Wednesday, January 7, 2009

You're Invited To A Party. Make Sure You Wear New Underwear.

So, I went shopping the day after Christmas. I KNOW. I'm totally a breakneck adventurer with a desire to dance THIS CLOSE to death.

I got some great deals. But here's the problem. I bought socks at one store because I totally needed some cute new socks (I did not.) and then I went to another store where they had socks EVEN CHEAPER so I bought some more because I was truly in desperate need of socks (I was not.). Then I went to a store that was going out of business and they had the bras I love so I bought three because I desperately needed new bras (I did not.). Then I went to a store that had 33% off their sleeping pants and then an extra 40% off which, even though as you know I am the FURTHEST THING from a math wizard, is a great deal, so I bought every color they had. Except the pink. Which was regular price. And who pays regular price on the day after Christmas? Not me. So I put them back. But I bought the others because I desperately needed sleeping pants. (I did not.)

So. Are you keeping track? Why not? You didn't DOZE OFF during my recitation of the items purchased on this shopping trip, which did I forget to add? Took ALL DAY. So. Socks. Underwear. Pajamas.

Basically, nobody will even know that I bought something new. Except Tom. Who, when I ask him how something looks, will turn to me, slightly squint his eyes, which apparently aids with helping to remember, God help him, that he should diplomatically answer "Does this make my butt look like a Mack truck?" with "Looks good."

So, just for your information, I am having a party. Where I will wear my new socks, underwear and sleeping pants. And some sort of top. God. Get your mind out of the gutter.

And everyone will tell me how great I look and is that new and those socks are DARLING and what a great shopper you are!

You're invited. Make sure you wear your new socks. And underwear, of course. I WILL be checking.

Updated to add: I went shopping again. I bought a new TRASH CAN for my kitchen. I know. The excitement in my life has reached UNPARALLELED HEIGHTS.

4 comments:

Natalie said...

Yeah that is the downside to new underwear...no one gets to see it.

Lynda said...

lol - your post is great!

Anjie said...

Your husband squints...whenever I ask how something looks my husband puts his hand above his eyes as though shielding them from the sun. Then he squints. He does this even if there is only a bedside lamp on. So weird. Maybe it's a defense mechanism so we can see what their eyes are really thinking?

Anjie said...

*can't* see is what i mean to type