Wednesday, January 24, 2007

Slowly, Slowly, Slowly

I mistakenly thought I could get away with not wearing my retainers for several nights. I had braces put on my teeth as an adult. I had always hated my crooked teeth so, when I was in my late 40's and we had paid off braces for two kids, I had them put on. The didn't come off until I was 50, but I didn't care. I knew everyone was super-aware of my crooked teeth. In reality, nobody noticed them but me. I had to keep telling people that I got braces because of my crooked teeth. "Really? I never noticed." This is why people get Anorexia. They see a fat person in the mirror, no matter how thin they get. I saw nothing but my crooked teeth. People do notice how straight and white they are now, though. My hairdresser commented on them the other day. Of course, she does like a tip, but...

Anyway. I have to wear retainers every night to keep them straight. I got kind of casual about it just recently. I went one night. Then two. Then several. When I put them back in last night...ow. They kinda hurt. And this morning. Yeah, my teeth were sore. Apparently, as soon as the retainers are forgotten, my teeth make a valiant effort to return to their previously crooked state.

This is not something one could observe. It happens slowly, slowly, slowly. Like your hair turning gray. The leaves changing color on the trees. The years slipping away.

My daughter called last night to tell us Wes took his first steps. I rocked him to sleep when he was a newborn. Wasn't that just recently? I took him to the pool when he was a few months old and dipped him as he smiled. Wasn't that just recently? I watched him learn to smile, sit up, crawl, laugh out loud, eat pancakes and beat a spoon on the tupperware. Wasn't that just recently? He was bald, then he had some blond hair, then his hair was thick and soft, soft, soft when you buried your nose in it.

Time passes slowly, slowly, slowly. But Wes is walking.

And time is going too fast.