Was My Face Red

Please don't be surprised if you hear I have disembowled my husband with a grapefruit spoon. This happened the other day.

Me: (Sitting on the toilet in the downstairs half bath which HE uses most of the time) What the...there's no toilet paper. THERE'S NO TOILET PAPER!

Him: Oh, yeah. Heh. I meant to put some more in there.

Me: Well, get me me some for God's sake. (mumble, mumble, unprintable obscenities)

Him: Uh, yeah. Just a sec. Let me get to a point where I can pause this game. (!)

Me: (Drip drying.) Please HURRY!

Him: Oh, yeah. Heh. OK.

Me: More unprintable obscenities.

But then, last night, there was this.

"So." He said. "Since you don't have anything planned for Saturday, maybe we could have a day together."

Saturdays are normally cleaning days, laundry days, mani/pedi days, lunch out days, baby-sitting days and pretty much anything else I can cram in there days. But this Saturday was, actually, pretty free.

"Oh, yeah?" I replied sarcastically. "You mean, I can do laundry, clean the bathrooms, make lunch - while you sit and play on the computer?"

"Well, actually," he replied quietly. "I was thinking we could go out for lunch and then see a movie together."

Imagine my chagrin.