Wednesday, August 8, 2007

“Grandchildren are God's way of compensating us for growing old.”

-Mary H. Waldrip

I thought I understood how the other grandmother felt. How it must be so difficult for her, being so far away from her only grandchild. Only seeing him a few times a year. I put myself in her position and felt her pain and sorrow and my heart hurt for her. Or so I thought.

This weekend, she was in town for a visit. We didn't get to see Wes at all. Liz posted some photos on her blog yesterday. The other grandmother with the perfect boy. I have spent a lot of time with him this summer, so I feel especially close to him right now. Even more so than usual. And when I saw her holding him in her lap, I felt...sad is not a strong enough word. Anguish. Pain. My heart literally hurt in my chest. It HURT. I don't feel jealous. It's not that kind of pain. I am willing to share him. I know it's good for him to have lots of people who think he is the most perfect child on earth. But I missed him. I wanted to touch his face. Kiss his cheek and his neck. Hear him laugh. And it hurt that I couldn't.

And that's how she feels. Every day. Every single day.

I thought I understood how the other grandmother felt. But I was stupid. Stupid. I was smug in my understanding of her pain. I realize now I had no idea. I'm so sorry, Alice.


Anonymous said...

Yeah, I miss him too...


Anonymous said...

I've gotten behind with reading your blogspot. This certainly brought tears to my eyes! And yes, it's so true. It's so hard to leave and not know how long until I see him again. I have many pictures of him as my screen saver at work - sometimes it gets me through the day. That adorable, lovable little man.
Thanks Jan - it means a lot. Look forward to seeing you in November!