If They Could See Me Now

OK, so I have on my new set of light turquoise lace matching underwear (but you knew my underwear was matching today, didn't you?) because I have on a capri set that has some light turquoise trim and, even though nobody but me will know it (and Tom if he gets lucky), my underwear coordinates SO nicely with my outfit.

But I just went in the bathroom and was primping my hair in the mirror and I realized - I have on white capri pants. And I thought, I wonder if my light turquoise lace panties are showing through my white pants? So I turned around and bent over really far so I could see my bottom in the mirror and determine if my panties were showing through. (although what I could do about it at that point, I don't know.) It wasn't easy to get over far enough to see my bottom in a mirror that is actually over the sink, but, by standing on my toes and craning my neck, I managed. Then I had to reach back and stretch the material to make sure they weren't showing through. OK, I'm golden. You can't see them.

Then I straightened up, staggered and bonked my forehead on the wall.

So. Now I have matching underwear. A really cute outfit. Panties that are NOT showing through my white pants. And a bruised forehead.

I am SO CLASSY.

The Match Game

I always wear matching underwear. Bra, panties - they ALWAYS match. Not just white with white or black with black, but the same pattern, same design, matching. What can I say? I like them to match. I think it's a knee-jerk reaction to being so poor in the past. Back in the day, I worried about keeping my children clothed and fed and whether my underwear was freshly washed and hole-free. I did not worry about whether it matched. Now that I can afford nice underwear, I buy it. I have an underwear addiction to go along with my pajama addiction. If I could live in lingerie, I would seriously consider it. But only around the house. I don't wear my sleepwear to Wal-Mart, like some people.

But, getting to the point. Why is it so hard to find matching underwear? I'm not talking to you slim, 20-somethings who wear those panties so tiny I have to put my reading glasses on to even see. There's always plenty of those in the store, in darling prints and colors with the matching tiny bras. I'm talking to those other middle-aged women who wear high-cut briefs in the larger sizes. Even if (when) I lose those extra pounds, my hips are still gonna be wide. After bearing two children who pushed them apart with their little chubby hands in their rush to get out in the world, those hips ain't going back. Hence, the need for the larger panties. And they have to be roomy in the butt. Don't you hate those panties (and bathing suits) that are cut up high in the back and you have to keep pulling at them in a vain effort to cover that pasty white cellulite?

There is no lack of bras for us in the stores. Rack after rack of bras. And a minuscule number of those racks have the matching panties behind the bras. An even smaller number of those panties are high cut briefs. And then you get to the minuscule number (usually one - and that woman who gets there before me? And buys that pair? May they shrink up until she can't draw a deep breath.) in the larger sizes. AND. They don't always have matching panties for every color.

I just bought a beautiful, well-fitting set of a black bra and panties. They had the same bra in about four other colors. But the panties? Not so much. In fact, not. I checked with the salesgirl to be sure and yeah, they just don't always send panties to match all the bras. Here's my question.

WHY NOT?

We women who buy that nice, large size lingerie in classy department stores that you can't ever get on sale - hey, we are the ones with the money! We are the ones with grown children who have time to shop and try on clothes! We are the ones who are travelling and need nice, new lingerie to model for our husbands in our cabin on the ship. OK, that's a lie. Our husbands (and guys in general) really don't care about nice, matching underwear. They don't actually care about underwear. If we would do away with underwear completely, that would be fine with them. In fact, they would prefer it. The underwear is for us. And, if we are going shopping or on a trip with our friends, to show off for them.

So, how about making more high-cut briefs to match those bras? In every, single color? And can you make even more panties in the larger sizes to match those bras? So if that woman gets to the store before me, I can still buy a pair?

That woman really pisses me off. And her butt looks really big in those jeans.