Thursday, May 31, 2007

Five Minutes

I'm just a little tiny bit anal about going to the movies. I like to be there at least 15-20 minutes early and even earlier if it's a really popular movie. I like to sit about 1/3 of the way back, preferably with one of the railings in front of me so I can put my feet up. I like to sit close to the aisle, but not actually on the aisle, in case I need to go to the bathroom. I would NEVER come in after the previews. I would never say "The movie has already started but that's OK. Let's just go on in anyway." Never. That's horrifying.

We went to see "Spiderman 3" on Sunday. And incidentally? If you haven't seen this movie yet, you should see it. Ignore the bad reviews. It's very good. This perspective may owe something to the fact that we have been so immersed in "Smallville" lately that we are totally open to the whole comic-book genre. The idea that good vs. evil and good will always triumph; that if you truly love someone, you will do anything to protect them; and, finally, that there are many different extremely unlikely scientific processes which, when an individual is exposed to them, will cause various improbable but fascinating mutations. You will have to completely suspend your disbelief that a scientific organization would actually be conducting a physics experiement in an open pit that a person could literally fall into and that their equipment would not be able to tell that a man and not a bird has gotten trapped in there. Forget all that. Just enjoy the powerful message about the importance love and friendship plays in our lives.

So, the movie was on at 3:30. I wanted to leave at 3:00 to get there at 3:10 and parked and in our seats by 3:15 at the latest. Yes, I calculate all this out. Yes, I am obsessive. But Tom has known this for 30 years now. So, when he was not upstairs and in the shower at 2:55, I was getting perturbed. I told him he should ALREADY be in the shower, we have to LEAVE soon!!!

And he casually said "Don't worry, I can be ready in FIVE MINUTES."

Five minutes. Right. Nobody can get ready in five minutes. Nobody. It is humanly impossible to take a shower and get dressed in five minutes. So I said "That will be 3:01. There is no way you can be ready by 3:01. You are going to make me LATE FOR THE MOVIE. So, I sat down and waited. I tapped my foot. I checked my watch. I fumed.

And he came out, clean and dressed with his watch on and his keys jingling in his pocket.

It was 3:01.

We made it in plenty of time.


LanternLight said...

It wasn't a bad film, but I don't know if I'd see it again.

Anonymous said...

Yes, and after 30 years, you still DOUBT ME?

As I've said many times, I think you'll find "I'm right about a great MANY things..."


Anonymous said...

Men...gotta lov'em


Lucy's Mom said...

The Spouse can also get ready in 5 minutes. I have no idea how anyone can even take a shower in less than 10-15 minutes, however, she can shower, dress and be ready to leave in 5-10 minutes. Me? Give me an hour at least. I COULD move faster but I usually don't, so I just allow an hour prep time when we are going somewhere. She says the Army taught her to get ready very very quickly. So how did Tom learn??

Nikky said...

My hubby does that too, as much as I appreciate his efforts, keeping us on schedule, it still does annoy the heck out of me! How is that possible??
I simply cannot do a "shower and ready" in under 15 minutes, and that is REALLY pushing it!

(thanks for the movie review, too, my 13 yr old loved it, but I do not take movie advice from someone who loved Napolean Dynamite and Borat!)