Crack For Dieters

One day last week I was home with a miserable nose. Hah! I meant cold and typed nose. That tells you just how stuffed up I was. In bed, in my sleeping pants, surrounded by used Kleenex, watching "Gilmore Girls", I was craving a snack. So I sauntered on into the kitchen and opened up the diet cupboard which is full of those 100-calorie snacks. And I saw them. Nabisco Chips Ahoy candy bites. Not just cookies, mind you. These are tiny balls of cookie yumminess COVERED with candy. Hmmm. I think I will try them.

Do you like malted milk balls? Like the crunch of candy that leads to the goodness of sweet heaven inside? Then, oh good golly, you will like these. They don't TASTE like malted milk, they taste like chocolate chips cookies. Covered with candy. With candy. Are you getting the concept here?

I may have gone back and got another package. I may have eaten a couple more packages after my nap, during which I fell asleep so hard that I had that jerking twitch you do when you feel like you are falling. You know? So, really. The whole 100-calorie concept was kind of lost on me. Because I ate like 600-calories worth. I think they have a little crack in them.

The Crack Cookies. Try to eat just

one package.

I dare you.

Tofu Noodles and Chocolate Croissants

OK, we are totally into the diet thing now. Together. We are a team. We are strong and mighty and dedicated and have TREMENDOUS willpower.

At least Tom does.

Me. Not so much.

I am trying to plan menus and eat healthy and try some new, healthier foods. We have become apple connoisseurs and discovered that there are several DIFFERENT KINDS OF APPLES. Who knew? We love Fuji apples and the Honey Crisp apples. We are eating lots of fresh fruit and fresh veggies and grilled meats. We like the Progresso O-Point Soups and we are eating yogurt and sugar free pudding.

Then I read about these Shirataki Tofu Noodles which are 0 points, so I went to the local health food store to find some so we could try them. I bought several items to try and was doing really well, just stockin' up my cart with all this healthy stuff and then I realized.

The health food store has a bakery.

I tried to turn away. Really I did. I told myself I could eat an apple and have a nice, cold bottle of water. Yum! Wouldn't that be so good and delicious and fabulous and...it was no use. I was already walking up the aisle. I had already seen the chocolate croissant.

This was the queen of chocolate croissants. Not only did it have chocolate on the INSIDE, it had chocolate on the OUTSIDE. I...bought it. And then. I ate it in the car. It's not that I was concerned that Tom would see me eat it.

OK. Yes it was.

He is SO GOOD. He has such great willpower. I just couldn't let him know about the chocolate croissant. When I pulled into our neighborhood, I looked down and realized I had croissant flakes all over my clothes. I was frantically brushing them off when I realized his truck was not outside. He wasn't even home yet.

I brushed myself off completely and carried the groceries inside. At least I only bought one croissant. I didn't buy more baked goods to eat later. Just the one. That should buy me some points.

But I had to confess in my blog. Even though he would never know.

The guilt was killing me.

Besides. I think there might still be some croissant flakes in the seat of the car.


Oh, and the Shirataki Tofu noodles - astonishingly good!! Tom is still complaining that I made him eat tofu noodles - but before he knew they were tofu, he said they were really good.

A Block of Marble

Yeah. I'm a little embarrassed. I was looking for something in one of my old blog posts and I found a quote in this post about how DETERMINED I was to lose weight. Yes, I was just determined and I was going to lose it and I was going to look GREAT and...oh. That post was written NINE MONTHS AGO. And...uh...I weigh exactly the same amount. I have lost and gained the same few pounds, just like always. I'm trying to stay on Weight Watchers. I came back to school this year determined to lose the weight. But, apparently, I had that same determination last year. And probably the year after that. At some point, does the determination actually take hold?


When I went to my conference last week, I stopped at a bakery on my way out of town and got cinnamon rolls and cookies. Force of habit. I like to have snacks in my hotel room and I ALWAYS stop and get that stuff. I never thought about taking healthy stuff with me. Should have. I have to train myself. I try. But it's hard.


When I was cleaning the basement the other day, I was going through old pictures and found one of me when I was about 28. I have on a little terry cloth shorts outfit and I am tall and long-legged and slender. I want to be that person again. This person with the poochy belly and fat thighs is not me. That 28-year old with the nicely proportioned thighs and legs is the real me.



I read something about Michelangelo the other day. When he was asked how he got the statue of David from a block of marble, he replied that he just got rid of everything that was not David. It was very simple.



So that's what I need to do. Get rid of everything that is not me. Because that slender body is the real me. And I want to be me again.

Step Away from the Baked Goods

If you read the pizza snarfing post from yesterday, you already know I'm not doing too well with the diet. I have gained back a couple of pounds and am not having any luck taking any off at all. I can't imagine why. I'm sure it has absolutely nothing to do with the cake, cookies, pies, croissants and doughnuts I have been eating.

I had been doing really well at not eating this stuff. I had really been sticking to the low calorie stuff and eating lots of fruit. I'm not sure when the decline began exactly. It may have been during teacher appreciation week. We were deluged with sweet stuff and I am not one to turn down a chocolate iced brownie. Not me. Then I found myself buying stuff from the bakery section at the grocery - and eating some of it on the way home! It's not because Tom cares in the least what I eat or that he would judge me. I think it's because if I eat some on the way home, then I can eat more when I get home! And I don't just buy a couple of turnovers. Oh, no. I think, "Well, I will probably eat those turnovers tonight. So I better get some chocolate croissants for breakfast. And maybe some cookies too. I could take those in my lunch tomorrow."

And the awful thing is, this all sounds perfectly logical in my head!! So I buy it all. And I eat it all. I stopped at a new grocery store yesterday to pick up some good bread to go with the red beans and rice I was making for dinner. Of course, they have a great bakery. And I was hungry. If I could have bought, like, one cookie and eaten it in the car that might not have been too bad. But I'm thinking "Wow, they have three kinds of cookies. I really should try all three. Three of each. Nine cookies. Hmmmm...yeah, maybe I should get some of those turnovers too. 'Cause the cookies might not be enough. And maybe some..." You see? You see how it goes?

And the really funny thing is...the stuff is not all that good. The stuff I bought at the new store actually was pretty good because they do have a good bakery. But the stuff I buy at the chain grocery stores? Not really that tasty. But does that stop me? No. I keep buying. I keep eating. I can't seem to stop.

I think I have reactivated my sugar monster. I had caused it to go dormant by not feeding it but now I have reawakened the monster. I don't like this. I don't feel good when I eat all that junk. It makes me kinda bloated and faintly sick. Probably because I eat so freakin' much.

I have to stop. I HAVE to stop. Right after I finish this Frosty I got at Wendy's and probably the two leftover Krispy Kreme doughnuts I got this morning. Right after.

I mean it.

Did You Know? Part Deux.

Did you know that when you have to get up to go to work at school at 5:00 a.m. and it's pitch dark, your eyes aren't really focusing too well?

Did you know you can think you are hitting the button for Diet Mountain Dew and it's really the button for Mountain Dew on the coke machine in the teacher's lounge?

Did you know those freakin' bottles cost $1.25 so you are going to drink it no matter what?

Did you know that there are 110 calories listed on the label on one of those bottles?

But the worst thing of all.

Did you know there are actually 2 1/2 servings in each of those bottles? Like anybody is really going to drink 1/2 of one. Please.

So, that is 110 calories PER SERVING. And that's, like, uh, a bunch of calories. (Shut UP. I'm a librarian, not a math teacher. Ask me a book question and I'll blow your drawers off.)

So, finally.

Did you know that's roughly equivalent to almost an entire meal in Weight Watcher points?

Game over, man.

But then, there's this.

Just look how healthy this is. Blueberries, lettuce with a drizzle of low fat dressing and wheat pasta tossed with low fat ham and cheese. My dinner.

I AM a good girl, aren't I?

Just don't ask what I had for dessert.

Isn't That Just the Cutest Thang?

So, I'm trying to eat lots of fruits and veggies. As mentioned previously, I am on the Weight Watchers wagon, trying to hang on so I can get over being (fat) slightly overweight. I actually like a lot of fruits and veggies, so it's not too much of an ordeal. It's just the planning ahead, shopping, buying, preparing, etc. It requires a great deal of time which could much better be spent reading or napping. Perhaps my priorities go a long way towards explaining the fat situation.


I was at Meijer, perusing the produce section. I love Meijer's produce section. And I love the way they have cut-up fruit and veggies for sale. Good, fresh ones, not those yucky old packages from Dole that Kroger sells. I realize I could cut up my OWN fruits and veggies, but this is so much easier. And allows time for the previously mentioned naps and reading. Then I saw them. Right next to the regular pears.

They were...baby pears. Tiny little pears. Miniature pears. Why, they were just the cutest thing I have ever seen. Wait, I take that back. My grandson is the cutest thing I have ever seen. OK, these are the cutest FOOD ITEM I have ever seen. They are called Seckel Pears. They can fit in your hand and they are just perfect, miniature duplicates of a regular pear.Of course, I had to buy some. And they are really good! Very sweet. I recommend them.

And just look how cute they are compared to a regular pear.

So this just opens up all kinds of possibilities in my mind. How handy would it be to have a miniature watermelon? Or a miniature cantaloupe? Wouldn't that be cool? You could just cut them and eat them with a spoon.


I am very excited about this.

Dieting and Other Horrors

The older you get, the tougher it is to lose weight because by then, your body and your fat are really good friends.

OK, I lied about the other horrors. This is just about dieting. I just thought you might be interested. Since you are probably not interested, go on and read those other blogs. I know you want to. Go on.

Whew, I thought she would never leave.

As mentioned previously, I am waging the battle against fat rolls on my back and thighs that audibly rub together when I walk. In this process (which has see-sawed back and forth so often over the years, I feel like I'm getting diet whiplash), I have discovered some foods that are really pretty good and work pretty well, if I will just stick to the diet. I'm sure you have some too, so send 'em on in a comment and, if I get a ton of comments (one can only hope), I'll put them together for you in another diet tips post.

Have you tried the 100-calorie packages of cookies and cracker snacks from Kraft and Nabisco? They have been around for a while, but they are coming out with more every day. They now have little, bitty (they are so CUTE) cheese balls and Cheetos in those little packages. They are not really diet food as such, but since they are packaged in 100-calorie amounts, they provide portion control - an important part of dieting. If you have the time and the inclination (and nothing else to do with your life), you could do the same thing by opening a big bag and measuring out the same amount into dozens of little plastic sandwich bags. What you don't want to do is open a big bag and think you can just eat a handful. Not that I would EVER do that. It just makes a nice lunch to have one of these with a turkey sandwich on whole-wheat bread.

If you like muffins for breakfast or even for a snack, you should try the Vitalicous Muffins. You have to order them online but they are SO worth it. The big ones are only 3 points and the smaller ones and the muffin tops are only 1 point. They are heavy, dense, fruit and nut packed and sweet and delicious. I have tried other low-fat muffins and they taste like sawdust. Even the Weight Watcher muffins are not good. They are small and too sweet for my taste. I like all the varieties of these, but I think my favorite is the chocolate with white chocolate chips muffin tops. At 1 point each, you can eat two just like a cookie and feel like you are having a great dessert. Sometimes, I put one in a bowl, drizzle a little low fat caramel ice cream topping on it, add whipped cream and cherry and have a great dessert for about 2 points. You have to order quite a few, so when you get the box, just pop the whole thing in your freezer. They freeze great. When are ready to eat one, just take it out in it's individual package and microwave it.

Are you eating dark chocolate? It's really the best chocolate for you since it's packed with anti-oxidants (which you know unless you have been living in a cave on Jupiter for the last year). I have tried several kinds and don't even waste your time with the cheaper brands - they taste like plastic. Go straight for the expensive stuff like Lindt Chocolates or Ghiradelli. You can order either online, but they are also available at most grocery stores. Just remember to have a small piece, not the whole bar. While we are talking about candy, the new Hershey's Snacksters are really good. They are 100 calorie packages that include cereal puffs, tiny cookies and either chocolate or peanut butter chips. Hershey's Sticks are little 60-calorie candy bars that are also good. And Hershey's also has bars of dark chocolate and chocolate covered pretzels which are 100-calorie.

I have also discovered Cocoa Via heart healthy snacks. They make bars of chocolate as well as chocolate covered almonds and raisins. It is all dark chocolate, so they are good and good for you. One of my favorites is the chocolate and blueberry bar. Sounds weird, but it's good. They vary in points value, but most are 2-3 points.

Of course, I should be eating tons of fruits and vegetables instead of some of this snack stuff and I am doing that to a certain extent. It's a process and I'm getting there. When I eat one of those little 100-calorie treats, I tell myself "You know, you could be having two apples for the same amount of points. And it would be better for you." Sometimes, I actually listen to myself and have an apple.

Oh, but I also usually cut it into pieces and dip it into that fat-free caramel dip you can get in individual servings.

Hey - I'm getting better! How are you doing on your diet?

Fruit is SO not a dessert

So I am fat. Yeah. Fat. I have more than one roll on my stomach. My thighs rub together when I walk. And I have dimples on my thighs. Cellulite dimples. Don't ya hate those?

When you read those diet help articles in EVERY magazine, most of the women talk about how they have fought their fat for years - like since they were in elementary school. Not me. I was skinny, skinny, skinny for years. I weighed 100 pounds when I went to college. I didn't start getting fat until I was in my late 30's and my bad eating habits and aversion to exercise of any kind which did not involve reading a book in a lazy boy recliner, finally caught up with me. I know everyone overweight struggles with it. I know it's a battle. But I kinda think it's harder for those of us that used to be thin. Effortlessly thin.

So I'm on Weight Watchers. It has worked before. In fact, it works beautifully. Right up to the point I stop being on Weight Watchers and start eating homemade butter cream frosting with a spoon.

But I am serious this time. I am determined. My friend Hazel says I seem determined. I am. I'm tired of being fat. And I had to buy a bigger size in pants!! Uh-uh. No way am I heading up that road.

When you check the Weight Watchers online site, they have menu ideas. I'm trying to use them. They are good, sensible and very helpful. But...they have fruit for dessert. It's like - eat this and this and this - and finish with a tangerine. Huh? That's not dessert. Dessert is chocolate. Dessert is cake and pie and cookies. Dessert is good and sinful and wicked. Dessert is NOT FRUIT. But it should be. And it will be. It will be.

I'm working on it.