, which I absolutely loath. But I figured they would just step part of the time and part of the time we would do some weights, some mat work, etc., so that would be OK. I got to the class and the other people were getting out the steps, but also weights, mats, etc. so I felt pretty good.

Then the class started. Now, people, I can do aerobics. I can do jazzercise. I can dance. Really I can. And I can do the freakin' grapevine. But the moves this tiny, slim, ponytailed instructor was demonstrating were way beyond my capabilities. Luckily, I wasn't the only one. A few women kept up with her but quite a few were as lost as I was. I made a game effort. I kept moving. I began sweating. My hair was matted to my forehead. My heart was pounding. My stomach felt a little queasy. Thank God I was strong and didn't eat those chocolate chip pancakes for lunch. But even the salad wasn't sitting too well.

But you know how it is. You know. You can't just leave. No matter how bad you feel. You have to keep up the pretense that you have a modicum of fitness to your body. You just can't walk out when everyone is exercising. It was a half hour into the class. I was dying. Dying, y'all. And we had a half hour to go.

Then. You are truly not going to believe this. But I swear it's true. At the moment I thought I really couldn't take another step and kick up onto that step from hell one more time, an employee of the YMCA ran into the gym.

"Everybody OUT! OUT, now! There is a severe weather drill! Get away from the windows".

Well, honey, you didn't have to tell me twice. How unfortunate that our exercise class had to be interrupted. Yeah, right. I think I might have heard some angels singing as I grabbed my water bottle and ran into the hall. Luckily, there were seats on the bench. I sat down. I drank water. I listened to the angels sing.

Wait, I don't believe that's really angels. That's wind. It might actually be kind of bad out there.

It WAS pretty bad. Once I left the YMCA, I realized just how bad. Leaves and branches were everywhere. And, y'all! Hail!! Actual hail!!

Now, if that's not a message that I should never take another step class, I just don't know what is.

Hail piled up right outside the garage door at my house.

Yes, that is actually hail on a warm June day!!

Our deck right after the storm. Yep, that's the last step class for me.