Friday, July 6, 2007

I Could Have...

First thing - I was reviewed at Ask and Ye Shall Receive today. Got an average review. I was prepared to be slaughtered, so that's OK.

I was reading my sister's blog the other day and she had a meme with eight things about her. The one that got me to thinking was the one about her dogs. My family was always a bunch of animal lovers. My brothers and my sister all have animals and even my children and my nieces all have animals. Tom and I are just about the only ones that don't have animals. I had dogs and cats when I was younger and I even had a cat when we got married. But Tom has allergies and is simply not an animal lover, so that's something that was just put aside. At this point in my life, I am fine with it. We find ourselves traveling a lot and I have my house fixed the way I want it and, frankly, I'm a little too fastidious to have animals in my home now. I cleaned up dog poop and cat vomit for years and thought nothing about it but now I don't really want to deal with that.

But, here's the thing. It got me to thinking about how my life might have been different if I had married someone who loved animals.

One of my favorite movies is Sliding Doors, with Gwyneth Paltrow. The basic premise is that she catches the train and her life turns out one way; she doesn't catch the train and her life turns out a completely different way. One tiny event. Big changes. I think about that often, how a person's life could be so different.

I could have had animals if I had married someone who loved animals. We would have dogs and cats in our house, I am sure of it. I would love them and deal with them and I wouldn't think anything about it. We would have just always had animals and my life would not be any different. I would not know it could be any different.

I could have camped and owned an RV if I married someone different. One of my good friends and her husband own a big RV and travel the country in it. Tom and I were talking about it the other night and just laughed at how awful it would be. We like hotels. We like flying. But, I camped when I was younger. I can camp. I can cook over a campfire. I could travel in an RV and live in it and cook in it and see the country and I would not know any different. I would have been fine with it.

I could have been more active if I had married someone who enjoyed that. I never really liked organized sports but I could have hiked and run and learned archery, although I would never, in any of my lives, have done sky-diving. Although, who knows. Maybe I wouldn't be afraid of heights in another life.

I could have been a gardener if I had married someone who liked gardening. I could have a vegetable garden and a flower garden for cut flowers and I could have canned vegetables for the winter. If I had someone who was into that.

There are probably other things I could have done. Would have done if I had married someone else.

But here's the important thing. The things that I did, the life that I chose, the man that I married - have all made me the person I am today. I don't have animals but I have the children he lovingly gave me and raised with me. (Yes, they also involved quite a bit of poop and vomit clean up.) I don't go camping or travel in an RV, but we fly around the world and cruise and I have seen an iceberg and climbed a waterfall. We don't camp but we have stayed in a luxury hotel in New York City and a Victorian bed and breakfast in Seattle. We are not very active but we enjoy movies and TV and the computer. Together. And we are are going to get active. Very soon. We keep promising each other. I don't have a garden or plant flowers but that's mainly because I'm lazy. Not because he is not remotely interested in that.

So, it's interesting to think about. I could have done a lot of things differently if I had married someone else.

But then. Here's another thing. So could he. He could come up with his own list of things he could have done differently. But I'm really glad he did things the way he did. And married me. I wouldn't change a thing. Even if I could.


Atomic Fireballs said...

FYI, you were reviewed today at our place.

Boo said...

I think about that sometimes too. The choices we make that effect our entire lives...husbands, jobs, where we settle's crazy to think how one decision can impact so much!!

Lucy's Mom said...

I think about these kinds of things too, the "what might have been stuff". I think I will write about it as well as it "feels" like a post in my world also. I think I would have liked that dog owning, RV driving, camping, gardening, canning woman a lot. She would be more like me. However, as different as we are, you are my beloved sister and I would not change you a bit. I love you just as you are.

Fancy said...

I love all of you JUST as you are.

I'm so glad that I saw you and your Mom in Big K that day and she told me that I just couldn't marry "that other guy" because I was supposed to be "her" daughter-in-law.

She was right!


Nikky said...

I've done this, too, had those "what if" trains of thought about my life... I think you, and I turned out as we should have. Things happen the way they happen for a reason, I truly believe that.

utenzi said...

Nice post, Mrs Who. I've seen several alternate time type films lately (Deja Vu with Denzel Washington and Frequency with Dennis Quaid) and it's a topic that can really get you to thinking. Of course it's been a favorite topic in literature for centuries with SF really focusing on it. You bring a very personal tough to the idea of choices and their repercussions.