Pop-Tarts On The Patio. With Butter. Of Course.

I went outside this morning to take a bag of recyclables and realized it was quite cool and lovely out there. And I was getting ready to make some Pop-Tarts for breakfast. With a cold Diet Mountain Dew.

Because that is, of course, a TOTALLY healthy breakfast.

So I decided to eat it out here. And it was lovely. Quite, quite lovely.

I love summer.

Check out my Herald-Leader blog post this morning: I Have A Lump In My Breast

My Family Is Quirky. Who Knew?

So. The Pop-Tart butter battle. I thought I would get a variety of comments. I thought some of my family would reply and adamently defend the right to butter the WRONG SIDE OF THE POP-TART and some people would support me in THE CORRECT WAY TO BUTTER A POP-TART. What I didn't expect was that a lot of people don't even butter their Pop-Tarts. Have never even heard of it. And, frankly, think it's a little...weird.

It's funny how when you are raised a certain way, you just think everyone knows about that way and feels it is the correct way and the only way and of course everyone does it that way. Well. Apparently, that is not true. Huh.

Some people do not spread butter on their Pop-Tart. And by spread I actually mean slather and by butter I mean that marvelous whipped up margerine in the tub. It's truly a fabulous combination.

You should try it. I'm talking to you there.

The Butter Battle

So, you remember when I wrote about my Pop-Tart obsession ? Well, I was at the grocery store the other day and I found THESE.

Can you believe it? Whole grain Pop-Tarts! Healthy Pop-Tarts! And is that an oxymoron or what? Anyway, of course I had to buy them and because they are so obsessively delicious because I am concerned about your health, I decided to do a taste test to determine which Pop-Tarts tasted the best since I just happened to have the other box of regular Pop-Tarts as well. And since it was a snow day and I had some extra time on my hands.

Our two competitors. And, ironically? They are BOTH 4 Weight Watcher points. Even though the whole wheat ones have more fiber, they also have more sugar and fat. I guess to make the fiber a little more palatable.


The two competitors on a plate. The whole wheat Pop-Tarts immediately lose some points because they don't have as much icing as the cherry ones. Or spinkles.

Buttered, on a plate, ready for the taste test.


Sound a drum roll please. The taste test has begun.


Hmmmm. And nom nom nom. I do love Pop-Tarts. I was all prepared to put one of the boxes in Photoshop and drape a gold medal on it but:

1. I don't know how to do that in Photoshop and

2. The taste test was a tie.
   

Really. They taste about the same. The cherry ones are a little sweeter but the whole grain ones have that wheat taste that I like. And, since they are both the exact same number of Weight Watcher points, you might as well eat both. Or really. Neither. You should be eating some whole grain cereal and fruit. Like me.

And, in conclusion, I have to tell you a story which came to me as I was buttering my Pop-Tarts. A long, long time ago when our kids were still kids, my whole family was vacationing in a beachside condo in Pensacola. My sweet and lovely sister-in-law popped some Pop-Tarts in the toaster for her girls, took them out and PROCEEDED TO BUTTER THEM ON THE WRONG SIDE. Of course, you know and agree with me because you are my faithful readers, that you are supposed to butter your Pop-Tarts on the icing side. OF COURSE. But she buttered them on the wrong side. The plain side. And was surprised that I thought this was absolutely appalling.

So, about buttering your Pop-Tarts ON THE WRONG SIDE. I'm right, aren't I? My faithful readers. You know I am right. Please tell me so in the comments. Tell me that you butter your Pop-Tarts on the icing side and not THE WRONG SIDE. Because even though I know we are in the middle of trying to decide on the right candidate for president? We must set our priorities here. And Pop-Tarts are #1.

So? Which side? And by the way. Not to sway your vote or anything. But your hair looks REALLY pretty today.

Eating Pop Tarts in Wal-Mart

Actual things my husband has said to me recently. Really.

In the past: Can you bring me a slice of that chocolate cake?

In the present: Can you bring me an apple?

In the past: Can you pick up some chicken nuggets and fries when you go out?

In the present: I don't want fast food - can you get something healthy?

In the past: Can we have fried chicken/roast beef/meat loaf/ for dinner?

In the present: Can we have salad for dinner?

In the past: Just let me finish this video game before I get ready to go.

In the present: Just let me walk on the treadmill before I get ready to go.

In the past (in response to "Did you get some lunch while I was gone?") Yeah, I had a peanut butter sandwich.

In the present: Yeah, I had some yogurt and fruit.


And. So. Here's me.

I went to Wal-Mart the other day to pick up some groceries and, unfortunately, I went when I was hungry. You remember in "Pretty Woman" when she says "Big mistake. Big, big, huge mistake."

Yeah. That. I was trying to wait until I got home when I could at least eat something light and was in the middle of purchasing some healthy cereal when I saw them.

The Pop-Tarts. God. I haven't had Pop-Tarts in AGES. They looked so good. Brown Sugar Cinnamon, Blueberry, Chocolate - all iced of course, because really? Who buys the other kind? And then I saw them. Cherry iced Pop-Tarts. And my mouth quite literally FILLED with saliva. I had to have them.

Had.to.have.them. I took the box. I opened the box. I took out a Pop-Tart. And I ate it while strolling around Wal-Mart. I am absolutely, without a doubt, the CLASSIEST person in the world.

But man. It was good.

And this could possibly, just possibly be why he has lost 25 pounds. And I have lost 3.