SLLLLUUUUUTTTT!

I have no bra on. At this very moment, I have no bra on. And it's not like I'm at home, relaxing on the couch with a good book and in my lounging clothes - no, I'm at work! I feel like a slut! But it's not my fault. My bra broke! The fastener that allows you to tighten or loosen the strap just snapped. I noticed something was scratching me during my last class and I kept tugging at my bra because it felt so loose. Luckily, the kindergarten class thought nothing of it. These are individuals who will reach right into their pants and scratch without a care in the world.

When they left, I kept adjusting but something was DIGGING in to my shoulder, so, suddenly, I found myself with my entire hand and arm up my shirt, pulling at my bra. I came to my senses and realized that I was standing in the middle of the library and anyone could walk in. So, I went to the bathroom, undressed and checked on the situation. It was irredeemable. The fastener had snapped in half and actually pinged to the floor when I pulled up my shirt. The other half was gouging into my shoulder. It had to go.

I took my turtleneck completely off and removed my bra, then slipped the shirt back on. Then I darted across the hall, concerned that someone was going to see me with my underwear in my hand, and stuffed it in my purse.

Luckily, I am wearing a blazer today over my turtleneck. Because my boobs? Are like two fat little puppies wrestling under a sheet. I don't think anyone wants to see that.

What a strange experience to go without a bra all day at school, being professional and all that. It's like I have a secret. I could flash the UPS man if I wanted to. I don't want to.

I'm just saying. I could.