Did You Know There Are A Lot Of Black Shoes?

Still working on the shoe project for the wedding. Black. Strappy. Beaded. And, until you are looking for a pair of black sandals? You may not realize how many there are in the world. And many are...quite awful. Like these.

Unless you live in Hollywood. Then those are PERFECTLY FINE.

You might require a pimp if you wear these.

These are kind of cute. I like the t-strap. But no. I want sandals that are strappy.

These are cute but straps were hard and hurt my feet. I will suffer for fashion but if they hurt for two minutes in the store, you are in for a night of agony. That's a little too much suffering.

Ooooh, fluffy! Completely inappropriate. But cute anyway.

LOVE the bow on the toe. But I have a pair that are very similar to these...

And. These are black and strappy. If only those rhinestones were BEADS instead.

OMG, these are SO DARLING. But completely wrong for the occasion AND the dress.

And, at this point, I got completely distracted by the sale shoes and a DARLING pair of pink sandals. Time to go home. Maybe one of those three pairs of black sandals I already have at home would work after all...

Stumble It!

Completely IMPRACTICAL. But I DON'T CARE.

So, I told you about how I went to Payless and bought these darling ballet flats which I love and adore and plan to wear every day, just as soon as I buy some pants that are short enough. And possibly some ribbed tights because I don't think I can wear my cute trouser socks with them. And this is exactly how a fashion domino effect happens.

While I was at Payless, I found another pair of DARLING shoes. They were completely impractical. Ridiculous, really. They were orange which goes with nothing I own. They were sandals and it is fall. They had straps with buckles, which I really hate to mess with. I couldn't find another pair I liked, so I would have had to pay full price, instead of getting the BOGO deal.

So, I was strong. I put them back on the shelf, bought the ballet flats I had come for, and went home.

And then I went back the next day and bought them.

And, really.

Wouldn't you?

Check out my Herald-Leader post today and win a free book: Staying Healthy - Books For Children

The Agony of DEFEET

My feet have been begging to write their own post for quite some time now. For a while, I ignored them but they kept clamoring and whining and trying to get into my brain until, finally, I just gave in and let them write. Figuratively, of course, not literally. Because. You know. They can't actually type. And when I finally let them speak, it was with a Jamaican accent. I am so very sorry.

Mon. We do NOT like dis Winter. Dis Winter, she is very bad. Dis Winter, she is cold and wet and uncomfortable. Dis Winter make us very unhappy.

We been stuffed into snow boots.

We been smothered in hot slippers.

We been covered in de socks every single day.

Dis not make us happy, mon. Defeet like de Summer much better. De Summer, she is warm and sunny and happy. Defeet like de Summer. Defeet like to swing from the de side of de pool in de turquoise pool water and walk on de squeaky white sand. Defeet like to have no shoes on. Shoes be bad. Boots be bad. Sandals be good. Bare is de best. Bare be heaven, mon. Heaven.

We been tellin' her we need de pedicure. But she don' lissen. Our polish be chippin' mon. We got de dry, crusty patches. Defeet do NOT like de dry crusty patches. Defeet like to be smooth and pink and pretty. And defeet like de peoples to look at us and think we is pretty. We is a little vain, mon. Yes we is.

Good morning, mon! Wake up! Today be de pedicure day.

It be Spring, mon. Spring! Dis be very good time to have de pedicure. Time for de bath. De shower be quick, but de shower not be good for taking pictures of defeet, mon. And we do like to have our pictures taken. Yes, we do.

Aaaaah, we like de hot bath.

Now de pedicure. Thass what we talkin' about, mon.

Scrubby scrubby scrubby on defeet be very good, mon.

And lotion. Yes, mon. Defeet like de lotion. And de massage. Yes, mon. Dat be verrah good.

Now de polish. Orange, mon. Orange be good for Spring. Don't we look verrah good? Yes, we do.

Now we be happy, mon. We be verrah happy. If she would just take us shoe shoppin'. Dat would be de best.