Kiss And Make UP

So, you know how I was having so much trouble finding a good lipstick that was just that right color of pinky/browny mauve, right? Well, you will be thrilled to hear that I finally found it! I gave up on the whole grocery/drug store/trying samples plan and decided to get a complete make-over. Did you know you can get this done totally free? I've had one with Aveda and a couple with Clinique so I have a hodge-podge of makeup that works fairly well for me.

Or at least I thought so until I sat down at the Estee Lauder counter to give it a shot. I'm not a complete moron (OK, apparently I am eye makeup-wise, but more about that later) and I knew they would try to sell me every single product they make but I was wise to them. I could be strong. I could.walk.away.from.the.makeup.counter.

Anyway, I did kind of luck out because at the very moment I arrived, one of their regional makeup artists arrived who was there for the day with a bunch of appointments for make-overs. I had no appointment but she was free, so she proceeded to spend a complete hour on my face. She told me things I believed because other people had just recently told me the same things. The Aveda person had told me my skin was dehydrated. She told me the same thing. Only she spent a lot of time explaining how and why and what I should do about it.


She explained that the Renova prescription cream I was using was actually making the lines around my eyes worse (I wondered about that as I kept slathering on that expensive stuff.) and I should only use it on my skin. That I needed to use an eye cream and I needed to use it morning and night. She also echoed what I had heard about using cream on my face and eyes at night. This is not the first time I have heard that your skin repairs itself and at night and that it needs moisture to do so. If you leave makeup on (not that I EVER do that), it will suck that stuff right into your pores because it is looking for moisture of any kind. That's how you end up with enlarged pores and clogged pores. Oh. OK.

She put various creams and potions on my face and then showed me the mirror. With absolutely no makeup, my face still looked about a zillion times better than it did when I had completely made it up myself. I told her my face felt dry when I used the new Aveda cleanser I was using, so I had to slather on Oil of Olay moisturizer and then my tinted Aveda moisturizer. She informed me (duh) that I should consider switching to something that did not make my face feel tight and dry when I washed it.

So, after the whole cleansing and moisturizing ritual, she put on a tinted moisturizer (I advocate switching to this if you are using foundation - so much lighter and just as nice looking as foundation. It doesn't have to be Estee Lauder - I'm very happy with my Aveda.), then a cream blush and some bronzer. Then, the next bombshell.

Basically, she told me I was an idiot who had been applying my eye makeup wrong for about the last, oh I don't know, 35 YEARS? But in a nice way. She didn't actually say idiot. I said idiot. I normally apply a light color all over my eyelid and above it, then line the crease of my eyelid with a darker color and smudge it a little.Then, I take my MAC brush (yes, I'm a makeup groupie) and make a line of the dark eyeshadow halfway across under my lower lashes. I learned all that from a Clinique makeover.

Wrong, wrong, wrong, depressingly wrong. She said with deep set eyes, I should NEVER wear dark eyeshadow. I must have looked really dismayed because she said I should use it only as a liner on my lid and only half way across. She proceeded to do this, then showed me the mirror. I was astounded. My deep set eyes suddenly looked much better. Not so...deep set. She dusted my face with a touch of bronzer (around my face, chin, tip of nose - where the sun hits you - it should FRAME your face - God, who knew all this crap?)

Then, she held up the mirror. I HAVE NEVER LOOKED SO GOOD.

Oh, I forgot.She also found the perfect lipstick. After trying approximately 50 shades on my lips (I apologized for taking so much of her time and she laughed, pressed her warm hand to my cheek and said "This is what I do! I love it!" and I felt better.) It's a color called Berry Truffle and it looks kind of dark but it's perfect on my lips. I tried to take a picture so you could see it on me but do you know how hard it is to take a picture in a mirror?? I almost hurt myself trying to get a picture of my lips.

Also - to those of you who recommended moisturizing my lips at night - you are right. She seconded your recommendation and sold me a lip conditioner that feels wonderful.

She had prepared a sheet for me with everything she had used so I bought a few things (since I didn't have, like, a skillion dollars to spend) and I will gradually pick up all the other products.

I'm not making any money from Estee Lauder for this post (although I am TOTALLY open to that idea - or free products. Free products would be good.) but I was really pleased with both the service and the products. There may be another brand you would like just as well. I know all the major cosmetic companies do makeovers, some with appointments and some just on the spot. If you think you might like a change, head to the mall and look for a free makeover.

You may find more than just a new lipstick color. Let me know how it goes.

"Cause Lipstick On Your Collar Told a Tale On You, Boy"

Yeah, I'm just messin' with you. But I bet you don't know what song those lyrics are from without checking on the big bad Google.


Anyway. About lipstick. I am having issues. Serious issues. Not as serious as finding a bra that fits AS WELL as having attractive panties that match, or locating a pair of jeans that doesn't make my ass look any larger than it already is, or purchasing a bathing suit that completely covers said ass instead of leaving a white, dimpled part of it to hang out and wobble as I walk, but still...serious. I CANNOT find a reasonably priced, pretty color lipstick that will actually stay on for more than two milliseconds and not cause my lips to dry up so much that I feel like I am stranded in the center of the burning sands of the Sahara in mid-Summer.


I keep purchasing lipsticks. And then after using them a few times, I throw them away. Stupidly, I keep buying them at the grocery store by looking at the color through the clear plastic cover and actually thinking it is going to look like that on my lips. Apparently, my lips have a tendency to turn most lipstick colors to a dark purple which would very attractive on, oh I don't know, an alien from another planet? I actually broke down and bought some rather expensive Aveda lipstick at a spa recently that is so dark, I look like I should slip on that rather tight blue jean skirt that hasn't fit me in years (but I'm sure it will just as soon as I lose about 30 pounds) and go stand on a street corner downtown. With thigh high black patent boots.


I know I can theoretically return that lipstick and exchange it for another color, but who has time to do that? I'd rather just buy another tube at the grocery and throw it away a day later. Much more productive use of my money than just tossing the money itself directly in the trash can.


I tried some Cover Girl lipstick and gloss that Liz had recommended because it was supposed to stay on for a long time. First, you spread on this lipstick from one end of the tube which dries your lips out so much that you have to spread this gooey gloss over it. The lipstick dried out my lips so much that they were actually forming little, flaky balls of skin that I could rub off on a tissue. And the gloss was roughly akin to spreading melted chicken fat on your lips. Not a pleasant sensation. Into the trash can with you!


Several years ago, I worked with a girl who wore the most perfect lipstick. She was classy and cool and sophisticated. She was so cool that she had the coolest name I have ever heard - Sundae. Isn't that just the coolest? She wore this creamy, perfect lipstick that was just a shade darker than her lips, the most fabulous pinky mauve color. I always wanted to ask her about her lipstick but I was just too intimidated by her fabulousness. Man, I wish I knew the name of that lipstick.


Surely there can't be that many people named Sundae. Maybe she will find this blog post. Maybe she will email me and tell me the name of that lipstick.


Sundae? Sundae, are you there?