Tuesday, April 3, 2007

I Am Woman; Hear Me Roar

I cut my bangs this morning. They were getting a little shaggy and just starting that catch-my-eyelashes-when-I-blink annoying thing they do. So I brushed them down, took the manicure scissors and trimmed them to right below my eyebrows. Because I have learned from painful experience that they draw up when they dry and will expose half of my painfully shiny forehead if I'm not careful.

I would never have cut my own bangs when I was in high school. For one thing, I can't cut straight. I know better than to trim a photograph to go in a frame. I'll end up with a picture of someone's eye and half their nose. For another, I would not have had the confidence to start hacking on my hair. Now, I think nothing of it. They may be a little shaggy and slightly crooked - that's fine. It goes with my spiky, short blondish/reddish hair. I don't stress about it.

I can do a lot of stuff now. Stuff I never would have thought I could do when I was young. I wouldn't even pick up the phone and make an appointment to get my hair cut. I was too shy. Too painfully shy. They might ask me a question I couldn't answer. NOOOOOO. So, my mom did it for me.

Now, I make plans for trips across the planet. I book airline tickets, make hotel reservations, buy tickets online for Broadway shows, reserve cabins on cruise ships, plan excursions on float planes, find my way around strange airports. I have climbed a waterfall in Jamaica, flown over a glacier in Alaska, snorkeled in the Cayman Islands, trekked in a rain forest in Belize. I have flown to California all by myself, rented a car, then driven around Monterey figuring out where everything was located. When I went back the next year with my sister-in-law, we got in the rental car and I drove downtown to a restaurant I wanted to share with her. No problem. She was suitably impressed. If you had told me when I was younger that I would travel to strange places and be responsible for the planning, I would have cried at the responsibility. But I can do it now.

I have gone back to school in my thirties and gotten a degree in Education so I could teach; something I had always wanted to do. If you had told me when I was younger that I would present at professional conferences, standing up in front of a large audience with confidence and poise, I would have cried at the exposure. But I can do it now.

I have mentored other librarians who were working on obtaining their National Board for Professional Teaching Standards certification, because I already have mine. If you had told me when I was younger that I would be this honored, I would have cried at the thought of failure. But I can do it now.

So, I can cut my bangs.

And it kind of makes me wonder.

What else can I do?


Anonymous said...

I was Very impressed!!

You go girl... and go... and go...

Love you,

charing said...

You are like the little engine that could.............I know you can ,I know you can

Anonymous said...

"Can you fly....(?)"

".....guess not..."


Barbara Barr said...

You go, girl! Growing older ain't all bad! I can't believe you were ever so shy. I sure think of you as having so much confidence!