I Am So OVER Comforters

Does anyone else have this problem? The comforters are nice, fit the bed perfectly, lay just right - but those frakin' bedskirts! They slip, they slide, all of a sudden they are hanging down more on one side than the other and you can see the white part that is supposed to be hidden under the mattress. I HATE that. And there is no way to fix it without completely taking the bed apart and straightening it under the mattress. I had the complete bed design. The requisite six pillows. Which I didn't even know met the requirements of a perfect bed design until my daughter nodded approvingly when she saw how many pillows I had propped up on it.

But that bedskirt - dust ruffle, whatevah - had done that one too many times. I was getting rid of comforters. I was switching back to bedspreads!

Hey. You know what? Nobody SELLS bedspreads anymore. Not Walmart, not Target, not any department store at the mall. You can buy them online but not at any store that I can find. What's up with that? Who made the decision that we will use comforters and only comforters and this is absolutely the only accepted bed cover? I would have thought I was completely crazy because when I mentioned this quandary to my daughter and my nieces the other day, they just looked quizzically at me and exchanged looks that were just short of twirling their fingers beside their heads. Bedspreads? How TOTALLY 1980's.

But then I had lunch with my friend Sallye the other day and she nodded sympathetically and in COMPLETE AGREEMENT when I raved about this topic and, even if she was just mollifying me? I don't care. A big shout out, Sallye. You are a true friend.

So I got to thinking. And I remembered that I had an old, cream colored crocheted bedspread packed away that had belonged to Tom's mother and possibly his grandmother. I'm thinking his grandmother because of the way it doesn't exactly fit a full size bed but was probably designed for an antique, smaller bed. It was so pretty I didn't want to get rid of it even though I couldn't imagine ever using it. Well, here was the time.

I got out my plastic tub of handmade quilts and that crocheted bedspread and carried my new bed cover upstairs. I honestly don't know if one of them made it and Tom doesn't know either but I don't care. I like it anyway. It was so loosely woven that I needed a cream blanket under it, so I ran and bought one, soft as velvet. I made up the bed and that's when I realized that bedspread was not nearly wide enough for my bed. So, if you come to my house? Don't walk around and look at the other side of the bed. Because that bedspread hangs beautifully on one side as long as the other side is sorta hiked up.

So, the other night I turned down my beautiful crocheted bedspread and lay down under the sheet and my new, cream colored velvety feeling blanket. And about froze my butt off. I didn't realize how warm that thick comforter was. So I went back to the plastic tub in the storeroom and got out one of those lovely patchwork quilts which had been handmade by Tom's mother. And remade the bed with that quilt hiding under the cream blanket.

So. In essence, I am a grandmother sleeping under a homemade patchwork quilt and a (possibly) homemade crocheted bedspread.

Tonight I plan to heat up some bricks and put them at the foot of the bed. And then I might possibly go out and shoot a bear for dinner. Just possibly.


I am confused about tipping. I know how to tip when I am traveling. I know you are supposed to tip the guy who carries your suitcases from the curb at the airport and I know you are supposed to tip the guy who carries your suitcases into your hotel room. That's one of the reasons I bring Tom along. I don't have to tip him at all. Read more at my Herald-Leader blog here.