Put the Top Down!

I'm cool. I'm suave. I'm sophisticated. Shut UP. OK, I'm actually none of those things, but I make an attempt to fake everyone out. Especially on vacation, when nobody really knows me. My daughter, Liz, and I went on a vacation to Punta Cana a few years ago. Yeah, the site of the painful horseback riding episode. We had done a lot of research about the location and knew that the beach in front of our hotel was a topless beach. We both thought we might, just possibly, go for it. So, I bought a two piece bathing suit, put it in my suitcase just in case and we headed off to our tropical oasis.

The afternoon of the first day we took a little walking tour of the resort and got into a conversation with one of the friendly, young, male employees who told us about the best places to shop. The next morning, we geared up for our topless adventure. I was still unsure about whether I would actually remove my bathing suit top but, when we got to the beach, there were lots of other women topless. They were relaxed and casual about it, walking on the beach and swimming without a care in the world. Liz and I exchanged a glance and we both reached behind us to undo our tops. Unless you have done something like this, you just can't imagine how strange it feels to be sitting there in just your bathing suit bottoms in front of a bunch of strangers on a public beach. It's very...freeing.

Of course, my daughter looked a LITTLE better than me in her little bikini bottoms, but there were women who looked much worse than me struttin' their stuff on the beach, so I looked pretty good in comparison. We were not quite bold enough to walk on the beach or swim, but we did sit there, just all topless and everything. We were just so UNBELIEVABLY cool.

Until the employee we had talked to the day before came over, greeted us and sat down on the end of my lounge chair to have a little chat. This guy was completely unfazed by our semi-nudity. He had seen it all, every day in his job. It was no big deal. He was just chattin' away, completely oblivious. Liz and I froze. We were...we were...topless! And he was sitting there talking to us. It was, without a doubt, the most...interesting...experience of my life. I can't say that I was really embarrassed because he was completely matter-of-fact, plus we were surrounded by other women in the same topless mode. But it was definitely...strange.

After he left, I put my top back on and went to the room to get us some drinks and fresh towels. On the way back, I stopped and picked us up some snacks at the buffet. One of the servers engaged me in conversation. In Spanish. I answered in my elementary, college-era Spanish. And we carried on an actual conversation. As I walked away, I felt strong. Empowered. Speaking in Spanish to someone? Huh. I had talked to a complete stranger while sun bathing topless on the beach.

I could freakin' do ANYTHING.