If You Give The Librarian A Bagel (With Apologies to Laura Numeroff)

If you give a librarian a bagel, she is going to want some cream cheese.



If you put cream cheese on the bagel, she's going to want a plate.



If you take the bagel with cream cheese on a plate to eat in the car on the way to work, she will want to balance it on top of the glass container of salad you are taking to work to share for lunch.



If you go around a corner JUST a little too sharply, the bagel plate will begin to slide towards the passenger door.



If you try to catch the bagel on a plate with one hand while driving with the other, your fingers will just catch the edge of the plate, but then it will sliiiiiiide off the salad container and plop down between the seat and the passenger door.



If you pull over and open the passenger door to try to rescue your breakfast, the plate will tip over and dump the bagel neatly onto the pavement at your feet.



If you feel very, very annoyed that your raisin cinnamon bagel with cream cheese is now bird food, cheer up.



School has not started yet. You can be a little late. You can get a cinnamon roll with icing on your way to work. You immediately cheer up.



If you give a librarian a cinnamon roll. Well...she's pretty happy. And she won't want that old bagel.



But if you give a librarian a bagel with cream cheese. Put it on a napkin. Maybe it won't make an escape that way.