Maybe We Shouldn't Call MENSA After All

So, Wes and I have been going to ART CLASS. I think that totally needed to be in capitol letters, because really. Art class. With a toddler. How fancy can ya get? With his mom's approval, I signed him for an art class at the Living Arts and Sciences Center which is kind of like yuppie central for classes for children. I have longed to take my children to classes there for years but seriously. $60 for a week long class? When my children were small, that might as well have been $6,000. It was that far from our financial capability.

Now that we have a grandson, $60 is nothing. We spend that much on kee-kees (cookies, you nit) for him in a week. OK, not really. His mom already thinks we give him too many kee-kees at our house. But we don't. (yes, we do.)

So. ART CLASS. I was totally naive the first day because, well, wouldn't you be? Here's the description of the class:
64. Our Forest Friends With Michelle Newby Armstrong We will learn about the different animals that live in the forest through art, stories, songs, and games. We will learn about plants and insects from the forest, too.Ages 18 - 24 mo + Parent 9 - 10 am $50(m), $60(nm).

So, I'm thinking, like stories and games and stuff. And maybe some coloring with crayons? I was going to lunch with a friend after the class so I had on a darling (of course) green capri set with matching green shoes (but you knew that) and was made up and primped up and good to go for a chick lunch outing. And then they got out the paint and the paper and the glue sticks. Crap. I managed to hold him at arm's length while we dipped the leaves into paint and not get any on me. The other mothers who were dressed casually in jeans and t-shirts (and $1,000 diamond bracelets) gazed disdainfully down their noses at me. I could see they were wondering just what kind of grandmother I was all DRESSED UP for ART CLASS.

I got smart the next day and dressed much more casually. Good thing. Because she got out the paint and THE PAINT BRUSHES. God. But it was OK. Wes grasped the paintbrush and dipped it into the blue paint, all ready to paint his plant pot we were planting with flower seeds, oh so natural and talented. My heart was swelling with love for this natural little artist, so ready to paint his little clay pot. He is such a genius. Maybe he will grow up to be a famous painter. I can see it now. His artwork will hang in museums and I will go visit and hang out by the framed, famous works, and casually examine my fingernails and say "Oh, me? I'm just the artist's grandmother. I took him to his first ART CLASS, you know. It's thanks TO ME that he is famous and rich now."

He held up the paint brush, dripping with bright blue paint, getting ready to dab the pot and create a masterpiece.

Then, he stuck the paintbrush in his mouth and attempted to eat the blue paint.

I bet his mom never even noticed. I'm sure I got it all washed off. Except that little bit in his hair. Never be noticed. I'm sure.