Wednesday, June 4, 2008

From Now On, I'm Buying All My Clothes At Wal-Mart. And Then I'm Going Swimming In The CEEment Pond.

A lot of the blogs I read talk about shopping at Target. Target, Target, Target. Target has the cutest clothes, I just got the cutest dress at Target and these new shorts? Darling!

Well, pah on Target. Every time I go to Target and try something on, it doesn't look good. Never cute. Evah. So I don't care what anyone says about Wal-mart. (or as my friend Terry calls it, THE Wal-mart) THEY are the ones with the cute clothes.
Back when I had a serious jones for sleeping pants, I went to Wal-mart and found all kinds of cute cotton, stretchy t-shirts in long and short sleeve. My only regret is that I forgot my longtime rule and did not buy them in every color. By the time I went back, they were gone. Fashion sigh. (which is totally unlike a normal sigh and is more plaintive)

I was grocery shopping in Wal-mart the other day and noticed all these really cute tops and shorts and skirts and it was all I could do to remember that I really needed to buy milk and eggs and could not buy tops and shorts and skirts on this particular visit. So I went back. And shopped my little heart out.

Who remembers scooter skirts? Raise your hand. Ah, my peeps. You are either very knowledgeable about your fashion history or you went to high school with me in 1971. And, when I Googled scooter skirts, to show you what I was talking about, I got this site. Really. Not what I was talking about AT ALL. This is more like it. And, strangely enough, that is EXACTLY what my legs looked like back then.

Anyway. Apparently, they are called skorts now and are once again stylish. Which happens with all my clothes. If only I had saved all those scooter skirts. Although that would not help me now because my waist was approximately the size of a 3 year old child when I was 18. So, I found some skorts at Wal-mart.

Darling? I should THINK so.

They are SHORTS but they look like a SKIRT. Get it? You can look like you are wearing a SKIRT but you are wearing SHORTS. In case you don't get it, here is a diagram.

Then I found these tops. They are all cotton, but it is a soft, stretchy cotton and, based on my experience with the other tops I bought there, they will stay nice and new looking even after being washed several times. I found a yellow one with really cute tucks in the front.

And, you do know me right? Buy them in every color is my fashion motto.

Cute, solid color v-neck t-shirts. This white is really nice because it's not paper-thin.

I bought the navy and will have to go to another Wal-mart to get the black. I didn't buy the red because I already have a red one, but WHAT WAS I THINKING? Of course, I need a backup red one. In case of a fashion emergency.

Then found these t-shirts in really cute bright color stripes. And now that I think about it, I might have forgotten to buy a couple of colors. I'll have to check back.

No, that is not two red striped tops. What do you take me for? Someone who is a little obsessed? Those are RED and RUST. Gah. They are TOTALLY different.

And. Isn't it nice when you get home and what you have bought actually matches something you already have? Remember all those capris? Well, my other fashion motto is "When you buy it in every color, you will eventually find something to match it." See?

I was a little hesitant about this top because I am JUST SLIGHTLY past the age when I want people to think I am PREGNANT and a lot of these smock tops have a tendency to do that. But this one has tucks and lies nice and flat.

They had two colors, so do I need to say it?

And, in a nice conclusion to a story about fashion. The slate green top matched the slate green/white checked capris for which I thought I would NEVER find something to match.

So, in conclusion, my two fashion rules. Print them out and put them on your refrigerator. Because I am a FASHION GODDESS. And now my daughter is LAUGHING OUT LOUD.

1. If it fits, buy it in every color.
2. If you buy it in every color, eventually you will have things that match.

But now that I am thinking about it. I don't have ANY slate green shoes. This is completely unacceptable. Completely.

The tops are all Faded Glory and the skorts are White Stag. They are all available on Wal-mart online for minimal shipping costs. Just search for women's apparel. Let me know if you buy some and what you think. And let me know if you buy them in every color. It will make me feel better.


Anonymous said...

I love your new are so fabulous. Can I go thru your goodwill items before you drop them off? You must have a ton of clothes in every color. How could you have room for them all? vj

Anonymous said...

Nice duds!
I completely agree about Target, NOTHING fits right from there!

Sarah Yadon said...

Such a fun blog! I've been busy reading all the blogs! So I haven't read your blogs over here in a while! Now i'm catching up! I love it! You're so witty and entertaining! Also, you got some REALLY cute clothes! Way to go! :)

Niki said...

Ours always gets cute stuff in the summer, but the winter clothes...notsomuch!

Capris and cute tops aplenty, though, I agree with you!