My Purse Is Fabulous

I went to a purse party last week. Have you been to one of these? Where they have all these designer purses just piled willy-nilly in someone's living room and they are for sale at these ridiculously low prices and you truly WANT TO BELIEVE they are actually designer purses but somewhere in the back of your mind that is not influenced by the shiny, shiny buckles and smooth, lovely smelling leather, you know they probably are not actually made by little Italian fingers in the real Dolce and Gabbana factory in Italy. Or in India. Or wherever they really make those purses.

We were warned that people get a little excited at these parties and there might possibly be some pushing and some shoving and that, much like a garage sale, if you see a purse you like, you had darn well better pick that sucker up because if someone else picks it up and you should happen to say something like "Uh, excuse me, I was just going to pick that up", you can forget it sister. That purse is history. Or, to be completely technical, herstory.

But when it came down to it, my daughter was the only one doing any shoving and that's just because she got a little overly excited and she apologized immediately for knocking me to the floor. Not really. It was her cousin she knocked to the floor. OK. You got me. Nobody was actually knocked to the floor.

However. At one point, I did have four purses hanging from my arms because I couldn't quite decide and I was NOT ABOUT to let someone else pick up the one purse I had decided I could not live the rest of my life without owning. Just as soon as I decided which one that was.

So we bought our purses and we came home and each of us proceeded to instantly transfer our stuff to our new purse and caress it lovingly and speak nicely to it in a low, throaty murmur. Or maybe that was just me.

And when I chose the clothes to wear the next day, it was a COMPLETE COINCIDENCE that my outfit matched my new purse perfectly and set it off beautifully. A total COINCIDENCE.

And I did NOT carry it around all day and show it to every single one of my friends and, just possibly, open the cabinet where it was stored and pet it several times.

Oh. You KNOW I did.